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Strange and humorous lyrics

  1. Sep 28, 2006 #1

    Ivan Seeking

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    Now here is a strange one from way back that I heard recently.

    Midnight At The Oasis

     
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 28, 2006 #2
    Sounds like someone was smoking hemp while writing this.
     
  4. Sep 28, 2006 #3
    Not hemp:


    ...................
     
  5. Sep 28, 2006 #4
    B-52s Lyrics

    Rock Lobster Lyrics



    We were at a party
    His ear lobe fell in the deep
    Someone reached in and grabbed it
    It was a rock lobster

    We were at the beach
    Everybody had matching towels
    Somebody went under a dock
    And there they saw a rock
    It wasn't a rock
    It was a rock lobster

    Motion in the ocean
    His air hose broke
    Lots of trouble
    Lots of bubble
    He was in a jam
    He's in a giant clam

    Down, down...

    Underneath the waves
    Mermaids wavin'
    Wavin' to mermen
    Wavin' sea fans
    Sea horses sailin'
    Dolphins wailin'

    Red snappers snappin'
    Clam shells clappin'
    Mussels flexin'
    Flippers flippin'

    Down, down...

    Let's rock!

    Boys in bikinis
    Girls in surfboards
    Everybody's rockin'
    Everybody's fruggin'

    Twistin' round the fire
    Havin' fun
    Bakin' potatoes
    Bakin' in the sun

    Put on your noseguard
    Put on the lifeguard
    Pass the tanning butter

    Here comes a stringray
    There goes a manta ray
    In walked a jelly fish
    There goes a dogfish
    Chased by a catfish
    In flew a sea robin
    Watch out for that pirahna
    There goes a narwhal
    Here comes a bikini whale!
     
  6. Sep 28, 2006 #5
    I just recently heard a song about a banana phone.

    Below from iLyrics.net



    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
    Banana phone
    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
    Banana phone

    I've got this feeling
    so appealing
    for us to get together and sing - SING!

    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
    Banana phone
    Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
    Donana phone

    It grows in bunches
    I've got my hunches
    Its the best
    beats the rest
    cellular modular
    interactivodular

    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
    Banana phone
    Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
    Ponana phone

    Its no baloney
    It aint a phony
    My cellular
    Bananular phone

    Don't need quarters
    don't need dimes
    to call a friend of mine
    dont need computer or tv
    to have a real good time
    I'll call for pizza
    I'll call my cat
    I'll call the whitehouse, have a chat
    I'll place a call around the world
    Operator get me beijing jing jing jing



    Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
    Banana phone
    Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying
    Yanana phone
    It's a real live mama and papa phone
    a brother and sister and a dogaphone
    a grandpa phone and a grandma phone too - oh yeah
    my cellular bananular phone

    Banana phone
    ring... ring... ring...
    Its a phone with appeal (a peel)

    Banana phone
    ring... ring... ring...
    Now you can have your phone and eat it too
    Banana phone
    ring... ring... ring...
    This song drives me .... bananas
    Banana phone
    ring... ring... ring...

    Bo ba do ba do do doob
     
  7. Sep 28, 2006 #6
    Banana Phone is classic. Also there's that Woo-ooh song. Which goes something like

    Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh ad infinitum.
     
  8. Oct 1, 2006 #7
    Canadians here will probably recognize these incomplete lyrics (and wince at them too) about a trucker hauling potatoes. Honest!

    It's Bud the Spud
    From the bright red mud,
    Rollin' down the highway smilin'.
    The spuds are big
    On the back o' Bud's rig,
    They're from Prince Edward Island,
    They're from Prince Edward Island.

    He hits Toronto at seven o'clock
    And backs 'er up against the terminal dock,
    And the boys gather round just to hear him talk
    About another big load o' potatoes.

    So when you see that big truck go rollin' by,
    Just wave your hand and kinda wink your eye,
    Cause that's Bud the Spud from old PEI
    With another big load o' potatoes.

    It's Bud the Spud
    From the bright red mud,
    Rollin' down the highway smilin'
    Cause he's got another big load
    O' the best doggone potatoes that's ever been growed,
    An' they're from Prince Edward Island,
    They're from Prince Edward Island...


    --Stompin' Tom Connors

    .............

    What? You mean you really liked that and want to hear more by Stompin' Tom? Okay, if you insist...


