Text this girl to avoid awkwardness?

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In summary, a student shares their experience of asking a girl out in their chemistry class and being rejected. They then try to ask out a friend of the girl they initially asked out, but end up texting the wrong person. They then worry about rumors and their reputation, but are advised to not overthink the situation and learn from it. The student also shares their continued awkward encounters with the girl who rejected them.
  • #1
FeDeX_LaTeX
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Near the end of July, it was the last day of term so I took my chances and I asked a girl in my chemistry class if she wanted to go out with me, and she rejected me. A couple of weeks later, during the holidays, I tried to reach one of her friends to ask her out (I had a crush on her too -- I wasn't on the rebound, I just liked both of them), but she wouldn't pick up on my phonecall so I texted her and I got no response. I'm not sure if she got it or not, but I think it's more likely that she did get it.

At the moment I've contacted neither of them since my respective encounters with each of them. The first girl is continuing with chemistry, but the second girl is dropping it, and possibly changing school too, so I won't see her. But it's the first girl I'm worried about -- school starts back in a couple of weeks. Our class follows a seating plan, and myself and this girl are typically always placed next to each other, and since it's the year we start a practical project, we're going to have to be working with each other, talking and seeing each other multiple times a week for a year, swapping data, etc... Of course, this is a problem; we haven't talked since she rejected me, and if she caught wind of me asking her friend out, she might be suspicious and question me about it in person. To avoid this, should I text her a casual message (not mentioning the rejection or her friend) and see how she responds, see what kind of ground we're on? Or do I just take it as it comes in September?
 
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  • #2
FeDeX_LaTeX said:
... Or do I just take it as it comes in September?

This. And I can assure you that she's heard about your text to her friend. :smile:

Don't make a big deal of things that haven't happened yet. Trying to preemptively deal with situations often makes a bigger mess than just letting things happen.
 
  • #3
Dembadon said:
This. And I can assure you that she's heard about your text to her friend. :smile:

Don't make a big deal of things that haven't happened yet. Trying to preemptively deal with situations often makes a bigger mess than just letting things happen.

Yeah, and they hang out together a lot too so that knowledge has probably diffused pretty quickly...

Okay, I won't text anyone. It was a bit of a stupid move to ask out her friend so soon after asking her out anyway -- probably should have waited, and the text was probably ignored since I was assumed to be on the rebound.
 
  • #4
Oh crap. Now I know why her friend never responded. Because it's NOT her friend, it's some other girl in my class... but I did mention her name, so she'd know I'm not asking her out. That's great, now I am going to get the reputation that I ask everyone out. I sent an apology text but no response yet (it's only been a day so I'll give it time).
 
  • #5
FeDeX_LaTeX said:
Oh crap. Now I know why her friend never responded. Because it's NOT her friend, it's some other girl in my class... but I did mention her name, so she'd know I'm not asking her out. That's great, now I am going to get the reputation that I ask everyone out. I sent an apology text but no response yet (it's only been a day so I'll give it time).

Is it common to ask-out members of the opposite sex via text? I have to admit to being a bit out of the loop on this one.

Maybe times are changing and texting doesn't have the stigma I give it, but it seems a little too passive and timid, in my opinion. When I asked someone out on a date, I walked up to them, shoulders square, looked them in the eyes, and asked them! Again, I'm not implying that my way is correct; I haven't asked anyone out on a date in 7 years and social norms have probably changed.

In the future:

Try not to overthink the situation before it happens; you'll just end up making things unnecessarily stressful, and the stress will come out in your communication, which is the emotion that is the polar opposite of what you want to be portraying. :wink:

Regarding your blunder: don't sweat it. It's not as bad as you think and there are plenty of opportunities ahead. Don't let this bring your world down: learn from it and move on! :smile:
 
  • #6
I did want to ask her out in person and I usually do. This time though, all I had was a number, and she wasn't picking up, so I had no choice. Her response was this:

"Hey, sorry I missed your call. And I'm really sorry but no, I'll see you after summer though, hope you have a great holiday." (14th July)

Haven't spoken to her since then, and she seems to be avoiding me despite what she said above. (Well, to be fair, she didn't say anything about talking.)

