The targeted brush-off

  1. Math Is Hard

    Math Is Hard 4,915
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    Sometimes there's a person that just gives you a certain uneasiness that makes you not want to encourage a friendship.

    There's a guy like that at my health club. He's always hanging around (not even working out, just chit chatting at the front desk) and I catch him staring at me (my guess is that any new female attracts his attention). He positions himself in my path to start up conversations. I am not rude, but keep conversations short.

    The thing is, I'm new at this place, and I want to make friends with other (non-creepy) members. I don't want other people to see me giving him the cold shoulder and think I am unfriendly.

    My friend says to just suck it up and be friendly to him, but ugh, he gives me a weird vibe.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. lisab

    Staff: Mentor

    Maybe ask other women there, like in the privacy of the locker room, if he bothers them too. It could be well-known that he's a creep. Then you could brush him off without worry.

    Or wear ear buds?

    I'm certain your instincts are good! I never ignore that 'creepy vibe' feeling.
     
  4. turbo

    turbo 7,366
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    MIH, if you have that Kardashian thing going, you're going to get hit on - by creeps as well as nice guys.

    Ear-buds are a good suggestion - you can politely ignore him while smiling and cruising by.
     
  5. Math Is Hard

    Math Is Hard 4,915
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    Thanks, guys. Note to self: keep earbuds in at all times, and remove bootie-pops from workout outfits. :)
    The only bad thing about staying earbudded is that it keeps me from meeting other folks. I am still trying to find a racquetball partner. But maybe I can post something about that on the locker room bulletin board.
     
  6. You can just try being bit cold and uninterested in what he has to say or walk in group of friends :devil:
     
  7. turbo

    turbo 7,366
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    Bootie-pops and push-ups are definitely not necessary.
     
  8. Math Is Hard

    Math Is Hard 4,915
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    I don't really know any of the women there unfortunately, but I bet some would not have good things to say about him. When I was at the pool there this summer he was always strolling around trying to invite himself into a group of young ladies. Luckily, there is another pool further away on the grounds that I can go to.
     
  9. turbo

    turbo 7,366
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    BTW, ear-buds that are loud enough to hear by a bystander are a good sign that you might not be able to converse. When you get to sessions in aerobics, spinning, etc, it is probably expected that you'll turn down the iPod... Unless you get stalked by the creepy guy, you should be OK.
     
  10. Math Is Hard

    Math Is Hard 4,915
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    You might want to re-read my post. You seem to have missed the part where being cold could be a problem (the main point), and also that I am new and don't have a group of friends there.
     
  11. Yes, I certainly missed that part. Hopefully, you find friends soon and you wouldn't have to deal with him alone.
     
  12. Pyrrhus

    Pyrrhus 2,273
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    Hey MIH, do you need a workout partner?? :wink:
     
  13. Simply strike up conversations with other people so you're not so isolated there. Talking about raquetball is an obvious first step. Closing yourself off with earbuds is a good way to stay isolated.
     
  14. Astronuc

    Staff: Mentor

    You need an imaginary BF - from SD perhaps.


    I see an opportunity for a new market - Rent-A-Guy or Rent-A-Beau. :biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2010
  15. lisab

    Staff: Mentor

    Maybe you could ask him to play raquetball, and then kick his @ss. Mix in some obnoxious, belittling, demoralizing trash talk...he'll run when he sees you next time :biggrin:.
     
  16. Try a chess game ?

    [​IMG]
     
  17. turbo

    turbo 7,366
    Gold Member

    Let's explore freedom through technology once more. No ear-bud, this time, but a blue-tooth ear-piece. You can be "talking" on your cell at convenient times without looking like an iPod addict. Just chatter on about stuff related to your work, and hope that your admirer doesn't share your interests.
     
  18. Hi Math is Hard,
    I think if your guess is correct, he has tried this with many other female members and they have probably given him the cold shoulder...esp. if he is always just talking to the person at the front desk and not other members. I think if you are friendly with other members they won't think you're unfriendly if you give him the cold shoulder. On the other hand you could continue to talk to him about things like why he is always talking to the ppl at the front desk and not working out:devil:
     
  19. Math Is Hard

    Math Is Hard 4,915
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    I love that last part. I wish I had the nerve to say that!

    I think you are right, that the other members have observed him "in action" enough that no one is going to judge me as mean if I am snotty to him.

    I went ahead and gave Pepe Le Pew the big freeze tonight. He started to sit down next to me and I got up and walked away. I don't know if one can give a bigger hint than that.

    Unfortunately, there's a no cell phone policy.

    I think tic-tac-toe is more his speed.

    The only drawback is that I don't want to be alone in a closed room with him. There's hardly any other people around at the racquetball courts.

    Maybe an "I heart women" t-shirt. :smile:

    Trying to do that a little bit (starting conversations). I have to fight my shyness pretty hard, though.

    Yes! You can protect me, and I will protect you from the cougars.

    Thanks. Working on it!
     
  20. :rofl:
     
  21. I'm intrigued. What is it, exactly, that you find weird about him. Be specific, and be honest.

    The reason I'm asking is that there's good weird and bad weird, and I've known girls whose first substantive statement to me was something like, "You're weird" -- and then we ended up seeing each other for a long time, and, in a couple of cases, actually living together for a year or so. For example, one of the long term loves of my life took me to her house one day not long after we'd met and her mother said to me, "Oh, you really are goofy!"

    Of course, I'm assuming that your guy is bad weird, and that his bad weirdness isn't just a matter of social ineptness or social assholiness. So, I'm curious. How bad is this guy? And why is it such a problem that you've posted about it at PF? Is he scary weird?

    In any case, if he really is 'bad weird', then just avoid him.

    Regarding the racquetball problem, why not take up tennis? Is it that you're in a cold climate? If so, that's too bad. But you still have spring and summer.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2010
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