So, this girl wants to be my roommate

[Aero51]

Which, I have no problem getting a roommate, but there are a few things that bother me about this situation.

1) I've only hung out with the girl 3 times
2) We talked about becoming room mates today and she wanted to move in...tomorrow
3) She hasnt even seen my place (though in all fairness we live in the same complex, but I have a 900sqft apartment and she has a 650sqft with a roommate)
4) Didnt care to make any agreements on anything before hand.


And to make things worse I haven't even slept with her.

Why can't I meet normal women...Why are they always screwed up and about 5 years older than me...

But

1) She has a stable job with a good income
2) Generally a nice person/easy to talk to
3) Seems willing to compromise and meet equally on expenses
4) Good looking

 

[Permanence]

But seriously bruv this sounds like a terrible idea. I don't think I need to elaborate or explain myself. You already know that this is a terrible idea yourself. Plus you run the risk of not even getting to sleep with her once...

 

[Aero51]

But I need the extra 450$ badly per month...

 

[256bits]

Why can't I meet normal women...Why are they always screwed up and about 5 years older than me...

The screwed up ones are always more exciting and challenging, with an element of suspense.
The other kind is just plain old boring. ;)

 

[Drakkith]

But I need the extra 450$ badly per month...

Flip a coin and let it decide?
Did she say why she needs to move in so quickly?

 

[Borg]

Be careful what you choose. The fact that she has a current roommate leads me to consider two possibilities:

• Her roommate isn't easy to live with and/or isn't paying bills on time
• She isn't easy to live with and/or isn't paying bills on time and she has worn out her welcome.

Perhaps talk to the current roommate and casually ask how things are going on the homefront without mentioning the potential move.

 

[Lavabug]

The screwed up ones are always more exciting and challenging, with an element of suspense.

All kinds of suspense. Like the one you get when you have to go see a GP about that itch a few days later.

 

[Aero51]

Well I had an interesting evening last night...She called me and showed up somewhat drunk at my place around 2am. With her, came a nice little dog. Anyway...

So first thing she does when she gets into my apartment is introduce me to her dog, then goes into the kitchen. She looks at my medication sitting on my counter and asks "Will any of these get me high?". What the hell? I tell her that they will turn you into a zombie long before you'll get high.

After that she takes one of my chicken wings, without asking me, and feeds it to her dog. I wouldn't have minded if she asked. I probably would have given her a plate full since I made 24. So her and the dog played in my living room for about 20 minutes, which is fine since I love dogs. She took a few more chicken wings, complementing on their flavor, and eating them.

She walks into my minni-office and immediately proclaims that it would make a nice bedroom for her, ignoring the desk, file cabinets, 2 laptops, printer, and my degree which is hanging above my office chair. I immediately told her no.

So later on she walks into my kitchen again and grabs my bottle of whiskey and a third of a Gatorade and mixes them together. You don't mix whiskey and Gatorade... She used probably 6 shots worth of my liquor and poured it all in my classic Sam Adams beer glass my dad got me as a gift.

Shes hanging all over me but I know she's drunk so I make a very strong effort not to sleep with her. And then she pops the question "So, if we are living together should we F***?" This could be a trick question, but I calmly and coolly said "I don't think it will be a problem". She was hesitant, typical woman.

Since her dog likes me so much (which is rare because her dog was abused and normally hates strangers) she wants to see if she will follow me to my bedroom (uh oh! ;) So I walk into my bedroom and sure enough the dog follows me and sleeps near me too. So she jumps on the bed and I am thinking "Hell yeah" but we get talking and she goes on about how she got out of a 7 year relationship and she is looking for a guy who will be in love with her (crap) before she has sex.

I make a good effort to change her opinion, but give up after she goes back to want to try some Seroquel again. It's dangerous to take with alcohol, since it will zombify you at low doses if you aren't used to it. "Ill be fine," she states. Well she took it then left my apartment, but not before she gave me some action.

Weird night. I doubt I'll let her be my roommate because I don't want someone digging through my pills in secret trying to get high off anti psychotics.

 

[Jorriss]

I don't think it's possible to back out this situation fast enough.

 

[Lavabug]

IMO, you've walked into a minefield. Better back out asap, or you better start learning reanimation/CPR techniques and getting yourself a good lawyer... because if something happens to her at your place, guess who her family or friends are going to come after.

