The Guys' Rules (1 Viewer)

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

8
165
This was sent to me by my niece. Only blame me if you feel it is absoulutely necessary. :smile:


The Guys' Rules:


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"from the female point of view...

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.


Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.:wink:
 

arildno

Science Advisor
Homework Helper
Gold Member
Dearly Missed
9,848
128
Overheard reaction from edward's girlfriend:
You don't love me anymore!! :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
Hehe, i've seen those before they're awesome, thanks for posting them!
 

ranger

King of all llamas
Gold Member
1,651
1
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
I like thoes :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
1,011
6
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Could someone explain this one please?
 

selfAdjoint

Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
Dearly Missed
6,691
5
mattmns said:
Could someone explain this one please?
"Not tonight, dear; I have a headache."
 
1,011
6
selfAdjoint said:
"Not tonight, dear; I have a headache."
Ahh, I guess I was just focused on the number 17 lol, thanks :smile:
 
1,068
7
Follow these rules, and you will never be happy!
 

JamesU

Gold Member
694
3
why are they all numbered:

1.

?
 
1,011
6
yomamma said:
why are they all numbered:
1.
?
Because each one is as important as the next.
 
224
2
I should try being gay...
 

wolram

Gold Member
4,108
548
I became bored with the macho and fem stuff, it is like fishing without a worm.
:grumpy:
 
16
8
It is really relaxing though.
 

The Physics Forums Way

We Value Quality
• Topics based on mainstream science
• Proper English grammar and spelling
We Value Civility
• Positive and compassionate attitudes
• Patience while debating
We Value Productivity
• Disciplined to remain on-topic
• Recognition of own weaknesses
• Solo and co-op problem solving
Top