Strange and humorous lyrics

  • #1
Ivan Seeking
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Main Question or Discussion Point

Now here is a strange one from way back that I heard recently.

Midnight At The Oasis

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows paintin' our faces
Traces of romance in our heads
Heaven's holdin' a half-moon
Shinin' just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon
And kick up a little dust
Come on, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on, till the evenin' ends
Till the evenin' ends
You don't have to answer
There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, prancer
And you can be my sheik
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Sounds like someone was smoking hemp while writing this.
 
  • #3
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Gelsamel Epsilon said:
Sounds like someone was smoking hemp while writing this.
Not hemp:

Cactus is our friend.

...................
 
  • #4
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B-52s Lyrics

Rock Lobster Lyrics



We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
He's in a giant clam

Down, down...

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Mussels flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down...

Let's rock!

Boys in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stringray
There goes a manta ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dogfish
Chased by a catfish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that pirahna
There goes a narwhal
Here comes a bikini whale!
 
  • #5
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2
I just recently heard a song about a banana phone.

Below from iLyrics.net



Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone

I've got this feeling
so appealing
for us to get together and sing - SING!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
Donana phone

It grows in bunches
I've got my hunches
Its the best
beats the rest
cellular modular
interactivodular

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
Ponana phone

Its no baloney
It aint a phony
My cellular
Bananular phone

Don't need quarters
don't need dimes
to call a friend of mine
dont need computer or tv
to have a real good time
I'll call for pizza
I'll call my cat
I'll call the whitehouse, have a chat
I'll place a call around the world
Operator get me beijing jing jing jing



Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying
Yanana phone
It's a real live mama and papa phone
a brother and sister and a dogaphone
a grandpa phone and a grandma phone too - oh yeah
my cellular bananular phone

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Its a phone with appeal (a peel)

Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Now you can have your phone and eat it too
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
This song drives me .... bananas
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...

Bo ba do ba do do doob
 
  • #6
Banana Phone is classic. Also there's that Woo-ooh song. Which goes something like

Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh Woo-ooh woo-oo-ooh ad infinitum.
 
  • #7
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0
Canadians here will probably recognize these incomplete lyrics (and wince at them too) about a trucker hauling potatoes. Honest!

It's Bud the Spud
From the bright red mud,
Rollin' down the highway smilin'.
The spuds are big
On the back o' Bud's rig,
They're from Prince Edward Island,
They're from Prince Edward Island.

He hits Toronto at seven o'clock
And backs 'er up against the terminal dock,
And the boys gather round just to hear him talk
About another big load o' potatoes.

So when you see that big truck go rollin' by,
Just wave your hand and kinda wink your eye,
Cause that's Bud the Spud from old PEI
With another big load o' potatoes.

It's Bud the Spud
From the bright red mud,
Rollin' down the highway smilin'
Cause he's got another big load
O' the best doggone potatoes that's ever been growed,
An' they're from Prince Edward Island,
They're from Prince Edward Island...


--Stompin' Tom Connors

.............

What? You mean you really liked that and want to hear more by Stompin' Tom? Okay, if you insist...


Goodbye rubberhead, so long boob,
Go and blow your inner tube.
I've got a brand new sugar cube
So goodbye rubberhead, so long boob.
 
  • #8
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Sounds like Bud's livin' in his own private Idaho.
 
  • #9
Math Is Hard
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Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance (x6)

PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!
PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!

Cat, Im a titty tat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance (x2)

I say sexy things to myself while i'm... Daaancing!
I say sexy things to myself while I'm... Daaancing!

PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!
PURR-OVOCOTIVE POSING!

Cat, im a pitty pat, and I boop boop boop beedee beep bop bop
Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance
Cat, Im a kitty cat, and I ,meow meow meow, and I meow meow meow
Cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance
 
  • #10
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  • #11
Math Is Hard
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zoobyshoe said:
I wondered if you wrote those lyrics yourself, Math, so I did some googling.

http://g-shack.com/g-shack media.htm

Do you see what's swimming all over the top of that page?
whoa! :bugeye: :eek:

I think I am hallucinating. I could swear the smilies just moved.
 
  • #12
Ivan Seeking
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Here's an odd one from the days of Dr D.

Shaving Cream by Benny Bell

I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
last night, when I walked in my bathroom,
I stepped in a pile of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

I think I'll break up with my girlfriend.
Her antics are queer, I'll admit.
Each time I say "Darling, I love you,"
She tells me that I'm full of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

A baby fell out of the window.
You'd think that her head would be split.
But good luck was with her that morning.
She fell in a barrel of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

When I was in France with the Army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

And now, folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen
 
  • #13
turbo
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I remember this getting heavy air-play when I was a kid.

