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Some fun.

  1. Nov 19, 2003 #1
    Some fun.......

    I thought I'd share this with you all - it made me smile......


    Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well,
    here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American
    University.


    "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
    The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and
    forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to
    keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and
    anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is
    over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
    Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    STORY:

    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
    chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home,
    now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
    that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
    her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
    thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
    chamomile was out of the question.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    (second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron
    now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
    than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
    whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
    Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
    orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
    sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
    hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
    him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt
    one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
    had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
    pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
    "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
    Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
    excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her
    youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
    newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of
    innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
    lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
    Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched
    the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized
    poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
    slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm
    going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
    writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
    writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
    chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
    novels."

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    Ass hole.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    B i t c h.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    W*nker.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    S l u t.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    Get f*cked.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Eat sh*t.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Go drink some tea -- w h o r e.

    **********************************************

    (Teacher) A - I really liked this one.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 20, 2003 #2

    hypnagogue

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    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    LOL!! Literary gold!

    Oh man. That was classic.
     
  4. Nov 20, 2003 #3
    hahahahaha
     
  5. Nov 20, 2003 #4
    I've read this before, but it still makes me laugh. Of course in the version I heard, it was an english university(hence the "wanker").
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2003
  6. Nov 20, 2003 #5

    jimmy p

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    Gold Member

    AWW they should have continued, i was really excited to hear about what type of tea Laurie was gonna have...the suspense was killing me HAHAHAHAHA!!! what a classic that story could have been, this thread has made my day
     
  7. Nov 20, 2003 #6

    FZ+

    User Avatar

    LMAO!!

    Any plans for a book? :wink:
     
  8. Nov 20, 2003 #7
    That is really good. Well done gary and Rebecca. A+!
     
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