Hello Well i was preparing for prestigious exam in india where only 1.5 % students appearing are selected i had never enjoyed academic success during my entire life but i worked as hard as i could during past 2 years working 7-8 hours a day even left my love my laptop i was very motivated i wanted to get through.I dreamt slept ate thinking and visualizing success in the exam Throughout my life i always felt i had talent and capabilities more than others but could not exploit it which caused frustration my grades were always average. Though i was good in computers learnt c++ when i was 13 mastered java at 15 and became linux fanatic which i am till now.all this caused me to suffer from serious hypertension(AVergae BP 145/95) during my 2 years preparation in last few months when i was clinically depressed.my preparation werent good. i lost hope in last few months ( i dont know why) i started losing hope gradually as d day approached i gave up.and could not put my mind to study during last few months which were most critical negative thoughts instead of positive ones dominated my mind. my family is somehwhat supportive not entirely as they have started suspecting my abilities and my claims that i am good which i believe i am still now . i am facing tough time convincing them now i am going to prepare for one more year how can i remain motivated after my past failure when i was 100 % sure of my success. i have started doubting my own abilities i have started feeling that no amount of hardwork can get me through. i am sick useless crap Still i have hope left but light within me is fading what should i do?