 

[Drakkith]

There is nothing about that situation that could possibly be good. Even the sex.

 

[lisab]

I don't think it's possible to back out this situation fast enough.

That...

IMO, you've walked into a minefield. Better back out asap, or you better start learning reanimation/CPR techniques and getting yourself a good lawyer... because if something happens to her at your place, guess who her family or friends are going to come after.

...that...

There is nothing about that situation that could possibly be good. Even the sex.

...and that.

Get this psycho out of your life, pronto.

 

[micromass]

I don't think it's possible to back out this situation fast enough.

I don't think there is a sentence in the entire english language that could describe this situation better.

 

[reenmachine]

Do you like to have someone running your life and taking the decisions for you? Do you like having problems? If the answer to these questions is yes , then by all mean take her as your roommate.

The only fact that you've considered it is concerning.Never underestimate the amount of trouble and danger this kind of woman can bring into your life.

Right away she confuse your space for her space , your food for her food , it's only a matter of time before she considers your money her money , your sex organ her sex organ and your life her life.

This is the kind of woman who could try to cut a hole in a condom in order to get pregnant from you if she feels you're going to leave her.

DO NOT ENTER THIS HELL.

 

[Aero51]

But there is still this issue of $450 a month...maybe a psycho is worth it

 

[micromass]

But there is still this issue of $450 a month...maybe a psycho is worth it

Yeah, you're right. Go tell her to move in with you immediately then.

 

[Aero51]

Maybe if I lock all the cabinets an put child safety warnings on my pills she will behave.

In all seriousness though its sad because she could be a nice person if she didn't make dumb decisions.

 

[micromass]

Maybe if I lock all the cabinets an put child safety warnings on my pills she will behave.

Yeah, if you're considering putting locks on the cabinets for your roommate, then I think that says enough...

 

[Aero51]

I was kidding with that last statement. A more viable solution is to wrap her in bubble wrap.

 

[zoobyshoe]

But there is still this issue of $450 a month...maybe a psycho is worth it

The trouble with psychos is they don't pay their rent. I'm thinking she considers the bit of "action" you got a deposit. See what I'm saying?

 

[Aero51]

In all honesty she is financially stable. She teaches at a technical school, writes for a few companies, has her own dog watching business. She even gave me $30 for gas money yesterday for driving her to a clients house.

And she's not slutty, if she was she would have slept with me when I first met her months ago.

 

[micromass]

In all honesty she is financially stable. She teaches at a technical school, writes for a few companies, has her own dog watching business. She even gave me $30 for gas money yesterday for driving her to a clients house.

And she's not slutty, if she was she would have slept with me when I first met her months ago.

Yep, sounds like a winner. Go move in with her.

 

[Aero51]

Micromass, would YOU like to room with me?

 

[jedishrfu]

I don't think there is a sentence in the entire english language that could describe this situation better.

There is: No good will come of this.

 

[jedishrfu]

if she has your phone # on speed dial what name did she give you?

 

[Lavabug]

But there is still this issue of $450 a month...maybe a psycho is worth it

A prostitute is cheaper and won't land you having to pay tens of thousands in jail bonds or worse whenever she ends up in ER or croaks or goes (more) nuts and decides to ruin your life, something which she is in a very good position to do already. Maybe it won't stroke your ego as much, but then again, neither will your buff jail cell inmate.

 

[Borg]

In all honesty she is financially stable. She teaches at a technical school, writes for a few companies, has her own dog watching business. She even gave me $30 for gas money yesterday for driving her to a clients house.

And she's not slutty, if she was she would have slept with me when I first met her months ago.

So, she needed to be driven to a client after taking every drug and alcohol combination she could get? Why do you make excuses for something that everyone clearly sees as a train wreck in the making? Even if you get $450 a month in cash and 'services', you will regret it. The problems will be greater than you can apparently imagine. Everyone sees this clearly.

 

[jackmell]

Weird night. I doubt I'll let her be my roommate because I don't want someone digging through my pills in secret trying to get high off anti psychotics.

