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To All The Usa Or Canada People

  1. Sep 15, 2006 #1
    Hey guys,

    I need your advice. I have been hired to play in a little clip that is going to be broadcasted on UK-television. How i got that part is a long story but fact is that i need to speak USA-English. So, i made a little clip, myself, with a piece of the text that i need to say. My question to you is : HOW IS THE ENGLISH ? Is it ok, way too much, or does it just SUCK ?

    Don't worry, you do not need to spare me. I really want an honest opinion. What can I do better ?


    [MEDIA=youtube]yXSOC41YY1w[/MEDIA]

    ps : cyrusabdollahi, no, no porn this time. I am sorry, i know you will be disappointed...:rofl: :wink:

    regards
    marlon
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 15, 2006 #2
    Sucks sorry. (actually that was harsh, it doesnt suck, but it doesnt sound so american)

    I can here your flemmish accent (its not so strong but its there) :)

    Its cool tho, perhaps you could do a Jean-Claude Van Damme accent?

    Americans typically speak more nasal than UK people, think of it like Netherlands V Flemmish accent, try more with the nose :)
     
  4. Sep 15, 2006 #3
    The "You really do deserve to die"-part reminds of Jean Reno. ;) Sorry, I don't have any constructive criticism to offer. Good luck!
     
  5. Sep 15, 2006 #4

    Moonbear

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    Pretty good American accent there! It sounds fairly urban, and from the lines you're saying, I'm guessing that's appropriate. You do have to work on which words you emphasize though to get across the right emotions.

    "You constantly ridicule me," doesn't sound right for the context though. If you were playing the part of a well-educated person, yes, but your character sounds more like a thug, so it wouldn't be a good word choice. I'm trying to think of better wording, but I'm thinking maybe it's more that a "tough guy" wouldn't bring up being ridiculed at all.

    And "you're having it off with my girlfriend" sounds very British. I'll send you a PM with alternatives on that one.
     
  6. Sep 15, 2006 #5

    Astronuc

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    Actually, that's not a bad accent for someone from NY City, possibly Manhattan, Queens or Brooklyn. It's reasonably American from a large Metropolitan area like Chicago or NY City, except for the phrasing as Moonbear pointed out.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
  7. Sep 15, 2006 #6

    Danger

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    It actually sounds like a mild Peurto Rican accent to me, which is quite common in the US and goes with your appearance. Generally I agree with Moonbear's opinion, except that the term 'having it off' is used in Canada. For that type of character, though, it's far too polite. :biggrin:
     
  8. Sep 15, 2006 #7

    Ivan Seeking

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    I think it sounds pretty good [very good actually] but I can definitely detect a slight accent.

    When you say money, it sounds to me more like monney. Try saying it like "munney"

    Be careful about rising inflections at the end of sentences. I noticed a few that sounded wrong.

    Also, when you say the word "to", I think you need to prolong the decay a bit.

    Finally, be careful not to sound melodic. To when you say "to much", there is a slight rhythm in addition to improper inflection, and as stated, a short decay on the word "to".
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2006
  9. Sep 15, 2006 #8
    Thanks. I know it is never going to be perfect but i just want to produce something that is credible and realistic.

    Ok, good advice. I will do that.

    I don't understand what you mean here. Could you point out a specfic error that i made and that tell me what i need to do to get it right ?

    You mean i need to prolong the "o". Like in to"oo" much ?

    I am sorry, but again, i don't quite understand. What exactly do you mean here ?

    Thank you very much for helping me out Ivan. Also many thanks to Moonbear, Danger, Astronuc for the good advice.

    marlon
     
  10. Sep 15, 2006 #9

    Moonbear

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    That's because it's not an Oregon accent. :biggrin: Danger may have called it though...maybe it's a bit of a Puerto Rican accent...but, it's tough to really say what's an "American" accent anyway. If you're in NYC or northern NJ, you'll hear a different accent every few blocks.

    Though, we should ask...is it supposed to be a "generic" American accent, or does the story define what part of the US the character is from? For example, that's definitely NOT an accent typical of the southern US, or the midwest. I would definitely place it as an East Coast city. Maybe Miami, maybe NYC.

    I listened to it three more times, specifically listening for that word. I don't hear anything wrong with it at all. It does sound like "munny" to me.

    I wasn't sure if he wanted us to just comment on the lines and accent, or if he wanted us to address the "acting" style as well. I figured he needs to get the lines down first. Right now, it doesn't sound like someone who's really angry, it does sound a bit like a dramatic monologue. But, I figured he needs to learn the right lines before he would work on getting the emotion to come across right.

    But, if that's part of it too, then for example, "I KNOW you're ----ing my girlfriend." Currently, "know" sort of rises and falls in inflection, and it needs to be "punched" more.

