# Success Demands what?

1. May 11, 2005

### ambuj123

Hello
Well i was preparing for prestigious exam in india where only 1.5 % students appearing are selected i had never enjoyed academic success during my entire life but i worked as hard as i could during past 2 years working 7-8 hours a day even left my love my laptop i was very motivated i wanted to get through.I dreamt slept ate thinking and visualizing success in the exam
Throughout my life i always felt i had talent and capabilities more than others but could not exploit it which caused frustration my grades were always average. Though i was good in computers learnt c++ when i was 13 mastered java at 15 and became linux fanatic which i am till now.all this caused me to suffer from serious hypertension(AVergae BP 145/95)

during my 2 years preparation in last few months when i was clinically depressed.my preparation werent good. i lost hope in last few months ( i dont know why) i started losing hope gradually as d day approached i gave up.and could not put my mind to study during last few months which were most critical negative thoughts instead of positive ones dominated my mind.
my family is somehwhat supportive not entirely as they have started suspecting my abilities and my claims that i am good which i believe i am still now .
i am facing tough time convincing them
now i am going to prepare for one more year how can i remain motivated after my past failure when i was 100 % sure of my success.
i have started doubting my own abilities i have started feeling that no amount of hardwork can get me through. i am sick useless crap
Still i have hope left but light within me is fading
what should i do?

Last edited: May 11, 2005
2. May 11, 2005

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Last edited: May 11, 2005
3. May 11, 2005

### juvenal

I don't want to be a jerk - but haven't you posted this same sort of thing a few times in this forum? You're going to get the same advice once again, most of it largely useless.

You need medical attention, as I recommended the last time you posted.

4. May 11, 2005

### mathwonk

i recommend reading the biography of sri ramakrishna.

remember that you are a child of god, as such we are all equal, and too much pursuit of worldly "success" is not healthy for body or spirit.

if a competent medical or psychological professional is available, that might help too.

good luck, and best wishes.

5. May 11, 2005

### Gale

first, stop stressing out so much. I'm not sure how old you are... i'm guessing late teens? i'm not sure... you didn't say... Anyways, you don't seem very old, and hypertension is a very serious issue, especially if its entirely stress induced. your body is obviously telling you something... CHILL OUT. everyone wants to suceed and be succesful, but how far will you get if you die of a heart attack at 23? take care of yourself boy!

i suggest you pick up running... go for a jog everyday... relax your mind, and take care of your body. Maybe yoga or even just breathing excersizes will also help. Seriously, if you're a smart guy, be confident about that, be confident that you will find someway to suceed, and if things don't go quite right at first, don't worry about it... cause eventually they'll work out. in the meanwhile take care of yourself... you've only got this one life.. enjoy it! if you get worked up about things now... imagine when you're in the work force. Things don't get magically more simple because you did well on a test. don't set yourself up so that you have to struggle and stress and be miserable for your entire life... (or until you finally decide to take control of things at least..)

at any rate, you aren't useless, and you will get through. you have hope, and that's wonderful! depression is really hard... i know... i also know what its like to have a not-entirely-supportive family... but its your life... YOUR life... live it NOW. take it easy friend... take care of your body... really. relax... learn to juggle or card tricks or something... it helps..

6. May 11, 2005

### juvenal

http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/teens.htm

7. May 11, 2005

Okay, I am sorry, someone just also told me, I am really sorry about that...

8. May 11, 2005

### juvenal

I was not talking to you Sadmemo, but the OP. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

9. May 11, 2005

### ambuj123

Extremely sorry if my recent post had similar elements as some of my previous post in this section of forum but when you are depressed you seek help again and again and i find internet and especially physicsforum as best place to solve my problem.
Any further suggestion would be welcome
I had more than 80 % of symptoms of depression so i am going to search for doctor/Psychatrist from tommorow in morning
thanx all who took time to write some encouraging words

10. May 11, 2005

### amb123

Physicsforum != Psychological help forum.

I have been depressed, thought i'd go nowhere in life for a long time. I know the feeling. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing will be handed to you, so if you want something you need to go after it. Some "God/Jesus/insertwhateverhere" is not going to help you, you gotta help yourself. If you feel you can't handle the stress, maybe you can't.... if that is the case, stop stressing, take a break.. get a job for a while, forget school. You can go back to it when your mind is healthy and ready. I dropped out at 15 years old, started working, got better jobs, etc, until I was making ends meet without problems, enjoying a life of skydiving and reef keeping and living on my own:) Went back to school at 21 and 3 years later I am reaping the rewards! I'm transferring to an excellent school in the Fall, moving across the country with the person I love and experiencing what life has to offer. This wasn't handed to me, I worked for it... but not from the time I was born! I'm glad I lived a little first. I know what it's like to have nothing, to come up from depression, to make it on my own... these are things you don't learn in books and you will be a better person for conquering your demons.

Take a breath, chill out... maybe right now is not your time. Come back to it when your mind is well. If you truly feel like you need professional help, then get it. This is not the place, though.

Best of luck to you. Many have been there, you're not alone.
-A

11. May 11, 2005

### mathwonk

it was helpful to me just to rise early and bathe and look at the sunrise, and realize everything is going on as for thousands of years with no interruption, or problem.

sometimes medication helps too, as depression is partly a chemical imbalance in the brain, causing feelings of sadness.

but i agree our advice is only amateurs talking of their own experience. we are not professionals.

but some of us have been there and returned.

