The only scientist in my school? (Student)

  • #1
Ok so I go to high school, and as you know a lot of students there want to look "cool" and be "popular", the amount of people who concentrate on their lessons and grades are very low in this school. (Not a bad school, it's actually very good, it's got a very good reputation for computing, mathematics and sciences) so yeah back to the question, like I said, the amount of students who actually care for their future and getting a good career (or if any) are very low, and the people who do care are left out and bullied :/ my question is (finally), how could I overcome my fear of being bullied and rejection, especially in science? It's my favourite subject, along with maths, but I keep feeling that I'm going to do something wrong... Or that someone is going to say something that will hurt me :( I have had this in year 7, 8 and 9, I was bullied because well I didn't care for how I looked... The girls in my class where being nothing but horrible and the boys, didn't even look at me (not that I care about boys) but you see I was "socially unacceptable" or "an outcast". I think that a big chunk of me is missing, that I can't express my true personality or appearance without having a constant fear... When I had the bullying going on this girl I used to sit next to, she have me advice and told me what I could do to improve (my looks) and I did it, but later on (yr 8/9) I realised that I had forgotten about my academic life completely, I didn't care for anything, I talked back to teachers, insulting them, I was just a rebellious freak :/ and because of that, teachers thought it was concerning, telling my parents, we had long conversations, and when I went back I got the point they where trying to make, "focus on your schoolwork only an keep out of trouble".. I started to talk about science again to my "friend" and knowing that if I couldn't do it in class I could do it now, (because of my fear) but now I see that as soon as I became a "science person" again, less makeup more science, she would ignore me, she insulted me and a lot of other (nerds?) that we were just a bunch of lifeless freaks looking to prove something completely made up... :/ (irritating) she's religious and I respect that, not saying it's made up, and she thinks it's ok to say that to me? :( ok so yeah, I decided to leave that group and find people o more "like minded" "my type" and when I do, because of the previous years (yr 10 now) they think I'm only near them to make fun of them, they (all like minded) think that I'm just there to annoy them or insult them :((((

What shall I do? How do you think I should "befriend" like minded people? And how do I overcome this fear? :( I have seen a lot of people about this, police, psychologist, parents, teachers, counsellor, but they all say the same thing. I know this is just a matter of teenage hormones and blah blah but the thing is, this fear is driving me crazy! I want to get over it but .. I don't know what's holding me back... I don't even like to go outside anymore :/ this anxiety is becoming worser and worser :( I only care about my education and career and right now, my grades are dropping and are in really bad states ;(..
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Astronuc
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
18,924
2,235
One could do weight-training or running, or other exercises, or possibly a martial art. Exercise is a good way to relieve stress as well as condition the body and mind.

One should not forgo one's academic/intellectual development. Find others with similar academic interests.

In high school, I mostly kept to myself. I had classmates who took math/calculus, chemistry and physics with me, and at least one was a close friend (and we've kept in contact for 40+ years).

I had other friends who weren't to keen on science, but we enjoyed running, cycling or playing soccer/football.

I'd recommend talking with one's parents or perhaps grandparents or other adult relatives who one trusts.
 
  • #3
662
307
this girl I used to sit next to, she have me advice and told me what I could do to improve (my looks) and I did it, .. I started to talk about science again to my "friend" and knowing that if I couldn't do it in class I could do it now, (because of my fear) but now I see that as soon as I became a "science person" again, less makeup more science, she would ignore me, she insulted me and a lot of other (nerds?) that we were just a bunch of lifeless freaks looking to prove something completely made up... :/
The make-up girl said what? :devil:
(We just had a thread in GD about denial)
What shall I do? How do you think I should "befriend" like minded people? And how do I overcome this fear? :( I have seen a lot of people about this, police, psychologist, parents, teachers, counsellor, but they all say the same thing. I know this is just a matter of teenage hormones and blah blah but the thing is, this fear is driving me crazy! I want to get over it but .. I don't know what's holding me back... I don't even like to go outside anymore :/ this anxiety is becoming worser and worser :( I only care about my education and career and right now, my grades are dropping and are in really bad states ;(..
You are stressing too much...any non academic hobbies? Books, movies, games, sports...anything goes.
And as for friends, well just be nice (say hi, ask/offer to help with studies...etc.) and if they are worth it (not douchebags), it probably will work out.
And try and have fun while studying.
P.S. this is going to sound corny but try meditation...
 
