Teach me to be a jerk

  • Thread starter khemix
  • Start date
  • #26
Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
11,490
52
:rofl:

Moonbear, i love it when you disagree with me...

Could you please elaborate on the correlation between hearing problems and low oestrogen concentrations ?

marlon
I don't know if there's really any evidence for it, other than there's a form of estrogen receptor found in the ears of mice...I don't think the function is known, but it made as much sense as the rest of the debate here. :biggrin:
 
  • #27
3,763
9
I don't know if there's really any evidence for it, other than there's a form of estrogen receptor found in the ears of mice...I don't think the function is known, but it made as much sense as the rest of the debate here. :biggrin:
and real men have indeed lots of oestrogen receptors as well

so WE, as real men = jerks, have high oestrogen concentrations but they do not tend to stay present for a long time.

edit : the oestrogen molecules do not tend to stay for a long time. that's why we need to look for them constantly like vampires looking for blood.

Now, my point makes more sense
marlon
 
  • #28
Galileo
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
1,989
6
Galileo,

Didn't we once emailed with each other over some QFT stuff ?
Like a few years back...

marlon
Quite possibly. I honestly can't remember though, having been away from PF for a long time.
I have no messages from you in my inbox. But maybe they're gone because it's been so long.
 
  • #29
Leah
Being a jerk is not too pleasing to me. I'd rather have a nice guy figure out the problem. And you do have a problem with the tv repair, so just be nice like you are and allow the company to solve it. As my mother has told me before..you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
 
  • #30
I do think that there's a kernel of truth to the "women like jerks" thing. It's just that in a relationship with someone who is a complete a▒▒hole there's going to be lots of drama, and drama in a relationship creates emotional investment in it, which makes someone more likely to stay in that relationship. So it's not that women actually find any qualities that make someone a jerk attractive, it's that if (when?) they have the misfortune to fall into a relationship with a jerk the way that he doesn't give a crap about her and treats her poorly resembles in some respects the emotional roller coaster of true romance. Plus, if he's good at "pushing buttons" i.e. manipulating her emotionally he has no scruples to stop him from using that to his maximum advantage.

And on top of that, if you're a teenager everyone you know is essentially insane from hormone poisoning and any drama whatsoever in anyone's life is magnified x10 for no reason. http://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/willy_nilly.gif [Broken]

It's the same reason why "playing hard to get" works for people of either sex. If someone is attracted to you but you're able to keep a poker face and not let them know you're interested back, or if you send the right kind of mixed signals, it keeps them on an emotional roller coaster going back and forth between despair that their attraction / love is unrequited and a thrill when there's some little hint or gesture of interest on your part. All that drama makes them invested in the relationship which keeps their attention and interest going and gives you leverage.

(The problem is that the more that game has been played on someone in the past, usually the less they're willing to put up with it from you. And also if you accidentally do it to someone who's secretly an axe murderer they just kill you.)
⚛
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #31
120
1
i haven enough self-respect (whatever that really is) and i value myself enough. my mom is not abusive, today i just really pushed her buttons. i don't think i have issues with testosterone because i am quite aggressive otherwise (just not with people, except sometimes family). i think i have enough confidence, i talk to people on the bus all the time about weather and sports.

i don't know if i fear dissaproval, i just really emphasize with whoever i talk and read their emotions. i don't desperately want them to like me, its just that i don't want them feeling down.

What they said, you jerk! (Is this helping?)

As far as being "too nice," I sympathize. Is your nicety also combined with an ironically quick temper? Mine is.

This is me:
nice nice nice nice nice nice nice nice A-HOLE sad nice nice nice nice nice
you're the only one who strikes a chord with me. yeah, i have an ironic quick temper. there will be one day where i treat people like total crap... as if i dont care, then act nice for 2 weeks.

ill try running, but i honestly dont see how it will solve any of my problems.

Being a jerk is not too pleasing to me. I'd rather have a nice guy figure out the problem. And you do have a problem with the tv repair, so just be nice like you are and allow the company to solve it. As my mother has told me before..you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
i think being a jerk is pleasing actually. i dont mean the kind that gets in your face and talks obnoxiously, but the care free attitude grabs everyones attention. its been my experience that people like jerks, as if they try extra hard to befriend them... and value them more once all the work was put in. i actually tried this out with my friend at work when we were dealing with customers. i pretended to ignore this moderately attractive girl while discussing products and she was talking to me a lot. as soon as i caved in and smiled, telling her i heard everything she said, she was gone.

anyway i dont want to become a complete a-hole, even if it gets me more friends. but i do want to be able to stick up for myself.
 
Last edited:
  • #32
360
21
my mom is not abusive, today i just really pushed her buttons.
Seriously, I thought you were trolling. But if you are sincere you should seek help. Your mother is abusive. Healthy people don't have a slap me button.
 
  • #33
my mom is not abusive, today i just really pushed her buttons.
Actually, if someone hits you and calls you a name like that over a television, or over anything else really, yeah, that's abusive. Not, like, the FBI has to be sent into your town to take every child into custody kind of abusive as in the FLDS church in Texas, but that specific event is an abusive incident. I mean you would never do that to someone else, would you? Perhaps part of the reason why you're attentive to the feelings of others is that you feel as though sometimes your mom is not attentive to your feelings.