Thanks for your advice, I don't know what kind of rumours have been spread around though.
 
  • #7
Forget girls, have a beer :smile:
 
  • #8
Take a chill pill. Forget it all ever happened. She rejected you, so what? Move on, no apologies necessary. Their loss bro.
 
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  • #9
It's not really the rejection that bothers me at the moment, just rumours that may be going around. I tried to ask out one girl, and then her friend very soon after. Now both pretty much ignore me and other girls are starting to do the same. People think I'm desperate.
 
  • #10
I keep running into one of the girls who rejected me, and often at the same time. It's extremely awkward; we pass each other in the corridor but we don't say anything to each other, although we make eye contact (but only briefly). I'm really becoming irritated by this. For example, we have a higher education advisor in school, and due to our surnames, we're usually scheduled to see him one after the other, and as a result we often bump into each other more than we should and it's an awkward encounter. Should I just text her and ask her if she's okay and pretend nothing ever happened, just to rid myself of this? We have not spoken for just over 4 months. I don't want to go out with her anymore, but I don't like being uncomfortable around someone who I have to see pretty often.
 
  • #11
FeDeX_LaTeX said:
I keep running into one of the girls who rejected me, and often at the same time. It's extremely awkward; we pass each other in the corridor but we don't say anything to each other, although we make eye contact (but only briefly). I'm really becoming irritated by this. For example, we have a higher education advisor in school, and due to our surnames, we're usually scheduled to see him one after the other, and as a result we often bump into each other more than we should and it's an awkward encounter. Should I just text her and ask her if she's okay and pretend nothing ever happened, just to rid myself of this? We have not spoken for just over 4 months. I don't want to go out with her anymore, but I don't like being uncomfortable around someone who I have to see pretty often.

Why not just say hi when you see her instead of acting like you actually give a damn, that she rejected you?
 
  • #12
FeDeX_LaTeX said:
I keep running into one of the girls who rejected me, and often at the same time. It's extremely awkward; we pass each other in the corridor but we don't say anything to each other, although we make eye contact (but only briefly). I'm really becoming irritated by this. For example, we have a higher education advisor in school, and due to our surnames, we're usually scheduled to see him one after the other, and as a result we often bump into each other more than we should and it's an awkward encounter. Should I just text her and ask her if she's okay and pretend nothing ever happened, just to rid myself of this? We have not spoken for just over 4 months. I don't want to go out with her anymore, but I don't like being uncomfortable around someone who I have to see pretty often.

What if she wouldn't respond to you?

bp_psy said:
Why not just say hi when you see her instead of acting like you actually give a damn, that she rejected you?

I agree with you!
 

Related to Text this girl to avoid awkwardness?

1. How do I start a conversation with a girl without being awkward?

The best way to start a conversation with a girl without being awkward is to find something you both have in common. This could be a mutual interest, a shared experience, or even a current event. Use this as a way to break the ice and start a natural conversation.

2. What are some topics to avoid when texting a girl?

When texting a girl, it's best to avoid controversial or sensitive topics such as politics, religion, and exes. These topics can easily lead to arguments or uncomfortable situations. Instead, focus on getting to know the girl and finding common interests.

3. How do I keep a conversation going without it getting awkward?

One way to keep a conversation going without it getting awkward is to ask open-ended questions. This allows the girl to share more about herself and keeps the conversation flowing. Additionally, actively listening and responding to what she says can help keep the conversation engaging.

4. How often should I text a girl to avoid being too clingy?

It's important to find a balance when texting a girl. Don't constantly bombard her with messages, as this can come across as clingy. Instead, space out your texts and give her time to respond. If she doesn't respond right away, don't keep texting her until she does.

5. Is it okay to use emojis when texting a girl?

Using emojis can add a fun and playful element to your texts, but it's important not to overdo it. Use emojis sparingly and make sure they are appropriate for the conversation. Some people may not be as comfortable using emojis, so it's best to gauge the girl's response before using them too frequently.

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