  • #4
Enigman you are probably right :-} haha I have tried meditation but, I don't seem to ... Go along with it... So I'm just going to see what happens.. Maybe I could start horse riding again... I know that nothing makes me happier than animals... *apart from science :**** so yeah, thanks for replying :) thank you fellow nerd x (is it ok if I say that?)
 
  • #5
Evo
Mentor
23,161
2,857
What shall I do? How do you think I should "befriend" like minded people? And how do I overcome this fear? :( I have seen a lot of people about this, police, psychologist, parents, teachers, counsellor, but they all say the same thing. I know this is just a matter of teenage hormones and blah blah but the thing is, this fear is driving me crazy! I want to get over it but .. I don't know what's holding me back... I don't even like to go outside anymore :/ this anxiety is becoming worser and worser :( I only care about my education and career and right now, my grades are dropping and are in really bad states ;(..
You should ask your parents to take you to a psychiatrist if your problems are this severe. You should be properly evaluated, and a psychiatrist is a medical doctor, a psychologist is not. You may find that your problems can be treated. Many people on this forum are able to function normally as long as they are on proper medications. Get help and good luck to you.
 
  • #6
Evo :> woohoo time to get out the house ... Ok... Yay :) thanks for the advice though.. Man I really appreciate this... The fact that all of you are being very helpful is just great <: I actually feel like there may be a chance for our generation in mankind... And that we aren't going to chaos haha :))) so... Great ...
 
  • #7
utkarshakash
Gold Member
855
13
Just concentrate on your studies and everything will be fine. Don't listen to your fellow mates. I know people get distracted at this age but high school is a place where you lay foundation for your future. You will get enough time to take care of your looks in your college. Don't be disappointed too much if you can't befriend them. You will never get these crucial years back. So the choice is yours, either make your career or break it. Good luck!
 
  • #9
Student100
Education Advisor
Gold Member
1,649
416
You don't need to fit any stereotype, you don't have to be an "outcast" or hang with "outcasts" because you're interested in science. On the same token, you also don't need to wear make up or act ditzy to be socially acceptable. If you're in a social setting and science is furthest from anyone else's interests, perhaps you should talk about something else of mutual interest. You need to be aware of the setting, and you should always strive to be who you really are-which I'm sure is more varied than one dimension.

People are going to be displeased with, perhaps bully and even hate you, regardless. The only person you should strive to please is yourself.

Good luck with your education.
 
  • #10
Evo
Mentor
23,161
2,857
Evo :> woohoo time to get out the house ... Ok... Yay :) thanks for the advice though.. Man I really appreciate this... The fact that all of you are being very helpful is just great <: I actually feel like there may be a chance for our generation in mankind... And that we aren't going to chaos haha :))) so... Great ...
I'm very serious, if you aren't a troll and actually have these mental problems, please get psychiatric help.
 
  • #11
I know :( it's just hard... Easier said than done..
 
  • #12
I'm very serious, if you aren't a troll and actually have these mental problems, please get psychiatric help.

I was serious as well :-/
 
  • #13
223
10
Children rarely care for their future while in the sandbox. There are those to whom sandbox play continues until something happens and they have to grow up somehow. You don't have to reason with it, it is just the way it is. Don't try to pull on facades and pretend you're someone else. You do what you want to do, if the others don't like it - well, that's their problem isn't it?
 
  • #14
Children rarely care for their future while in the sandbox. There are those to whom sandbox play continues until something happens and they have to grow up somehow. You don't have to reason with it, it is just the way it is. Don't try to pull on facades and pretend you're someone else. You do what you want to do, if the others don't like it - well, that's their problem isn't it?

