I wished my parents were dead, asked god/allah(not sure who god is even at the mo) to kill them, shouted at god, told god i'll be worse than the devil towards him. Then i told god, sorry. I wanted to kill myself many times. Wondered what it would feel like dying. Wanting to runaway (had these thoughts since primary skl) I feel depressed 90% of time(think i suffer from depression). i don't go out with my friends, afraid to ask my parents if i can (btw im 18, parents treat me like a five year old), and i want to go. I feel like a prisoner at home. I wanted to go to bristol uni to study physics but my parents start all this rubbish talk about money problems etc, they simply don't listen, like they go deaf, they don't see i simply want! to go there, my choice, but i've accepted an offer now at cardiff(home) (didn't think of it at the time i should have just accepted bristol without telling them). If an argument is started between me and my parents i get so emotional i give in, i love them, their my parents, but i hate their guts out. Few friends i have think im abnormal, no suprise. only thing that keeps me the tiniest bit sane is that i love physics, so i keep pushing myself to get better at it and i hope things are going to get better someday, even that fails sometimes. am i just overdramatic? I feel so frustrated alot times too.