I personally believe living with a woman in an environment of psychosis will only make matters worst. Would your doctor agree or disagree? Actually it often makes things worst even if you're not psychotic but I digress. My opinion in this matter is to more recognize your mental health and to treat it in a way that makes you better: seek treatment, take your meds, socialize and engage, and at least for the time being, live alone and find happiness in solitude. This is the wise solution to this problem in my opinion.

And when you get older, you will look back at some of your failings and wish very, very much that you could go back and make wiser choices in your youth. So there you go: we're back. :)

 

[Mépris]

In all honesty she is financially stable. She teaches at a technical school, writes for a few companies, has her own dog watching business. She even gave me $30 for gas money yesterday for driving her to a clients house.

And she's not slutty, if she was she would have slept with me when I first met her months ago.

Why are you even trying to rationalise this? This guy below, he speaks the truth:

A prostitute is cheaper and won't land you having to pay tens of thousands in jail bonds or worse whenever she ends up in ER or croaks or goes (more) nuts and decides to ruin your life, something which she is in a very good position to do already. Maybe it won't stroke your ego as much, but then again, neither will your buff jail cell inmate.

Things could get that messed up. Or worse...a false rape charge or something.

Aero, I am willing to bet that if you just went out and spoke to more *young* girls (college bar, streets, coffee shop, movies, anywhere - nothing creepy about it), you will eventually get better at talking to strangers/women, and soon enough, you will find a woman that is attractive, pleasant, interesting, and not "five years older than you" and "insane"...and by then, you will realize how insane the very thought of letting this woman into your house is again.

 

[reenmachine]

You're still not convinced it's not a good idea? I'm thinking you actually enjoy the excitement a crazy psycho girl could bring into your life.Are you bored?? In need of some adrenaline rushes? Try roller coasters , they are much cheaper in the long run.

 

[Aero51]

1) In all truthfulness I am attracted to chaos as this is how I grew up.

2) I need the money badly. I know its a bad idea but right now I have $400 a month spending money, which is barely enough for food and gas.

 

[Lavabug]

1) In all truthfulness I am attracted to chaos as this is how I grew up.

2) I need the money badly. I know its a bad idea but right now I have $400 a month spending money, which is barely enough for food and gas.

Seriously man, you're an aerospace engineer right? I'm sure you can figure out a way to cut back on costs and earn some extra money on the side in a much safer fashion.

Is 400$ a month really worth the potential drama, court costs and months or years of income because of some bogus conviction she could easily concoct against you?

Let me be blunt(er). Let's assume the positive scenario in which she doesn't deliberately go out to screw your life up at some point as we have been hinting. Your DNA is all over her body and probably will be regularly if you keep this up. She could trip down some stairs while tripping balls. Good luck convincing her family or a judge that it wasn't a case of date rape or passionate homicide.

 

[cristo]

I think people are overreacting somewhat. Just because someone (a college kid) was drunk/high does not make her a psycho who's going to stitch you up, or is going to kill herself such that you would get the blame. That's the sort of thing that happens in movies.

Still, while the situation may be exciting, she's probably not someone you want to live with! If you really need the money, you could get a part time job?

 

[Drakkith]

1) In all truthfulness I am attracted to chaos as this is how I grew up.

Or maybe you just consider this 'normal' behavior for people and think it's acceptable. It's not. And the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be.

2) I need the money badly. I know its a bad idea but right now I have $400 a month spending money, which is barely enough for food and gas.

You have other options. Go put out an ad somewhere or ask around and get another roommate if you need money that badly. Move into a smaller, cheaper place. Move closer to work/school so you're not spending so much on gas.

 

[zoobyshoe]

In all honesty she is financially stable. She teaches at a technical school, writes for a few companies, has her own dog watching business. She even gave me $30 for gas money yesterday for driving her to a clients house.

And she's not slutty, if she was she would have slept with me when I first met her months ago.

If she stops paying her rent, you'll want to get rid of her, right? If she refuses to leave you'll have to start a legal action in motion. This ends with sheriff's deputies arriving at the apt. who will force her to move her stuff out onto the sidewalk if she claims she has nowhere to put it.

Regardless, here in San Diego is COSTS something like $250.00 to file an unlawful detainer against someone, and it takes as much as three months before the deputies come to kick them out.

You had better check into the way it works there, because here it's very hard to get rid of a roommate who refuses to move.