You know you are using one if... 1. You are using Emacs, even though you hate it! 2. You are thinking of getting a Linux box, but aren't sure of it. 3. You've never had more trouble with any other application program. 4. You have downloaded a lot of new programs and have deleted them quickly. 5. Nothing seems to work. 6. You have spent 24 uninterrupted hours looking over instructions, making sure you've followed them correctly, and wondering what you did wrong. 7. You've sent some emails, and the replies you got weren't too helpful. 8. You are constantly getting error messages. 9. As soon as you solve one problem, you discover you have three more problems. 10. You shrug and say to yourself, "Hang it all, I'll be a string theorist before I get this monster moving".