- #71
BobG
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
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Danger said:Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.
So you could pick "I have a different method"?
Danger said:Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.
BobG said:So you could pick "I have a different method"?
Danger said:Discussions like this make me wish that I was a dog.
BobG said:So you could pick "I have a different method"?
lisab said:Oh yes, look at post #5 from Mayday. Very unique!
BobG said:Who do you have for a dog? Lassie?
"What's that? Timmy fell down a well?"
"He didn't fall down a well. He fell down something like a well?"
"He fell down some kind of hole?"
"Oh, that kind of hole. Here, Lassie! Take him this toilet paper! And be sure to fold it!"
NeoDevin said:My cat goes for the dangling sheet end, so it doesn't matter which way I put it.
Moonbear said:Ah, in that case, that may be the perfect roll of TP for you! :rofl:
kldickson said:It's buttwipe.
I do what's not messy and cleans my arse reasonably efficiently.
Note to self: bring own bar of soap when visiting Danger's place.Danger said:Reasonably efficiently? :yuck: I'll never give up my soap and water.
DaveC426913 said:Note to self: bring own bar of soap when visiting Danger's place.
Borg said:Mine doesn't fold or scrunch.
Bararontok said:To minimize the amount of toilet paper used in the wiping of the inner side of the buttocks and the anus, it is advisable to use a high pressure fine nozzled spray built into the toilet to spray off the fecal residue that clings to the flesh in the lower extremities of the excretory system. To keep the amount of water used by the spray to a minimum, the buttocks must be spread out over the toilet bowl as widely as possible to minimize contact with the fecal matter that is being ejected from the rectum since this ensures that the water jet will only need to be circulated around the lining of the anus for a maximum of five 360 degree cycles. After majority of the residue has been washed off, the toilet paper will only be placed inside the buttocks and anus for the purpose of absorbing the moisture deposited by the spray. For this purpose, only six plies of toilet paper are needed and they must be neatly folded in half. The user must then stand, shake off the collected water droplets in the lower extremeties into the toilet bowl and proceed to stretch open their buttocks to permit the insertion of the toilet paper. The buttocks should then be closed and the toiler paper left in for a few seconds to absorb the moisture before the buttocks are again opened so that the paper can be removed and deposited into the toilet bowl where it will be flushed into the sewer along with the ejected fecal matter. This technique ensures that the amount of toilet paper used is kept to a minimum and even though the spray slightly increases the amount of water used by the toilet, it compensates for the wastage because it takes substantially larger amounts of water and trees to make toilet paper.
It was amusing...nismaratwork said:Somehow that missed being funny and just hit 'disturbing'. I never need to read the words, "fecal," or, "buttocks," for a LONG time.
╔(σ_σ)╝ said:It was amusing...
Yeah!Borg said:Mine doesn't fold or scrunch.
FtlIsAwesome said:Yeah!
You are the man!
DaveC426913 said:What I don't get about scrunchers is this:
What happens after the first pass? You can't simply re-fold. Basically, a scrunched wad is a one-use wad.
Exactly. Very wasteful of materials, not to mention hard on toilet systems and wallets.FtlIsAwesome said:Uhh...
Use another piece.
BobG said:It's tough to make up your mind which method you should use sometimes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPOX6R7RvBM
Bah humbug.DaveC426913 said:Very wasteful of materials, not to mention hard on toilet systems and wallets.