But it sounds to me as though, separate from anything having to do with attending to other people's feelings, you have issues with being too timid. I have some timidity in my nature as well and I'd say that some of the best things that have helped me to overcome that have been cases when I've had a stupid, short-tempered boss who I've gotten into a shouting match with when I'm certain he's treating me unfairly (I've had the misfortune to have several bosses like this.) But unfortunately, I can't think of any way to reproduce that kind of experience on purpose.
⚛
 
  • #34
100
1
i dunno guys, maybe this is just passive aggressive behaviour against the mom. going behind her back and trying to let the guy off for destroying her property... that's kind of a jerk thing to do when looked at from her perspective.
 
  • #35
Redemption time. Call the company and say that the guy knocked over your tv. The only way to be a jerk is to do it now and not get screwed out of 2000$!!!!!!
 
  • #36
i dunno guys, maybe this is just passive aggressive behaviour against the mom. going behind her back and trying to let the guy off for destroying her property... that's kind of a jerk thing to do when looked at from her perspective.
Ironically, you just suggested that khemix is passive-aggressive in a passive-aggressive fashion, speaking of him in the third person as though he isn't going read what you're writing. (Not saying that what you suggest is impossible, just pointing out the irony.)
⚛
 
  • #37
100
1
Ironically, you just suggested that khemix is passive-aggressive in a passive-aggressive fashion, speaking of him in the third person as though he isn't going read what you're writing. (Not saying that what you suggest is impossible, just pointing out the irony.)
⚛
that's OK, i like irony.
 
  • #38
299
1
i haven enough self-respect (whatever that really is)
No, you clearly don't.
and i value myself enough.
Again, you clearly don't. You value the cable guy's happiness and approval over the work you/your mother put in to earn the money to purchase the television.
my mom is not abusive, today i just really pushed her buttons.
Yes, she is. As a father I will say that (I hope) I will never strike my son in anger. I do believe in spanking or a slap as a punishment for some misbehavior, as long as the rules are clearly delineated beforehand. To slap your child in anger is abuse, plain and simple. If this has happened on more than one occasion, I would recommend talking to your local law enforcement about it. If this is the only time it has ever happened, I would recommend finding someone you trust to talk to about it, so at least someone outside the family knows what happened. Further, a parent calling a child a (female body part) is verbal abuse, no matter how you look at it.
i don't think i have issues with testosterone
I would speak to a doctor about this one. Maybe see if you can get an appointment with a psychologist.
because i am quite aggressive otherwise (just not with people, except sometimes family). i think i have enough confidence, i talk to people on the bus all the time about weather and sports.
Being able to make small talk is not the same as having confidence, self respect, or standing up for yourself.
i don't know if i fear dissaproval, i just really emphasize with whoever i talk and read their emotions.
You value their feelings/emotions more than your own.
i don't desperately want them to like me, its just that i don't want them feeling down.
Again, you would rather yourself feel down than them (anyone else noticing a pattern here)
yeah, i have an ironic quick temper. there will be one day where i treat people like total crap... as if i dont care, then act nice for 2 weeks.
Self esteem issues, maybe mildly bipolar? See a professional, we can't diagnose you online.
i think being a jerk is pleasing actually.
Not as pleasing as real self esteem and self respect.
i dont mean the kind that gets in your face and talks obnoxiously, but the care free attitude grabs everyones attention. its been my experience that people like jerks, as if they try extra hard to befriend them... and value them more once all the work was put in. i actually tried this out with my friend at work when we were dealing with customers. i pretended to ignore this moderately attractive girl while discussing products and she was talking to me a lot. as soon as i caved in and smiled, telling her i heard everything she said, she was gone.
I think you misperceive people who have confidence, and stand up for themselves as jerks. The two are not the same thing, get that notion out of your head.
anyway i dont want to become a complete a-hole, even if it gets me more friends. but i do want to be able to stick up for myself.
About the only sensible thing you said in this post.

Sorry if I'm being particularly blunt or tactless, but I'm being as honest as I can. Hopefully you will consider what I've written.
 
  • #39
Chi Meson
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
1,789
10
you're the only one who strikes a chord with me. yeah, i have an ironic quick temper. there will be one day where i treat people like total crap... as if i dont care, then act nice for 2 weeks.
Too emotional, too empathetic. It's a horrible characteristic to have as an adolescent. Things will get better if you want them too, but give it time. You must must must do something that you can get good at. It doesn't need to impress everyone, but it should do more that just impress yourself. Rock climbing, mountain biking, skateboarding whatever, but don't force yourself. In the back of your head, you have to hear yourself saying, "yeah, I'd like to do that." Otherwise it's not fun, just another task.

It needs to be an endurance kind of exercise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endorphin" [Broken] do exist, and they are the cheapest anti-depressant on the market. I run. You don't have to, but everything else is more expensive. And yes, the physique you get is important.

ill try running, but i honestly dont see how it will solve any of my problems.
you may be surprised. give yourself 2 weeks, five times a week, 20 minutes, slow. Don't time anything at first, don't bother stretching or all that crap, just go, start slow. If your get tired, slow down to a crawl but don't stop.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #40
ZapperZ
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Education Advisor
Insights Author
35,847
4,669
Thread locked pending moderation.

Zz.
 

Related Threads on Teach me to be a jerk

Replies
8
Views
3K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
41
Views
6K
Replies
1
Views
4K
Replies
44
Views
5K
  • Last Post
Replies
10
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
15
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
1K
Replies
7
Views
7K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
27
Views
7K
  • Last Post
Replies
12
Views
7K
Top