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12. May 12, 2005

### monet A

To start with you don't need to convince anyone to believe in you, this is not the answer to not believing in yourself.

You will have more positive results if you find someone to talk to who can understand and knows of ways to cope with your specific difficulties.

What you can do for yourself in the here and now is remain hopeful that you will find your way and enjoy some small simple pleasures in life. The grind can wait a few minutes while you have a laugh, crack a smile and prepare to meet your challenges.

13. May 12, 2005

### Dr.Brain

Hey Ambuj ..I am an Indian student.

ALL YOU PEOPLE OUTSIDE INDIA , I ASSURE YOU THAT IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A GOOD SCIENCE EXAM IN INDIA MAINLY---> IITJEE AND AIEEE , not even .01% of those present on this physics forum would clear them.Its that tough.

In IITJEE 4000 outof 200000 get selected and i can assure you out of those 200000 about 100000 have gone through a rigorous training of two years and some 50000 will be trying for the second time.Its an exam where an intelligent mind will have about 30% success chance.

The second exam is AIEEE , in which 400000 (double of previous) students take it and only top 6% get good seats and rest are those like AMBUJ(the poster of this thread) who are good students but they stress their ass out.

So In india where exams choose about 5% of the students appearing,its damn tough.I couldnot clear IITJEE even though I was getting an ALL INDIAN PERCENTILE OF 85% IN MY PRACTICE TESTS.I got into top 7% students in AIEEE and will probably get a good state engineering college.BUT ITS DAMN TOUGH HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

14. May 12, 2005

### ambuj123

For Hypertension my doctor advised me to go out do some exercises ,jog play outdoor games since i am 18 only and control my weight(Trying Lost 5 kilos in a month) but my main problem is during my past two years i studied during night and my body clock has now started functioning according to my new time table i dont get sleep before 4 ' oclock in morning and sleep all day upto 2-3 in afternoon so i am unable to get time for exercises . i have tried changing time numerous times but fail miserably unable to sleep in night feel tired in day if i dont sleep.
There are numerous factors that is causing stress
Has anyone suffered like this when body clock is changed instead of sleeping in night you sleep in day and wake up all night like owl. if yes how can i change it please advice?
Thank You all
I really feel seeing the response that people at physicsforums care.

15. May 12, 2005

### kdinser

Not trying to be harsh here or anything, but it amazes me how many people set themselves up for total disappointment.

If your talking about something where 400000 smart people study really hard and take a test and only 6% pass, how can you possibly be surprised if you don't pass? If you only end up in the top 30%, your still a hell of a lot smarter then most people.

This is the same as applying to MIT with perfect grades and being surprised to get rejected, guess what, so did most of the other people.

16. May 12, 2005

### exequor

Have you used Columbia's finiest. As a coder that's what I used to keep me up for hours, only getting < 6 hours sleep a night. Plus I have maths and physics and I have to stay up late for those sometimes. The thing is the lack of sleep made me ill.

Get a PS2 to relax, play some pool. It's only recently I've learned the true value of excercise.

India does seem to be rigorous. Last night I was listening BBC and they were predicting that in 10 years or so the IT industry may be run by y'all.

17. May 12, 2005

### The Rev

I suffer from depression too, and I find the best things to mitigate the symptoms are eating right, getting enough sleep, and regular exercise. This is especially helpful with irritability. I've also taken anti-depressants, and they can really help.

Also, from what I know about tests of this kind in India, you're under ALOT of pressure, and that can wear down on a person. You've been working 7-8 hours a day preparing, and it sounds like this test is ALWAYS on your mind. That kind of pressure can stimulate alot of self-doubt, as well as tire you out. Both results feed depression.

Get some help, and go a little easier on yourself. After all, if you don't pass this big test, you could probably still get into MIT.

Good luck.

$$\phi$$

The Rev

18. May 12, 2005

### mathwonk

when i was in grad school i had a wife and first one, then two chidren, and stayed up to play with the older one, then studied, and still got up every morning at dawn to run 4 miles, and then do "poojah". that was all the exercise i got, but it was more than others did.

when no time seemed available for rigorous exercise i did simple hatha yoga, sitting stretching, and so, on. good hatha books existed costing about one dollar.

i practiced vegetarianism to save money and (i thought) in order to require less sleep than needed for digesting heavier food.

candle meditation is good too, for clearing and focusing the mind, (tratak). and nostril yoga (swar yoga).

just chanting or singing, or giving praise for good things in life is nice. most of us are pretty blessed, and spend our energies trying to achieve things that are not strictly necessary.

these days i enjoy sitting on my porch and watching the beautiful foliage.

as many people here are saying, good advice is to stay healthy.

ancient wisdom is to practice moderation in all things.

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19. May 13, 2005

### monet A

Yes ambuj, I get this all the time late night studying, and because I have to get up early to take my kids to school I just make my body clock worse beause I want to sleep more in the day afterward. The one this I figure works best for me is to slowly wake up a little earlier each day, I do this when my kids are on school holidays in the last few days of their holidays I start to wake up a half hour ealier and stay alert until I am as tired as I can be at late night.

There is one thing I have to remember all the time though, because it bothers me a lot sometimes and it is not always the best way to live, I have to remember to forgive myself.