    Goodbye rubberhead, so long boob,
    Go and blow your inner tube.
    I've got a brand new sugar cube
    So goodbye rubberhead, so long boob.
     
  9. Oct 1, 2006 #8
    Sounds like Bud's livin' in his own private Idaho.
     
  10. Oct 1, 2006 #9

    Math Is Hard

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    Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance (x6)

    PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!
    PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!

    Cat, Im a titty tat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
    Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
    Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance (x2)

    I say sexy things to myself while i'm... Daaancing!
    I say sexy things to myself while I'm... Daaancing!

    PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!
    PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!

    Cat, im a pitty pat, and I boop boop boop beedee beep bop bop
    Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
    Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance
    Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
    Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance
     
  11. Oct 2, 2006 #10
  12. Oct 2, 2006 #11

    Math Is Hard

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    whoa! :bugeye: :eek:

    I think I am hallucinating. I could swear the smilies just moved.
     
  13. Oct 2, 2006 #12

    Ivan Seeking

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    Here's an odd one from the days of Dr D.

    Shaving Cream by Benny Bell

    I have a sad story to tell you.
    It may hurt your feelings a bit.
    last night, when I walked in my bathroom,
    I stepped in a pile of...
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
    Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

    I think I'll break up with my girlfriend.
    Her antics are queer, I'll admit.
    Each time I say "Darling, I love you,"
    She tells me that I'm full of...
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
    Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

    A baby fell out of the window.
    You'd think that her head would be split.
    But good luck was with her that morning.
    She fell in a barrel of...
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
    Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

    When I was in France with the Army,
    One day I looked into my kit.
    I thought I would find me a sandwich,
    But the darn thing was loaded with...
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
    Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

    And now, folks, my story is ended.
    I think it is time I should quit.
    If any of you feel offended,
    Stick your head in a barrel of...
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
    Shave every day, and you'll always look keen
     
  14. Oct 3, 2006 #13

    turbo

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    I remember this getting heavy air-play when I was a kid.

    From Lonnie Donegan and his Skiffle Group

    "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor (on the bepost overnight)"

    Oh-me, oh-my, oh-you
    Whatever shall I do
    Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
    I'd give a lot of dough
    If only I could know
    The answer to my question
    Is it yes or is it no

    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight
    If your mother says don't chew it
    Do you swallow it in spite
    Can you catch it on your tonsils
    Can you heave it left and right
    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight

    Here comes a blushing bride
    The groom is by her side
    Up to the altar
    As steady as Gibraltar
    Why, the groom has got the ring
    And it's such a pretty thing
    But as he slips it on her finger
    The choir begins to sing

    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight
    If your mother says don't chew it
    Do you swallow it in spite
    Can you catch it on your tonsils
    Can you heave it left and right
    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight

    Now the nation rise as one
    To send their only son
    Up to the White House
    Yes, the nation's only White House
    To voice their discontent
    Unto the Pres-I-dent
    They pawn the burning question
    What has swept this continent

    (Lonnie speaks)
    If tin whistles are made of tin
    What do they make fog horns out of
    Boom, boom

    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight
    If your mother says don't chew it
    Do you swallow it in spite
    Can you catch it on your tonsils
    Can you heave it left and right
    Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
    On the bedpost overnight

    On the bedpost overnight

    (Man)
    Hello there, I love you and the one who holds you tight

    (Lonnie)
    Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
    Thursday, Friday, Sat'day night

    On the bedpost overnight

    (Man)
    A dollar is a dollar and a dime is a dime

    (Lonnie)
    He's singin' out the chorus
    But he hasn't got the time

    On the bedpost overnight, yeah
     
  15. Oct 3, 2006 #14

    Math Is Hard

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    remember this one? I always thought it was weird...

    I rode my bicycle past your window last night
    I roller skated to your door at daylight
    It almost seems like you're avoiding me
    I'm okay alone, but you got something I need

    Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key
    I think that we should get together and try them out you see
    I been looking around awhile
    You got something for me
    Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key

    I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
    Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
    For somebody who don't drive
    I been all around the world
    Some people say, I done all right for a girl

    Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key
    I think that we should get together and try them out you see
    I been looking around awhile
    You got something for me
    Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key

    I asked your mother if you were at home
    She said, yes .. but you weren't alone
    Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
    I'm okay alone, but you've got something I need

    Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key
    I think that we should get together and try them out to see
    La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
    Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
    You got a brand new key
     
  16. Oct 3, 2006 #15

    Ivan Seeking

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    I always thought that song was dirty. :biggrin:

    Which brings to mind a question: What did happened to Angie Baby's lover?

