I don't know about other evidence to support the Machiavelli-was-not-an-autocrat hypothesis, but I suggest you are mistaken that there's support for this in the Prince in those 'virtue' and 'respect' passages. Virtue was just another ploy to Mac.CRGreathouse said:I think that Machiavelli is often misconstrued, especially as most people know his writing only secondhand. In addition to the debate about the purpose of his writing (there's a common belief among scholars, probably minority but possibly majority, that he *didn't* support autocratic rule at all; this is well-supported by circumstances but little primary evidence remains), he's usually viewed much too narrowly.
Having said that, I concur that Phrak's remembered phrase sounds out-of-character for the man.
The Prince said:For this reason a prince ought to take care that he never let's anything
slip from his lips that is not replete with the above-named five
qualities, that he may appear to him who sees and hears him altogether
merciful, faithful, humane, upright, and religious. There is nothing
more necessary to appear to have than this last quality, inasmuch as men
judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, because it belongs to
everybody to see you, to few to come in touch with you. Every one sees
what you appear to be, few really know what you are