Should I tell my family about my struggles with depression and changing majors?

[Logical Dog]

In short, I changed major from business to CE, and don't really enjoy it.

I've never been too good at most academic stuff and struggled a lot due to personal stuff.

I got A*A*AABBBC in GCSE A* in chem and english.
A*BCcc in a level A* in economics. B in maths

First major I did was business economics, second Computer engineering for one semester, but I didn't enjoy it too much. I really struggle with depression due to family issues and just because I am perhaps more prone to it. I was the best at mechanics in a level and physics and chem in 10th grade.

I never won any competitions except debating and stuff. I like logic and math!
But I never feel like I lived up to any expectations. Also changing majors is probably not a good sign.

I am only good at 3d art, not so good with programming and computers otherwise I type very fast :/
I don't have many skills except I write well (some have said).

I feel totally guilty and incompetent. I am 21 years old.
I know my gpa will be very bad in engineering as I don't enjoy it.
I don't trust my feelings at all.

Should I do a major in something qualitative like history or psychology? I want to do math ahead but past history suggests I tread carefully.

Or is it time to forget academia?

 

[UsableThought]

Or is it time to forget academia?

I don't know where you're from, nor your background, nor what's easy or hard to do where you are & in your situation; but have you thought of not "forgetting" academia so much as simply taking a year or two away from it to get some other experiences? Depending on your money situation you could look to do either volunteer or paid work in nonprofits, or just regular work of some sort. Something small, creative, not necessarily high-paying but useful seems like it might fit you.

One of the things I regret about my own college years, long ago, was that I wanted to take a year off, as some friends had done, but didn't due to family pressure. I wished then & still do that I had insisted on it. I don't know what would have happened, but my friends found it very useful & I suspect I might have as well.

 

[BvU]

I read plenty positive things, but -- in character with your pen name -- you're very hard on yourself. I take it you have (or have considered) searching for some help; perhaps you can get over the barrier and see some light.
One argument for sticking to academia is that life is easier with a degree than without. UT thinks otherwise, but a 'sabbattical' early on isn't always ideal. Lots of people I know regret not having studied a bit further when still young and without too many impeding responsibilities.

One of the things I thought of when reading your post: management ! Bright, good at expressing in 3d, in written and spoken word. Get the BE or MBA if you can sustain the academic climate. Realize that business is tough, harsh and competitive. Sometimes unfair to boot

PS ever done a Myers-Briggs test ?

 

[Logical Dog]

get other experiences?

Yes but I am under real pressure by my family and society to finish SOMETHING and get a job, I appreciate what you are saying but I already finished school later thn others (not because I repeated but I missed a few years). I have zero money and work the bareminimum.

Im not so sure if I even have a choice, as being asian it is blasphemous to discuss this with family.
I think, I am too far "gone" in the mental sense, and must try to make the best of it.

 

[Logical Dog]

Myers-Briggs test ?

Only those online ones I got INTP

 

[dkotschessaa]

Are you positive you can't finish your existing degree? It may just be a time to stick with it,even though it may be difficult. Grades aren't everything. Finishing your degree in a sense is just the start of your education. It gives you a background to build whatever you want on top of it.

It's possible you like the subject more than you think you do, but that what you don't like is the way it's taught and the process of going through classes. When you finish you can do things your way. Certifications, books, online classes, change direction, whatever.

-Dave K

 

[BvU]

Yes but I am under real pressure by my family and society to finish SOMETHING and get a job, I appreciate what you are saying but I already finished school later thn others (not because I repeated but I missed a few years). I have zero money and work the bareminimum.

Im not so sure if I even have a choice, as being asian it is blasphemous to discuss this with family.
I think, I am too far "gone" in the mental sense, and must try to make the best of it.

The trait is recognizable and you're definitely not the only one to suffer under family expectations. Realize they are well-meant but misplaced. You're on your own in that respect and your last words do give me hope !
Any guidance obtainable from your university ? You can adequately describe the problem and are still motivated to work on a solution !

 

[Mmm_Pasta]

Have you spoken to a professional such as a counselor about your depression? Mental health issues have the potential to spiral out of control. If you decide to speak to one, you might also be able to find out what you want and ways to deal with your current situation. It sounds like you are very interested in math, but maybe the depression is making this rather difficult?