    So now he lives in the radio and keeps her satisfied...how exactly? Does he get big [no pun intended] when she turns up the volume? :uhh:

    ...the radio people?
     
  17. Oct 3, 2006 #16

    turbo

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    That was Melanie Ronstadt (I think she had a sister...:uhh:), and I saw her in concert just after that song came out. There was a heavy snowstorm, and the trucks with the lights and sound system never showed up, so we all had to sit very quietly while that sweet girl sang her guts out. What a trooper!
     
  18. Oct 3, 2006 #17
    Anyone remember this;

    by Kip Addotta

    Lyrics:

    It was April the forty-first
    Being a quadruple leap year
    I was driving in downtown Atlantis
    My barracuda was in the shop
    So I was in a rented stingray
    And it was overheating

    So I pulled into a Shell Station
    They said I'd blown a seal
    I said, "Fix the damn thing
    And leave my private life out of it
    Okay pal?"

    While they were doing that
    I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
    But I knew the owner
    He used to play for the Dolphins
    I said "Hi Gil"
    You have to yell, he's hard of herring

    Think I had a wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
    Wet dream

    Gil was also down on his luck
    Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
    I bellied up to the sandbar
    He poured me the usual

    Rusty snail, hold the grunion
    Shaken not stirred
    With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
    Heavy on the mako

    I slipped him a fin
    On porpoise
    I was feeling good
    I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
    For the halibut

    Well the place was crowded
    We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
    What sole

    Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
    Salmon Chanted Evening
    And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
    Probably there to see the bass player

    One of them was this cute little yellowtail
    And she's giving me the eye
    So I figured this is my chance for a little fun
    You know, piece of Pisces

    But she said things I just couldn't fathom
    She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
    Boy, could she drink
    She drank like a . . .
    She drank a lot

    I said "What's your sign"
    She said "Aquarium"
    I said "Great, let's get tanked"

    Think I had a wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
    Wet dream

    I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
    I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
    She threw me that same old line
    "Not tonight, I gotta haddock"

    And she wasn't kidding either
    Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
    I'd ever seen come down the pike
    He was covered with mussels

    He came over to me and said
    "Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
    What a crab
    This guy was steamed
    I could see the anchor in his eyes

    I turned to him, I said
    "A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
    Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
    ‘Cause he was already on the phone to the cods

    The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
    I catch him with a left hook
    He eels over
    It was a fluke but there he was
    Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
    Kelpless

    I said "Forget the cods Gil
    This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
    Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
    She came over to me, she said
    "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish
    What's your name"
    I said "Marlin"

    Think I had a wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
    Wet dream

    Well, from then on we had a whale of a time
    I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
    I bought her a bouquet of flounders
    And then I went home with her
    And what did I get for my trouble
    A case of the clams

    Think I had a wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

    Wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

    Wet dream
    Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
    Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
     
  19. Oct 5, 2006 #18
    I got the reference to Idaho but had to look up "his own private Idaho", and I'm sure Stopin' Tom would be doubly incensed. He's pure Canadian redneck. ("C-A, N-A, D-A...")
     
  20. Oct 5, 2006 #19
    I'm not sure what you came up with. I was referencing the B-52's song:

    'You're living in your own Private Idaho
    Living in your own Private Idaho
    Underground like a wild potato."

    Which I take to refer to living inside a small, safe, insulated mental state. It seemed to fit the guy whose whole world seemed to consist of trucking potatos around:

    " He hits Toronto at seven o'clock
    And backs 'er up against the terminal dock,
    And the boys gather round just to hear him talk
    About another big load o' potatoes."
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2006
  21. Oct 5, 2006 #20
    A classmate I had in high school pointed these lyrics out to me and expained them. This was the 1960's and I was fresh out of Catholic grade school, so I didn't believe him. I didn't think anyone in authority would let someone slip a hidden meaning like that into a song.
     
