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Something i must share before i go mad

  1. Jul 27, 2005 #1
    Something i must share before i go mad!!!!!

    Well today has been the most undignified day of my young(ish) life!

    This morning I had to go into hospital, as an out patient, for the first time (well technically the second if you include my birth but hen I wasn’t really an out patient).

    I underwent a procedure called a cystoscopy! Now for all you who are unfamiliar with this let me explain (oh if your male and squeamish you better stop reading now!)

    The procedure began with a nurse cleaning my genitalia, then the physician inserts a small plastic syringe into the tip of the penis :bugeye: and injects an anaesthetic gel to numb the area. Unpleasant but hey I could deal with that! Then the truly unpleasant part; they take a fiberoptic camera and put the whole bloody thing in!!!!! OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH :surprised (Why they use the gel I couldn’t work out, at the time!)
    [edit; I forgot to say the camera is approximately 5-8 mm in diameter double OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH :surprised :surprised ]
    They then proceed to fill your bladder with saline, now this is an unusual sensation but was kinda pleasant after the previous two shocks.

    The looking around the bladder part isn’t too bad, it scratches a little and did cause me to flinch now and again. Once the doc( :devil: ) had a good look he asked me if I minded if his junior doctor “could having a practice with the ‘scope”, “no not at all” I replied “after all this can’t get any more unpleasant”. Then I notice the junior doc, and my god she was soooooo fit :!!) I wished I could have crawled under a rock it stead of having one! (no I didn’t really get it up after all there was a camera impeding my ability! But under normal conditions ... i.e. a hot chick that close to that area! … :wink: )

    So there you have it, the removal of the camera wasn’t that bad, but the whole thing was very painful and embarrassing to boot.

    So off I trundle to post op were the nurse explains that for the next two days I must drink and obscene amount of fluid to flush the system out to prevent infection, so here I am sat at my pc writing this to get it off my chest and as I’m doing it the anaesthetic gel is starting to wear off, I now know why they used in the first place, having a piss is like peeing pure chilly oil!!! :cry: The pain is getting worst and it’s all I can do try and block it out!

    Sorry for dumping such an unpleasant story but it needs to be said for my own sanity!
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 27, 2005 #2
    Oh man, my condolences. :yuck: Hope you're up and feeling yourself again real soon. :wink:
  4. Jul 27, 2005 #3
    I'm sorry to hear that.

    But look on the bright side. At least you weren't diagnosed with something.
  5. Jul 27, 2005 #4


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    A delightful irony is that cystoscopy is one of those modern, much-hailed "non-invasive" procedures used in medicine..:biggrin:
  6. Jul 27, 2005 #5


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    Thanks for sharing that zanazzi, I think this board needs more such anecdotes to make others realise how much worse things could be!

    So, this junior doc eh......
  7. Jul 27, 2005 #6
    The mystery remains!

    I wish they had found something, the ruling out of a tear in the bladder increases the chance that the bleeding is caused by prostate cancer! but i`m looking on the bright side :smile:
  8. Jul 27, 2005 #7
    You know i`d like to meet the guy/gal that invented the camera used, for some reason he/she decided NOT to make it smooth!
  9. Jul 27, 2005 #8


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    Sorry, zanazzi. :frown: I've had hot doctors do embarrassing things to me, but I don't have the necessary equipment to really feel your pain.
    I hope you're up and feeling yourself again real soon too. :wink:
  10. Jul 27, 2005 #9


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    Well, since we are trying to look on our bright side and trying to add humor to all this, I just want to comment on one thing...

    Actually, you WERE an OUT patient during your birth! That's the whole point of your mother giving birth to you, to get you OUT! :)

    <OK, OK... insert groan here if you have to!>

    Last edited: Jul 27, 2005
  11. Jul 27, 2005 #10
    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

  12. Jul 27, 2005 #11


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    You should not be embarassed. Afterall, they are medical professionals.

    As for recovery, see if you can find "Cranberry juice", which is quite common in the US. It contains benzoates which a good for preventing infection.

    http://www.nutrimed.com/news_uti.html [Broken]

    I don't endorse the claims in the above site, but others (including my doctor) have confirmed the benefits of cranberry juice.

    Also see - Nutritional Benefits of Cranberry Juice
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2017
  13. Jul 27, 2005 #12


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    Oo, cranberry juice, yum!

    Get down to Tesco and buy a 4-pack of Ocean Spray, zan!
  14. Jul 27, 2005 #13
    I love cranbery juice if i could actually walk with out winching i may just do that
  15. Jul 27, 2005 #14


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    oooowwwwcccchhhh ! :eek:
  16. Jul 27, 2005 #15
    you were violated. sue.
  17. Jul 27, 2005 #16


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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Tsu :biggrin:
  18. Jul 27, 2005 #17
    aww sorry your in discomfort, and hope your test was negative.
  19. Jul 27, 2005 #18


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    I just found out I have a cytoscopy fetish. The saline part, oh so sexy.
  20. Jul 27, 2005 #19


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    Was the nurse as attractive as the junior doctor? That might just about make the experience worth it.

    I'm sorry to hear that :(
    Just as a heads up- I'm not sure some of the methods for diagnosing that are much better than what you went through. The phrase 'It felt like a bloody tree trunk up there' is one that I've heard before.
  21. Jul 27, 2005 #20
    I had one of those done when I was a kid. It was terrible.
    I think that ladies tend to go through at least as much on a regular basis when they go see the ObGyn.
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