 

[BvU]

Only those online ones I got INTP

Guessed as much. But the debating, 3d, writing skills point at a fair portion of E(NTP) as well.

Einstein was INTP. I glowed with pride reading that.

 

[Logical Dog]

Are you positive you can't finish your existing degree?

yes.I will be failed even I stick around.

I am sure engineering isn't for me, any kind, you need breath of knowledge in computers, science and technology.

 

[Logical Dog]

Einstein

I really feel like in a rut, and what will people say? can someone who changed their mind so many times be entrusted WITH ANY kind of job?

incidentally life was much tougher during a levels/school but I didnt give up.

 

[BvU]

So, based on information you yourself provide, you're not a giver upper. Didn't give up then, don't give up now. FInd counseling so you don't have to do it all alone.

 

[Logical Dog]

professional such as a counselor

Yes, it was not for me!

 

[Rika]

Why don't you boost your 3d skills, make solid portfolio and get a job in it?

 

[dkotschessaa]

yes.I will be failed even I stick around.

I am sure engineering isn't for me, any kind, you need breath of knowledge in computers, science and technology.

I am not trying to prolong your suffering, but is it possible you could do better if you took less classes at a time and took a bit longer?

Just trying to find you a better option than quitting altogether...

Q: What do they call someone who finishes at the bottom of their class in med school?
A: Doctor!

 

[UsableThought]

UT thinks otherwise, but a 'sabbattical' early on isn't always ideal.

I think you're mischaracterizing what I wrote. I never said it was "always" ideal; I was merely suggesting it can be an option for some persons if it appeals to them. I was also careful to say that I didn't know the OP's particular situation.

 

[BvU]

I think you're mischaracterizing what I wrote. I never said it was "always" ideal; I was merely suggesting it can be an option and has been helpful for some persons. I was also careful to say that I didn't know his situation, etc. etc.

I agree. No harm intended, just clumsy wording.

 

[dkotschessaa]

I really feel like in a rut, and what will people say? can someone who changed their mind so many times be entrusted WITH ANY kind of job?

incidentally life was much tougher during a levels/school but I didnt give up.

School feels really important when you are doing it, and it feels really long, and it feels like every failure is a huge unrecoverable failure that will ruin your life.

Just sayin'.

 

[Logical Dog]

Just trying to find you a better option than quitting altogether...

I don't want to quit, but I don't enjoy the subjects. I failed programming, I am not just able to keep interest in it.

My plan WAS to go to a uni where you can declare your major at the end of the second year, and if things go bad then do a major in a qualitative subject, and then do an MBA as bvu suggested. But now I even doubt that.

 

[Logical Dog]

My only DREAM in life was the military, but due to health reasons I am disqualified to be an officer.

 

[Logical Dog]

Have you spoken to a professional such as a counselor about your depression? Mental health issues have the potential to spiral out of control. If you decide to speak to one, you might also be able to find out what you want and ways to deal with your current situation. It sounds like you are very interested in math, but maybe the depression is making this rather difficult?

Actually you are right, sorry, my experiences in the past with mental health workers weren't good. But I will find a private one.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Let's go with "some degree is better than none." And don't worry about switching majors. People do it. Nobody will care 5 years from now.

Is there a degree which

a) Has subjects that won't feel like torture and you can complete them
b) Utilizes classes and credits you've already earned thus minimizing the time to completion?

I have a friend who is brilliant in C.S. and ended up getting his degree in English due to problems with some of the courses as well as financial and time constraints (he was already working). He at least has a degree now and his next move is to take some classes as a non-degree seeking student so he can enroll in a graduate program in math or C.S.

-Dave K

 

[Logical Dog]

Let's go with "some degree is better than none." And don't worry about switching majors. People do it. Nobody will care 5 years from now.

Is there a degree which

a) Has subjects that won't feel like torture and you can complete them
b) Utilizes classes and credits you've already earned thus minimizing the time to completion?

I have a friend who is brilliant in C.S. and ended up getting his degree in English due to problems with some of the courses as well as financial and time constraints (he was already working). He at least has a degree now and his next move is to take some classes as a non-degree seeking student so he can enroll in a graduate program in math or C.S.

