The best story I've ever heard

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Lisa!

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Remember the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?' Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at the University of Pennsylvania.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.

The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

--------------------------------------------------------------

STORY:

(First paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

------------------------------------------------------

(Second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out
of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one^s innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

---------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace armament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

As*****.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

B****.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

******.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

****.

---------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

Get ****ed.

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Eat s***.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Rebecca)

**** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

----------------------------------------------------------

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

**********************************************

(Teacher)

A+ - I really liked this one.
o:) o:) o:)
 
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That's awesome!

I actually liked what Gary had to say. Rebecca can't write...

:rofl:

Thanks for posting this.
 

Danger

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Yeah, I'm with Gary on that one.
 

Moonbear

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I actually liked what Gary had to say. Rebecca can't write...
Men! :rolleyes:

:rofl:

While I enjoyed the tea-sipping, neurotic Laura getting blasted away by space aliens, I'm guessing that if the assignment were real, they'd have both failed. They weren't really building a story together, but trying to push their own independent stories in spite of what the other was writing.
 

Astronuc

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And Rebecca and Gary lived happily ever after. :rofl:
 

Moonbear

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Kurdt

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Instead of jane and john they could do a new line of rebecca and gary stories for children of dysfuctional families.
 
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"The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her."

This is exactly the "I don't care about politics, history, the state of the world or society, so let's focus on my own feelings now!" attitude in alot of women of my age that is seriously getting on my nerves lately... :grumpy:
 

Moonbear

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This is exactly the "I don't care about politics, history, the state of the world or society, so let's focus on my own feelings now!" attitude in alot of women of my age that is seriously getting on my nerves lately... :grumpy:
Which differs from the men of the same age who have the "I don't care about politics, history, the state of the world or society, so let's focus on sports" attitude. :biggrin:
 

Ivan Seeking

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That was great.
 
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Which differs from the men of the same age who have the "I don't care about politics, history, the state of the world or society, so let's focus on sports" attitude. :biggrin:
Sorry, but no. Wrong side of the Atlantic :wink:
 

verty

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So what do Russian (Lithuanian, Estonian or whatever) men care about?
 

Ivan Seeking

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It's hard to say. Snopes seems to pass judgement without really knowing.
 

Ivan Seeking

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Heh, I was all but hooked by one, but only because it made the evening news before being debunked.

Oceanographic scientists say they have discovered a vast, floating "reef" of the world's disposed condoms in the middle of the South Pacific, about halfway between Tahiti and Antarctica. The phenomenal mass is almost two miles long, an eighth of a mile wide, and in places up to 60 feet deep, the oceanographers say....
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=77328
 

Math Is Hard

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I believed it, too!
 

Astronuc

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Oceanographic scientists say they have discovered a vast, floating "reef" of the world's disposed condoms in the middle of the South Pacific, about halfway between Tahiti and Antarctica. The phenomenal mass is almost two miles long, an eighth of a mile wide, and in places up to 60 feet deep, the oceanographers say....
Well there is another story like this, where plastic products have accumulated in a quiet, calm area of square miles of ocean, somewhere in the eastern Pacific. Apprently there are places in the Atlantic (Sargasso Sea) where stuff collects:

The “Eastern Garbage Patch”

The North Pacific sub-tropical gyre covers a large area of the Pacific in which the water circulates clockwise in a slow spiral. Winds are light. The currents tend to force any floating material into the low energy central area of the gyre. There are few islands on which the floating material can beach. So it stays there in the gyre, in astounding quantities estimated at six kilos of plastic for every kilo of naturally occurring plankton. The equivalent of an area the size of Texas swirling slowly around like a clock. This gyre has also been dubbed “the Asian Trash Trail” the “Trash Vortex” or the “Eastern Garbage Patch”.
http://oceans.greenpeace.org/en/our-oceans/pollution/trash-vortex [Broken]

Plastics in Pacific: Activists survey the mess
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15590510/

Swirling plastic vortex menaces sea life
http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/11/06/plastic.trash.vortex.reut/index.html [Broken]
WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Old toothbrushes, beach toys and used condoms are part of a vast vortex of plastic trash in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, threatening sea creatures that get tangled in it, eat it or ride on it, a new report says.

Because plastic doesn't break down the way organic material does, ocean currents and tides have carried it thousands of miles to an area between Hawaii and the U.S. West Coast, according to the study by the international environmental group Greenpeace.

This swirling vortex, which can grow to be about the size of Texas, is not far from the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands, designated as a protected U.S. national monument in June by President George W. Bush.

The Greenpeace report, "Plastic Debris in the World's Oceans" said at least 267 species -- including seabirds, turtles, seals, sea lions, whales and fish -- are known to have suffered from entanglement or ingestion of marine debris.

Some 80 percent of this debris comes from land and 20 percent from the oceans, the report said, with four main sources: tourism, sewage, fishing and waste from ships and boats.

The new report comes days after the journal Science projected that Earth's stocks of fish and seafood would collapse by 2048 if trends in overfishing and pollution continue.
Trash Vortex
Researchers have discovered a Texas-sized area of trash floating in the Pacific Ocean. Composed primarily of plastic garbage from landlubbers, the area has become both a major threat to marine life and a frightening example of how polluted our oceans are. Living on Earth speaks with Adam Walters, a scientist for Greenpeace who is monitoring the vortex aboard the vessel Esperanza.
 
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Damn you, Snopes.
 

BobG

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(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him.
How did she expect things to progress after she killed off her partner's character? Not only that, she killed him off with no effort what so ever. "He bumped his head...". What kind of thought went into that act? She could have at least put a little thought and consideration into how she offed him!

Not only did she kill off his character in a casual manner, she wiped out war and space travel, virtually closing off any avenue of communication between her and Gary.


I agree with Gary. He was stuck with a real lemon of a partner that absolutely refused any chance of cooperation and compromise.
 

Moonbear

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It's a funny piece, but I am not sure this was really the product of a collaborative class project.
http://www.snopes.com/college/homework/writing.asp
They don't actually say it isn't, more that nobody really knows. It may have started as part of a project and been embellished as it was passed around too. It's still pretty funny.

Of course, if you want to see a good example of collaborative story writing...https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=56910 :biggrin:

Don't expect an ending though...like most great authors, we must have an unfinished work when we die so everyone can ponder and speculate how we might have concluded it. :cool:
 

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