From Lonnie Donegan and his Skiffle Group

"Does your chewing gum lose its flavor (on the bepost overnight)"

Oh-me, oh-my, oh-you
Whatever shall I do
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I'd give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question
Is it yes or is it no

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight
If your mother says don't chew it
Do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight

Here comes a blushing bride
The groom is by her side
Up to the altar
As steady as Gibraltar
Why, the groom has got the ring
And it's such a pretty thing
But as he slips it on her finger
The choir begins to sing

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight
If your mother says don't chew it
Do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight

Now the nation rise as one
To send their only son
Up to the White House
Yes, the nation's only White House
To voice their discontent
Unto the Pres-I-dent
They pawn the burning question
What has swept this continent

(Lonnie speaks)
If tin whistles are made of tin
What do they make fog horns out of
Boom, boom

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight
If your mother says don't chew it
Do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight

On the bedpost overnight

(Man)
Hello there, I love you and the one who holds you tight

(Lonnie)
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Thursday, Friday, Sat'day night

On the bedpost overnight

(Man)
A dollar is a dollar and a dime is a dime

(Lonnie)
He's singin' out the chorus
But he hasn't got the time

On the bedpost overnight, yeah
 
  • #14
Math Is Hard
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remember this one? I always thought it was weird...

I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don't drive
I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I asked your mother if you were at home
She said, yes .. but you weren't alone
Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you've got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
 
  • #15
Ivan Seeking
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I always thought that song was dirty. :biggrin:

Which brings to mind a question: What did happened to Angie Baby's lover?

You live your life in the songs you hear
On the rock and roll radio
And when a young girl doesn't have any friends
That's a really nice place to go
Folks hoping you'd turn out cool
But they had to take you outta school
You're a little touched you know, Angie Baby

Lovers appear in your room each night
And they whirl you across the floor
But they always seem to fade away
When your daddy taps on your door
Angie girl, are you all right
Tell the radio good-night
All alone once more, Angie Baby

Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe

Stopping at her house is a neighbor boy
With evil on his mind
'Cause he's been peeking in Angie's room
At night through her window blind
I see your folks have gone away
Would you dance with me today
I'll show you how to have a good time, Angie Baby

When he walks in her room,
He feels confused like he's walked into a play
And the music's so loud it spins him around
'Til his soul has lost its way
And as she turns the volume down
He's getting smaller with the sound
It seems to pull him off the ground
Toward the radio he's bound never to be found

The headlines read that a boy disappeared
and everyone thinks he died
'Cept a crazy girl with a secret lover
Who keeps her satisfied
It's so nice to be insane
No one asks you to explain
Radio by your side, Angie Baby

Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe
Well, maybe
So now he lives in the radio and keeps her satisfied...how exactly? Does he get big [no pun intended] when she turns up the volume? :uhh:

...the radio people?
 
  • #16
turbo
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Math Is Hard said:
remember this one? I always thought it was weird...

I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need...
That was Melanie Ronstadt (I think she had a sister...:uhh:), and I saw her in concert just after that song came out. There was a heavy snowstorm, and the trucks with the lights and sound system never showed up, so we all had to sit very quietly while that sweet girl sang her guts out. What a trooper!
 
  • #17
Skyhunter
Anyone remember this;

by Kip Addotta

Lyrics:

It was April the forty-first
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray
And it was overheating

So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"

While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi Gil"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar
He poured me the usual

Rusty snail, hold the grunion
Shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
Heavy on the mako

I slipped him a fin
On porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
For the halibut

Well the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole

Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
Salmon Chanted Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving me the eye
So I figured this is my chance for a little fun
You know, piece of Pisces

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a . . .
She drank a lot

I said "What's your sign"
She said "Aquarium"
I said "Great, let's get tanked"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I gotta haddock"

And she wasn't kidding either
Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels

He came over to me and said
"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him, I said
"A-balone, you're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
‘Cause he was already on the phone to the cods

The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke but there he was
Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless

I said "Forget the cods Gil
This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said
"Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish
What's your name"
I said "Marlin"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Wet dream

Well, from then on we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble
A case of the clams

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
 
  • #18
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zoobyshoe said:
Sounds like Bud's livin' in his own private Idaho.
I got the reference to Idaho but had to look up "his own private Idaho", and I'm sure Stopin' Tom would be doubly incensed. He's pure Canadian redneck. ("C-A, N-A, D-A...")
 
  • #19
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Tojen said:
I got the reference to Idaho but had to look up "his own private Idaho", and I'm sure Stopin' Tom would be doubly incensed. He's pure Canadian redneck. ("C-A, N-A, D-A...")
I'm not sure what you came up with. I was referencing the B-52's song:

'You're living in your own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato."