Yeah your right :->
 
  • #15
51
1
I was serious as well :-/
Are you sure you're not trolling? Seriously, get psychiatric help. It makes a difference. They can determine if you have some physiological issue and give you therapy or medication.

I'm starting to get therapy, and it really helps.
 
  • #16
Are you sure you're not trolling? Seriously, get psychiatric help. It makes a difference. They can determine if you have some physiological issue and give you therapy or medication.

I'm starting to get therapy, and it really helps.

I'm pretty sure... Like I said before...
 
  • #17
reenmachine
Gold Member
513
8
Ok so I go to high school, and as you know a lot of students there want to look "cool" and be "popular", the amount of people who concentrate on their lessons and grades are very low in this school. (Not a bad school, it's actually very good, it's got a very good reputation for computing, mathematics and sciences) so yeah back to the question, like I said, the amount of students who actually care for their future and getting a good career (or if any) are very low, and the people who do care are left out and bullied :/ my question is (finally), how could I overcome my fear of being bullied and rejection, especially in science? It's my favourite subject, along with maths, but I keep feeling that I'm going to do something wrong... Or that someone is going to say something that will hurt me :( I have had this in year 7, 8 and 9, I was bullied because well I didn't care for how I looked... The girls in my class where being nothing but horrible and the boys, didn't even look at me (not that I care about boys) but you see I was "socially unacceptable" or "an outcast". I think that a big chunk of me is missing, that I can't express my true personality or appearance without having a constant fear... When I had the bullying going on this girl I used to sit next to, she have me advice and told me what I could do to improve (my looks) and I did it, but later on (yr 8/9) I realised that I had forgotten about my academic life completely, I didn't care for anything, I talked back to teachers, insulting them, I was just a rebellious freak :/ and because of that, teachers thought it was concerning, telling my parents, we had long conversations, and when I went back I got the point they where trying to make, "focus on your schoolwork only an keep out of trouble".. I started to talk about science again to my "friend" and knowing that if I couldn't do it in class I could do it now, (because of my fear) but now I see that as soon as I became a "science person" again, less makeup more science, she would ignore me, she insulted me and a lot of other (nerds?) that we were just a bunch of lifeless freaks looking to prove something completely made up... :/ (irritating) she's religious and I respect that, not saying it's made up, and she thinks it's ok to say that to me? :( ok so yeah, I decided to leave that group and find people o more "like minded" "my type" and when I do, because of the previous years (yr 10 now) they think I'm only near them to make fun of them, they (all like minded) think that I'm just there to annoy them or insult them :((((

What shall I do? How do you think I should "befriend" like minded people? And how do I overcome this fear? :( I have seen a lot of people about this, police, psychologist, parents, teachers, counsellor, but they all say the same thing. I know this is just a matter of teenage hormones and blah blah but the thing is, this fear is driving me crazy! I want to get over it but .. I don't know what's holding me back... I don't even like to go outside anymore :/ this anxiety is becoming worser and worser :( I only care about my education and career and right now, my grades are dropping and are in really bad states ;(..
This post was painful to read for me , as I saw myself 12 years ago in a lot of this.I wish I had superb advices to give you , but even 12 years later I would still be unsure of how to deal with this situation.

All I can do is tell you what I noticed as time went on:

The urge to act rebellious can be insanely high if it gives you even 0,0001% more social respect.The only thing I can say is hold your nose while you're in the water and keep your focus (I know how painfully hard that can be depending of the environment of your school).The reason is that in 2-3 years , all the energy you had put into your rebellious behavior will be completely useless , while the energy you could put in your studies will be very useful.

If you are already having agoraphobic tendencies , try to see a psychiatrist.Agoraphobia is very hard to live with , and it could be that the environment you are stuck in at the moment is what is causing these symptoms , the good news is that this environment will change , but you should still see a professionnal.Agoraphobia will worsen as time goes on , and it will be harder to treat it the longer you wait.Don't wait , this is a serious matter.
 
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