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The notorious cult of Al-gebra

  1. Mar 15, 2004 #1
    Someone emailed this to me and I thought you all might get a hoot out of it..
    Don't have a source for it though, sorry.. It was a forward.


    At New York Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
    be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight
    while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide
    rule and a calculator.

    Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the
    notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons
    of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They
    desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off
    on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite
    shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are
    frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a
    common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with
    coordinates in every country.

    As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3
    sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
    wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
    given us more fingers and toes. "

  2. jcsd
  3. Mar 15, 2004 #2
    Oh man...
    That was classic, absolutely hilarious. I've got to show this to my algebra teacher.
  4. Mar 15, 2004 #3
    Ah!! The terrorist sect of Al-Gebra is here! Run for your lives! They will horribly destroy us by dividing us by zero and thus making our lives as we know it undefinable!
  5. Mar 15, 2004 #4
    I have an old high school math teacher who would get a kick out of this.
  6. Mar 15, 2004 #5
    I've read this before, posted on a board in the math department. Funny one :smile:
  7. Mar 15, 2004 #6
    So now I'm going to have even more cause for nightmares! Thanks a lot!

  8. Mar 16, 2004 #7
    Let's see who can improve upon this, perhaps making more parallels.
  9. Mar 16, 2004 #8
    Bush better not use this in his campaign to be re-elected because the exponents of these variables is very wide spread. I wonder if they will start tapping my phone because I've known how to simplify for years.
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