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Today's giggle

  1. Sep 15, 2013 #1

    davenn

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    a giggle for Monday

    enjoy....

    Speeding in Florida

    A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

    He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

    Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

    The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "You have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


    D
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 15, 2013 #2
    :rofl:
     
  4. Sep 15, 2013 #3

    drizzle

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    Lolol!:rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  5. Sep 19, 2013 #4
    looooooool
     
  6. Apr 17, 2014 #5

    davenn

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    a giggle for today

    found on Facebook :smile:


    attachment.php?attachmentid=68750&stc=1&d=1397777838.jpg

    cheers
    Dave
     

    Attached Files:

  7. Apr 17, 2014 #6

    berkeman

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    Staff: Mentor

    The timeline actually continues to the right up to the present year. There's just nothing to show... :smile:
     
  8. Apr 18, 2014 #7

    PhysicoRaj

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    Ha Ha Ha..:rofl:
     
  9. Apr 19, 2014 #8

    davenn

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    haha I hadn't considered that observation :)

    Dave
     
  10. Apr 19, 2014 #9

    adjacent

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    What will happen if it was extended to antiquity?
     
  11. Apr 20, 2014 #10

    PhysicoRaj

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    Just don't mention it..:biggrin:
     
  12. Jun 13, 2014 #11
    Nowadays in a modern world, it has been upgraded to sleeping with no undies on. That depends on the wearer's mood though.
     
  13. Jun 19, 2014 #12

    davenn

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    joke for the day

    Two factory workers are talking.
    The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
    The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
    The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
    The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
    The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
    The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
    The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
    The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

    cheers
    Dave
     
  14. Jun 21, 2014 #13

    PhysicoRaj

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    :tongue: :smile:
     
  15. Jun 21, 2014 #14

    adjacent

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    :rofl:
    Then the boss is a fool
     
  16. Jul 14, 2014 #15

    davenn

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    Todays funny

    attachment.php?attachmentid=71317&stc=1&d=1405319086.jpg

    :wink:

    Dave
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Oct 2, 2014
  17. Jul 15, 2014 #16
    Do they also live in the dark side and eat cookies? :)
     
  18. Jul 16, 2014 #17

    davenn

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    Comedy for the day

    nay a truer word spoken :wink:


    attachment.php?attachmentid=71416&stc=1&d=1405572828.jpg

    cheers
    Dave
     

    Attached Files:

    • 2014.JPG
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  19. Jul 28, 2014 #18
    Now that is a good idea!!
     
  20. Aug 10, 2014 #19

    davenn

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    Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
    Disorder. This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my garden.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

    My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day:

    The garden didn't get watered

    The car isn't washed

    The bills aren't paid

    There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

    The flowers don't have enough water,

    There is still only 1 check in my check book,

    I can't find the remote,

    I can't find my glasses,

    And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

    I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

    Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

    Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

    cheers
    Dave
     
  21. Aug 10, 2014 #20
    It's not me yet, but I definitely recognize the pattern, so I might be going down that road...:tongue2:
     
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