    Same with, "You really do deserve to die." I'm not sure where the emphasis belongs in that phrase, because I don't know the context. Is your character standing there about to execute someone for stealing his girlfriend, in which case the emphasis should be on deserve, and maybe drop the "do." "You really DESERVE to die," sort of justifying what he's about to do to him. On the other hand, if this is a warning to stay away from his girlfriend, and he's saying he ought to kill him for what he did, but is going to let him go this time, then emphasis should be on "die." "You really deserve to DIE." If the latter is the context, I'd suggest changing that line to something that's more of a direct threat. "Y'know, I oughta shoot you. You've been a lousy friend, going behind my back, stealing my money, and, now you're -----ing my girlfriend. Look, man, I know you're stealing to cover your debts; you gamble too much, you drink too much, AND you love the ladies too much...but, you* stay the hell away from mine!"

    *pronounce "but, you" more like "bu-chya"

    For the former scenario, one where you're about to kill the guy you caught sleeping with your girlfriend, maybe change up a few other lines,
    "Man, you DESERVE to die. You've been a lousy friend, going behind my back, stealing my money, and, now you're -----ing my girlfriend. Look, man, I know you were stealing to cover your debts; you gamble too much, you drink too much, AND you love the ladies too much...buT, you shoulda stayed the hell away from mine!"

    In this case, pronounce the T in "but" and pause for emphasis before "you." In the former example, it's all a threat with the anger seething below the surface still under control...barely, to be done in a low voice, maybe a lot of clenched teeth, but in the latter, it's not a threat, you're going to act on it, and you're telling the guy why you're about to put a bullet through his head.

    Your lines were good too. It just gives a different tone, so I'm offering these as alternatives depending on how the scene fits into the larger story line. Your version sounds more dramatized, like the sort of monologue a character in a daytime soap opera would speak, or what someone would say whose been thinking over it for a while and is more of a professional killer who is not acting out of anger/passion but has been plotting it for a while and the person he's about to kill is just another hit of many he's done before.
     
  11. Sep 15, 2006 #10

    Moonbear

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    Oh, one more thing. If it's anger you want to get across and not a slow, methodical, or thought out threat, then you need to talk a lot faster.
     
  12. Sep 15, 2006 #11

    arildno

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    Dearly Missed

    To me, the do-word in "you really do deserve to die" sounds rather stilted (or rather British, which goes for the same thing), unless you shift the emphasis from the word "really" to the word "do" itself (keep "really" unemphasized).
    If you want the emphasis somewhere else, "do" clogs up the sentence.

    Perhaps, as Moonbear suggested, you ought to drop it altogether.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2006
  13. Sep 15, 2006 #12
    Your bio says:

    HAHAHAH....you arrogant..%*^^#......I love it. :approve:

    What the HELL is this man???

    [MEDIA=youtube]nYPvCG0LwFs[/MEDIA]

    How do you still have a girlfriend??
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
  14. Sep 15, 2006 #13

    Monique

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    You've gotten good advice, do post the revised version. I was surprised one time that I was at a conference sitting at a dinner table when geographical locations came up, that someone pointed at me to be from Michigan.. while I would have expected them to ask me what country I was from :smile:
    A dutch friend of mine worked in the UK for a while, when she came back to the Netherlands she had a UK-friend with her. It was awkward: they both had a very strong UK-accent, I didn't know whether to speak US-english, dutch-english, or UK-english: the former I felt like an imposter, the latter I felt like an amateur, the middle I felt like a dumb Dutchman who doesn't know how to pronounce words properly :rolleyes:
     
  15. Sep 15, 2006 #14

    Astronuc

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    If one want's to study American accents, the Spencer Tracy or Henry Fonda are good examples.

    I also think, Gregory Peck, Rock Hudson, Clint Eastwood and Kirk Douglas are also good.
     
  16. Sep 15, 2006 #15

    Evo

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    I don't think Marlon wrote the script, he's merely speaking the lines. It's funny that most of the criticism is of the dialogue and not his accent. :tongue:

    Marlon, that's incredibly good considering the fact that you aren't surrounded by American/English speaking people. If I wasn't looking for an accent I might not have noticed anything.

    I agree, the script writers are more of a concern than your accent.
     
  17. Sep 15, 2006 #16

    chroot

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    Monique, my dear, I would pay good money to hear you speaking "dumb Dutchman" english!

    - Warren
     
  18. Sep 15, 2006 #17

    JasonRox

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    I think the comments Moonbear pointed were good.

    Anyways, the acting was good too. I'm impressed.
     
  19. Sep 15, 2006 #18
    I just listen to it again, and on the 2nd run it did sound a lot more American than I first thought... hmmm Peurto Rica is about right, kinda gansterish

    Anyway, what are you appearing in?
     
  20. Sep 15, 2006 #19
    I smell a copy cat..........:rofl: It's painfully obvious your trying to be like your hero Jack.

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Sep 15, 2006 #20
    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

    You have waaay to much time on your hands...
     
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