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This girl is so confusing

  1. Nov 5, 2012 #1
    This girl is so confusing!!

    This Is kind of a long story.

    So right before the school year started, me and this girl talked all the time. I really liked her and she said she liked me. After a few weeks Into the year, I asked her to be my girlfriend. And she said yes! But then she broke up with me the day before homecoming.. we still went homecoming togethet tho. I spent the next week asking her what went wrong, why she broke up with me. She said that the feelings just went away. And that maybe they would come back. So one day we were talking and I tried to get her back, and she flat out said, "I've moved on from us" that kinds ended It. We didn't talk for two weeks. She sent me an apology text and asked if we could hang out again. At the time, I didnt know she already had another boyfriend. When I found out, I was crushed again. But she said that she was going to break up with him soon. And she did and now we are talking all the time again. Except she doesnt want a relationship again for awhile. But we talk like we are a couple. And there Is another guy now that Im pretty sure he likes her. And she doesn't do anything to stop him from flirting. Right In front of me too..
    So I'm not sure what to do about this. Can any one help?
    Thanks if uou have advice and alot of thanks if you actually read all that!
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 5, 2012 #2

    micromass

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    She's clearly only interested in you as a friend. I doubt things will work on. Sorry :frown: I think it's best if you moved on and accept the fact that things won't happen (it's not easy, I know, I never really succeeded in doing this).
     
  4. Nov 5, 2012 #3
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    I have a number of thoughts on this:

    1) She has little respect for you, and has no wish to be in a long term relationship.
    2) By coming back to her might make you seem a bit desperate.
    3) If she really likes you and wants to be with you, then she will notice your feelings. If she doesn't then it might do some good to distance yourself from her: she likes you - she notices, she doesn't - she won't notice, your gonna have to move on.
    4) I've been here but under less intense situations. I overcame it by getting another girlfriend and moving on, but I still remained friends with her. If you don't want to forget about her, then perhaps you should talk to her about your feelings. If you talk to her, ask her for a definitive answer, don't accept a maybe.
    5) My final piece of advice would be to just leave the relationship stuff and just leave it at friends. You'll still get to be with her and enjoy her company, and this has the advantage of a lack of the pressure of being in a relationship.
     
  5. Nov 5, 2012 #4

    micromass

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    How did you conclude that from his post??
     
  6. Nov 5, 2012 #5

    Pythagorean

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    Politely excuse yourself from her life. Politely. Being involved with her in any way is obviously not healthy for you.
     
  7. Nov 5, 2012 #6
    The thing is that she said she would like to be with me, just not now because it would make her look bad (she broke up with him a week ago)
     
  8. Nov 5, 2012 #7
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    micromass:

    by the way she is keeping him unsure of the situation between them; lots of "maybe"s "for a while"s. Also the "apology text, 'can we hang out again'" i think that kind of thing gives mixed messages, and is harsh. I myself hate being in a situation where i don't know if a girl likes me or not, they lead you on and make you think they like you, and then they're like 'no, where did you get that idea from'
     
  9. Nov 5, 2012 #8
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    Do whatever you want. You're young. If it works out for a while, great. If not, oh well, not the end of the world.

    She doesn't seem to give much value to her relationships, but what do we know about this stranger.
     
  10. Nov 5, 2012 #9

    Pythagorean

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    I'm with JizzaDaMan, textbook case of string-along.

    Either she's afraid of being mean, she wants a tag along, or we're wrong and she's genuinely confused and having trouble. I wouldn't hold my breath is all.
     
  11. Nov 5, 2012 #10

    micromass

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    OK, in that case, I do have to agree that she has little respect for you. Do like pyth said: remove yourself from her life, politely. I don't think the girl is very good for you and I think that you will be hurt more if you keep seeing her, even as a friend.
     
  12. Nov 5, 2012 #11
    we have actually talked about being long term, and she said she could see us being long term.
    And I thought about that, but I really care for her and don't want to lose the connection we had. But by no means am I desperate.
     
  13. Nov 5, 2012 #12

    Pythagorean

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    But those are just words, maybe just a social lubricant. Judge people by their actions, I think.
     
  14. Nov 5, 2012 #13
    And I try to! We to the movies all the time and talk. We even have really long hugs.. she means apt to me. But maybe your right and she's just saying words.
     
  15. Nov 5, 2012 #14
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    Sounds like she just doesn't know what she wants. I'd back off. Don't dump her out of your life, but just.. back off. Significantly. Can't make yourself too available or she'll just dilly-dally. If she thinks you're gonna move on, then she'll make her decision one way or another. Either way, things will be clarified.
     
  16. Nov 5, 2012 #15

    Pythagorean

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    I'm sure she appreciates the attention and companionship, but maybe more in a using way than a mutual way, you know? That's just how it seems from the outside, hearing it in text.
     
  17. Nov 5, 2012 #16
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    Yes, most likely she is just confused

    you really should give her the benefit of the doubt. Just be patient and understanding. It might be very rewarding.
     
  18. Nov 5, 2012 #17
    That's what I'm kinda going for. But how long is to long?
     
  19. Nov 5, 2012 #18

    micromass

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    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    If the situation is hurting you, then it is already too long. You do not want to be hurt by love for a long time.
     
  20. Nov 5, 2012 #19
    So what exactly should I do? I told her awhile ago that I would never just "stop" everything with her. She's had that done to.her a lot and I would hate to just be another guy that did that to her
     
  21. Nov 5, 2012 #20
    Re: This girl is so confusing!!

    I guess you're young. Patience for confused people to settle back is measured in several months maybe over a year. Really not a lot on a life time.
     
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