  22. Oct 5, 2006 #21

    Evo

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    :grumpy: :devil:

    Anyway, an old favorite

    Three little fishies

    Down in the meadow in an itty bitty pool
    Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too
    Swim, said the mama fishie, Swim if you can
    And they swam and they swam all over the dam

    Chorus:
    Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!
    Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!.
    Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!
    And they swam and they swam all over the dam

    Stop! said the mama fishie, or you will get lost
    The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed
    The three little fishies went off on a spree
    And they swam and they swam right out to the sea

    Repeat Chorus
    And they swam and they swam right out to the sea

    Whee! yelled the little fishies. Here's a lot of fun
    We'll swim in the sea till the day is done
    They swam and they swam, and it was a lark
    Till all of a sudden they saw a shark

    Repeat Chorus
    Till all of a sudden they saw a shark

    Help! cried the little fishies, Look at all the whales!
    And quick as they could they turned on their tails
    And back to the pool in the meadow they swam
    And they swam and they swam back over the dam

    Repeat Chorus
    And they swam and they swam back over the dam
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2006
  23. Oct 5, 2006 #22

    Chi Meson

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    Plastic Palace People
    by Scott Walker

    Over the rooftop sails Billy
    A string tied to his underwear
    Through cobbled stone streets a child races
    And shouts "Billy, come down from there"

    "My mother's calling" his voice whimpers
    A string clutched in his tiny hand
    Not till I've seen the sky's not lit up
    In tears, child try and understand
    Don't pull the string, Don't bring me down
    Don't make me land

    Plastic palace people
    Sing silent songs, they dream too long
    Their memories just stare
    Plastic palace Alice
    She steals her cards tomorrow deals
    With deafening despair

    Hurry, you've got to get in line
    Your nose might start to shine
    And sweat it out and dance about
    The whole eternal life

    A harvest of stars surrounds Billy
    The night clings to his happy eyes
    A sleeping town square beneath a fountain
    A child murmurs a weary sigh
    My mother weeps, And weaves her hair
    With worries please, Come down from there

    Plastic palace people
    Through fields of clay and granite grey
    They play without a sound
    Plastic palace Alice
    Blows gaping holes to store her fears
    Inside her lovers head

    Listen, they're laughing in the halls
    They rip your face with lies
    To buzzing eyes you cry for help
    Like gods they bark replies

    Over the rooftops burns Billy
    Balloon sadly the string descends
    Searching its way down through blue submarine air
    The polka dot underwear
    To meet the trees, In morning square
    Just hanging there, Just hanging there
     
  24. Oct 5, 2006 #23

    Ivan Seeking

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    I'm My Own Grandpa
    Guy Lombardo

    Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
    I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
    This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
    My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

    Oh I'm my own grandpa
    I'm my own granpa
    It sounds funny I know,
    But it really is so
    Oh I'm my own grandpa

    This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
    My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
    To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
    I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

    My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
    And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
    For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther
    Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

    Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
    And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
    My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
    Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

    Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
    And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
    For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw
    As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
     
  25. Oct 6, 2006 #24

    rcgldr

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    I'll spare the pain of the full lyrics of these funk / disco songs. For you old ex-disco dancers you might remember some of these:

    Sun - Wanna Make Love - chorus:
    Come light my fire. Come flick my bic.

    Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance - chorus
    Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

    George Clinton (Parliment) - Atomic Dog
    Why must I feel like that
    Why must I chase the cat
    Nothin' but the dog in me
    Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
    Bow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah

    Lakeside - later covered by Coolio - Fantastic Voyage
    Come along and ride on a fantasic voyage
    slide slide slippity-slide
    with switches on the block in a '65
    Come along and ride on a fantasic voyage
    slide slide who-ride
    ain't no valley low enough for mountain high
     
  26. Oct 6, 2006 #25

    rcgldr

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    Ok strange lyrics now:

    Beck - New Pollution:
    She's got cigarette on each arm
    She's got the lily-white cavity crazes
    She's got a carburetor tied to the moon
    Pink eyes looking to the food of the ages

    She's in love with the new pollution
    She's alone in a new dilusion

    She's got a hand on a wheel of pain
    She can talk to the mangling strangers
    She can sleep in a fiery bog
    Throwing troubles to the dying embers

    She's in love with the new pollution
    She's alone in a new dilusion
    She's in love with the new pollution
    She's alone in a new dilusion

    She's got a paradise camouflage
    Like a whip-crack sending me shivers
    She's the boat in a strip mine ocean
    Riding low on the drunken rivers

    Miss Jane - It's a fine day (many versions of this dance song)
    It’s a fine day
    People open windows
    They leave their houses
    Just want a short walk
    Its going to be a fine nite tonite
    Its going to be a fine day tomorrow
     
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