Which I take to refer to living inside a small, safe, insulated mental state. It seemed to fit the guy whose whole world seemed to consist of trucking potatos around:

" He hits Toronto at seven o'clock
And backs 'er up against the terminal dock,
And the boys gather round just to hear him talk
About another big load o' potatoes."
 
Last edited:
  • #20
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Math Is Hard said:
remember this one? I always thought it was weird...

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
A classmate I had in high school pointed these lyrics out to me and expained them. This was the 1960's and I was fresh out of Catholic grade school, so I didn't believe him. I didn't think anyone in authority would let someone slip a hidden meaning like that into a song.
 
  • #21
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Math Is Hard said:
whoa! :bugeye: :eek:

I think I am hallucinating. I could swear the smilies just moved.
:grumpy: :devil:

Anyway, an old favorite

Three little fishies

Down in the meadow in an itty bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too
Swim, said the mama fishie, Swim if you can
And they swam and they swam all over the dam

Chorus:
Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!
Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!.
Boop boop dittern dattem whattem .... Chu!
And they swam and they swam all over the dam

Stop! said the mama fishie, or you will get lost
The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed
The three little fishies went off on a spree
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea

Repeat Chorus
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea

Whee! yelled the little fishies. Here's a lot of fun
We'll swim in the sea till the day is done
They swam and they swam, and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark

Repeat Chorus
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark

Help! cried the little fishies, Look at all the whales!
And quick as they could they turned on their tails
And back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam

Repeat Chorus
And they swam and they swam back over the dam
 
Last edited:
  • #22
Chi Meson
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Plastic Palace People
by Scott Walker

Over the rooftop sails Billy
A string tied to his underwear
Through cobbled stone streets a child races
And shouts "Billy, come down from there"

"My mother's calling" his voice whimpers
A string clutched in his tiny hand
Not till I've seen the sky's not lit up
In tears, child try and understand
Don't pull the string, Don't bring me down
Don't make me land

Plastic palace people
Sing silent songs, they dream too long
Their memories just stare
Plastic palace Alice
She steals her cards tomorrow deals
With deafening despair

Hurry, you've got to get in line
Your nose might start to shine
And sweat it out and dance about
The whole eternal life

A harvest of stars surrounds Billy
The night clings to his happy eyes
A sleeping town square beneath a fountain
A child murmurs a weary sigh
My mother weeps, And weaves her hair
With worries please, Come down from there

Plastic palace people
Through fields of clay and granite grey
They play without a sound
Plastic palace Alice
Blows gaping holes to store her fears
Inside her lovers head

Listen, they're laughing in the halls
They rip your face with lies
To buzzing eyes you cry for help
Like gods they bark replies

Over the rooftops burns Billy
Balloon sadly the string descends
Searching its way down through blue submarine air
The polka dot underwear
To meet the trees, In morning square
Just hanging there, Just hanging there
 
  • #23
Ivan Seeking
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I'm My Own Grandpa
Guy Lombardo

Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

Oh I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own granpa
It sounds funny I know,
But it really is so
Oh I'm my own grandpa

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
 
  • #24
rcgldr
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I'll spare the pain of the full lyrics of these funk / disco songs. For you old ex-disco dancers you might remember some of these:

Sun - Wanna Make Love - chorus:
Come light my fire. Come flick my bic.

Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance - chorus
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

George Clinton (Parliment) - Atomic Dog
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Nothin' but the dog in me
Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
Bow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah

Lakeside - later covered by Coolio - Fantastic Voyage
Come along and ride on a fantasic voyage
slide slide slippity-slide
with switches on the block in a '65
Come along and ride on a fantasic voyage
slide slide who-ride
ain't no valley low enough for mountain high
 
  • #25
rcgldr
Homework Helper
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Ok strange lyrics now:

Beck - New Pollution:
She's got cigarette on each arm
She's got the lily-white cavity crazes
She's got a carburetor tied to the moon
Pink eyes looking to the food of the ages

She's in love with the new pollution
She's alone in a new dilusion

She's got a hand on a wheel of pain
She can talk to the mangling strangers
She can sleep in a fiery bog
Throwing troubles to the dying embers

She's in love with the new pollution
She's alone in a new dilusion
She's in love with the new pollution
She's alone in a new dilusion

She's got a paradise camouflage
Like a whip-crack sending me shivers
She's the boat in a strip mine ocean
Riding low on the drunken rivers

Miss Jane - It's a fine day (many versions of this dance song)
It’s a fine day
People open windows
They leave their houses
Just want a short walk
Its going to be a fine nite tonite
Its going to be a fine day tomorrow
 

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