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News The World's Dumbest Pirates?

  1. Oct 7, 2009 #1
    Words escape me...:rofl:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20091007/wl_africa_afp/somaliapiracyshippingfrance_20091007151820 [Broken]

    "Somali pirates attempted to storm the French navy's 18,000 tonne flagship in the Indian Ocean after mistaking it for a cargo vessel, the French military said on Wednesday.

    The crew of La Somme, a 160-metre (525-foot) command vessel and fuel tanker, easily saw off the brazen night-time assault by lightly armed fighters on two lightweight skiffs and captured five pirates, a spokesman said.

    "The pirates, who because of the darkness took the French ship for a commercial vessel, were on board two vessels and opened fire with Kalashnikovs," Admiral Christophe Prazuck said in Paris."
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2017
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 8, 2009 #2
    Maybe the pirate have been telling too many French military jokes.

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    We surrender.

    The French military tanks of WWI had the distinction of being able to go faster in reverse then any other gear.

    He ran faster then a WWII French border guard with running shoes, a coupon for free smokes, and an advancing German army.

    Or on Google they did a search for French military victories and hit the direct link button (I'm feeling lucky).

    In all seriousness the Somali pirates are just getting too big for there britches and need to be taken down a few pegs.
  4. Oct 8, 2009 #3
    You know that sinking feeling you get in the base of your stomach when you do something you know you shouldn't be doing and you get caught.
  5. Oct 8, 2009 #4
    We should put an aircraft carrier off their coast and write "Not an aircraft carrier" on the side. Maybe it could attract more pirates.
  6. Oct 8, 2009 #5


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    I would think re-activating a couple of battleships and just shelling the hell out of them would be more effective, less costly and definitely made for TV.
  7. Oct 8, 2009 #6


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    This has happened several times before and these pirates were less dumb than those who attacked a line warship in the last incident. In this case, the pirates were half right: the la Somme is a cargo ship.

    This incident was in May:

    The La Somme's most powerful weapon is a 40mm gun. The Nivose has a 100mm gun and Exocet missiles...

    I'm in favor of harsh treatment anyway, but in my opinion if a pirate actually attacks a navy ship, arresting them should be off the table in favor of target practice.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  8. Oct 8, 2009 #7
    hahah i wonder what exactly was running through the pirates minds when they found out it was a warship.

    However I feel like they are doing something smart regardless... I mean like it's not exactly as though they are working hard to make A LOT of money... We're the stupid ones for letting all these pirates get away with their criminal activities.
  9. Oct 8, 2009 #8


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    I'm pretty sure piracy is hard work actually
  10. Oct 8, 2009 #9
    I'm just trying to imagine pirates, or anyone for that matter, getting on a "US" naval warship (as opposed to a French warship), discharging a machine gun, and being able to boat away alive. I don't think that could happen could it?
  11. Oct 8, 2009 #10


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    Where does it say the pirates got onboard the French warship?

    In any case, the rules of engagement can be screwy, but yeah, I would hope if pirates fired on a US warship, they'd be allowed to destory it.
  12. Oct 8, 2009 #11
    ...or at least run it over.:bugeye:
  13. Oct 8, 2009 #12


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    A 40mm cannon shell?

    The pirates are only making pocket change, like street drug dealers they have to rent the boats, fuel and weapons from organized bosses who take the majority of the money.

    The trouble with doing anything about it. If the crime is committed in territorial waters they are handed back to the local authorities - if the navy in question has diplomatic relations with that country (Somalia ?)
    Or to the flag country of the ship they attacked, which is likely to be either a flag of convenience like Liberia/Panama or a western country that doesn't want the cost, hassle and publicity of a trial.
    The best option is for them to attack a warship so they can fight back and legally just kill them.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  14. Oct 8, 2009 #13


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    I'm surprised they didn't get a sinking feeling in the bottom of their boat!
  15. Oct 9, 2009 #14
    My mistake. I tried to find where I was led to believe they boarded but the article seem to have changed it's content in the meantime.

    None-the-less they fired on the French. And were able to boat away.
  16. Oct 9, 2009 #15
    I'm sure when the 'boat-which-splits-into-two' is developed less and less pirates will be escaping.
  17. Oct 9, 2009 #16
    Perhaps pocket-change in the greater scheme of things, but we are talking about ransoms for crews and ships. Each incident nets around 3 million dollars. That is a lot of pocket change.
  18. Oct 9, 2009 #17


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    mgb was not referring to the money paid by owners, but to the money that land in the pockets of people manning the boat. These are different things.
  19. Oct 9, 2009 #18
    I'll give you that, most likely the guys in the boats are not actually making that much by our standards.
  20. Oct 12, 2009 #19
    They do run security drills for this sort of thing. It's not impossible, assuming they can get close enough to board, but Somali pirates don't have the knowledge or training for it. They'd be fools to try, not that it would stop them. There would be hell to pay if they succeeded. More than likely they would be met with small arms, mounted 50 cal and automated 20mm machine guns and maybe missiles. Those FCs are just itching to launch those things.

    In the not so distant future they may even have laser weapons. I read that Raytheon is working on a laser Close-In-Weapons-System (CIWS) to replace the 20mm Phalanx CIWS.

    Some go fast CIWS target practice on the coast guard's USS Bertholf.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
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