Stupid things

That's like warning someone not to immerse a bar of soap in water.

 

Warning: immersing this soap in water may lead to a slipping hazard and may also lead to a diminishing of the size of the bar. The manufacturer hereby absolves itself of all responsibility for accidents and losses of volume caused by using this product when wet.

 

I have a lighter with a sticker right on the side of it that warns:
EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE. Do not use near fire or flame.

:rofl: I love sharing that one.

 

I know it is stupid, but I bet that stems from a dust explosion somewhere due to a spark caused by an electric motor.

Aren't product liability lawyers funny?

 

I know flour will explode, but will wood dust really do the same?

 

How come in Canada we don't get so many stupid warnings?

I'd like a laugh once in awhile too.

 

I liked the anti-theft warnings they put on vending machines for a while. The one with the picture of the vending machine falling on the person.

I used to jump out of the way in terror every time the machine stole a quarter from me.

 

The coffee machine at work has warnings on the cups saying "Contents may be hot!"

Another one that tickled me was one at a salt marsh I surveyed-

WARNING! SAND DUNES CAN KILL!"

 

You don't have our lawyers :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

It's pretty funny to think about all these things but they probably have these stupid warnings because someone actually tried to sue them for it. Like that one idiot who sued McDonalds because her coffee was too hot.

 

Whatever happened to that guy who glued himself to a toilet seat and was suing Home Depot?

 

He's currently duct taped to the ceiling of Nebraska Furniture Mart trying to yell for help. Letting the duct tape be applied over his mouth may have been a tactical error, but it should still be a decent lawsuit once someone notices him.

How about warning labels on irons: "Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them." This is interesting on several fronts.

John Smoltz of the Atlanta Braves wound up on the disabled list due to an ironing injury. The part about him wearing the clothes might be an embellishment added by his team mates - in any event, that's not a subject many reporters like to bring up.

Cal Ripken's team mates described the difference between Smotz and Ripken as: "It's not that Cal would never iron his clothes while wearing them, it's just that he would carefully analyze the situation and figure out a way to do it without injuring himself."

The biggest question this brings up, though, is, "Does this mean it's not safe to iron your hair while it's still on your head?" (In the sixties/seventies, it was fashionable for girls to have long, perfectly straight, limp hair.)

 

I have a set of Korean cooking knives, which say explicitly,

KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

 

I have a crazy aunt who used to do that. Of course, when she accidentally pressed it up against her skin and burnt herself, she didn't try suing the iron manufacturer for her own stupidity. I've done it for skirts, where you can hold the fabric out away from your body, when I've been in a hurry and realized I had too many wrinkles after putting the skirt on. I've since learned to just hang the clothes I'm going to wear in the bathroom while I'm showering so the steam works out any pesky wrinkles I missed.

 

That's hilarious! That's got to be the best Asian-written product warning I've ever read!

 

That's the usual opinion of this case. I had it too until I was at a party and ran into someone who knew someone who worked in the lawfirm that handled that case and was convinced it wasn't as frivolous or silly as the media and spoofs would have us believe. If you're not swayed by my convincing "cousins, roomates, uncles, dog sitters, fathers" testimony, you can read the "McFacts" here:

http://lawandhelp.com/q298-2.htm [Broken]

and what appears to be the lenghtier Wall Street journal article the above vaguely references:

http://www.vanosteen.com/mcdonalds-coffee-lawsuit.htm [Broken]

 

My god shmoe, that's...

*shrugs in the general direction of America*