-Dave K

I have completed math 1, management , game theory, failed accounting, dropped out after first semester in business.
In engineering, I have only a math exam which I predict I will pass. yes, its disgusting.

So I think so.

 

[dkotschessaa]

I have completed math 1, management , game theory, failed accounting, dropped out after first semester in business.
In engineering, I have only a math exam which I predict I will pass. yes, its disgusting.

So I think so.

Hey, it's better than a slap in the face with a wet fish. (I don't know what that means, but I heard a Russian say it once).

Our soon to be secretary of energy, Rick Perry, got a D in "meats."

So you are already overqualified for working on team Trump.

So find a major that you are excited about and can finish. It really sounds like you like pure math. This doesn't have the highest straight-out-of-school job prospects, but you can build skills on top of that later or go to graduate school. (You might have to try once or twice or take some more classes after your bachelor's, so what).

You haven't mentioned stats. Things are happening now in the world of stats and data and it's less boring than I thought it would be. (You would have never talked me into it when I was stuck on doing "pure" math. I regret this attitude now).

-Dave K

 

[Logical Dog]

Why don't you boost your 3d skills, make solid portfolio and get a job in it?

I will try. thanks. I am not that good at anything and I am being completely honest here. I did once get a job doing 3d work (one time) but I didn't complete it(it was too much specifications and no freedom) and hence never got paid. :/ i can only do the skeletons but need to learn animations and textures.

 

[Choppy]

@Bipolar Demon

It is possible that university is not the right place for you right now.

Your first priority needs to be dealing with your depression. You need to be as healthy as you can be while pursuing an education. That doesn't mean that you need to be "cured" but as much as possible, you need to be in a place where it's not affecting your performance. That's something you need professional advice and guidance on.

The next thing to consider is as the title of the thread implies, whether this is the right time for you to be pursuing a university education. I understand the family and social pressure to complete a university education. But if you're (a) not enjoying the process and (b) have a serious risk of failing out, then exploring alternatives should definitely be on the table.

Have you thought about community college programs? Trades? You could look into some technical training that you could complete in a couple of years and then get into a job that pays a lot better than minimum wage. Once you have yourself financially stable, there's no reason you couldn't go back to university and do what you really love.

 

[Rika]

But you were good enough to get a freelance gig. It's a good sign. Tbh I think that in your case college degree is pretty useless. You struggle and you do it only to satisfy your family. You won't get any marketable skills by getting a random degree and since it's US - higher education costs a lot. So it's worth only if you can get solid professional degree like engineering or medicine or if you are very passionate about certain subject but I understand that you are not.

On the other hand in CG degree, grades, age and all that stuff doesn't matter. Portfolio is the only thing that matters. In US possibilities in CG education are so good that I'm almost envious. You can get best education online at CGMA or Digitaltutors. You can even complete 1 or 3-year professional program at Gnomon or other non-degree schools and for you it's much more cheaper than let's say history degree at regular college xD So why even bother? If you aren't sure what to study at college but you like 3d art then focus on making solid portfolio and getting a job.

 

[Logical Dog]

Once you have yourself financially stable, there's no reason you couldn't go back to university and do what you really love.

So why even bother? If you aren't sure what to study at college but you like 3d art then focus on making solid portfolio and getting a job.

good advise...I will consider and discuss these with family. :-) I didnt tel them my condition and a few other details out of shame. but that isn't helping.

 

[Choppy]

good advise...I will consider and discuss these with family. :-) I didnt tel them my condition and a few other details out of shame. but that isn't helping.

Unfortunately there is a stigma that comes with these kinds of conditions - as if the condition is somehow your own fault. You have a right to decide on what you tell them and what you don't, but sometimes if you really want their advice and help, it's best to put all your cards on the table. Often the trouble lies in just initiating the discussion. It's hard sit down over dinner and say "oh by the way, mom, I'm suffering from depression and it's affecting my schoolwork." It can help to set up a specific time where you can chat and focus on the issue and start with "I want to get your advice on something."

In most cases, people are more understanding than one might expect at first.