# Two Atoms Walk Into A Bar

1. Nov 9, 2003

### sandinmyears

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I've lost my electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

2. Nov 9, 2003

### zare

hahaha. but he is no more hydrogen, he's proton

3. Nov 10, 2003

### jimmy p

ARGH!!! that was terrible man!! that was so bad, you just have to laugh!!!

4. Nov 10, 2003

### LURCH

Yes, I got a charge out of it as well.

Certainly sounds like these are two fellows to keep an ion.

I understand theer was another atom in that bar, but he had to split.

Must have gone fission.

(stop me before I kill again)

5. Nov 10, 2003

### sandinmyears

I hear "Fission Chips" is the special for the evening at the bar.

6. Nov 10, 2003

### sandinmyears

THIS ONE'S EVEN WORSE:

Why did the cat fall off the roof?
Because he lost his mu.
(mew=sound cats make, mu=coeff of friction)

7. Nov 10, 2003

### zare

8. Nov 10, 2003

### Mattius_

Haha, only a physicist would be that critical, i love it.

9. Nov 10, 2003

### Jonathan

I thought these were pretty good, man I'm dull...

10. Nov 10, 2003

### sandinmyears

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

11. Nov 11, 2003

### Mentat

Oh!! The other's were funny, though slightly lame...this one's reached new levels of lameness (and is, surprisingly, still funny) .

12. Nov 11, 2003

### decibel

maybe ur sense of humor is lame, lol

13. Nov 11, 2003

### jimmy p

Here is a few extremely poor science jokes for ya....well they have sciency punchlines

Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: It was polar.

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Q: What do you do when you find a dead chemist?
A: Barium.

See what i mean??

14. Nov 11, 2003

### LURCH

I've heard of coming out of your shell, but this is just shocking.

Sorry, I know my puns are revotling, but they're so current.

15. Nov 12, 2003

### zare

three women get trapped on desert island. stranded and left to die, their only hope is goldfish they just caught. goldfish says that she normally delivers three wishes, but since three of them caught her, one wish per person.

so the first women says, i want to be smarter. goldfish turns her into female master physicist. then women calculates parabolic trajectory of jump using wooden stick as elevator, and makes parachute having in mind average density of air and calculated drag force. she jumps and succedes to get to land safely.

when second women saw that, she said she wants to be even smarter. goldfish turns her into female master elecric engineer. then she makes power generator with iron core she just digged out and refined from nearby mountian, uses carbon debris to make wireing, and anhoter iron stick as rotor. with her nowledge of electrochemisty she manufactures electrolytic acid and uses it as capacitor that she charges via her generator. she makes a wooden plate and hooks up generator to capacitor, now in the role of electroengine, and connects wooden proppeler to rotor. short burst of current is enough to give enough speed, and with some manual drifting she manages to save herself too.

now the third one, fascinated, says she wants to be smarter than both. goldfish turns her into man, and man crosses the bridge

16. Nov 12, 2003

### sandinmyears

SUBATOMIC PARTICLE STORE
The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.
Electrons: $0.10 Protons :$0.10
Neutrons : free of charge

What is the defition of ELECTRON?
What the US did in 1980 and 1984. (Ronald Reagan)

17. Dec 9, 2003

### pallidin

A quark walks up to the bar, and seems too friendly with the bartender.
The bartender asks: Are you a little queer?

18. Dec 11, 2003

### heumpje

One day you find yourself lost in mathland again...
You see x walking around and make a talk about the weather. After a while, x2 and ex join you. The conversation moves to more small talk when suddenly 1 comes running by. "The differential operator is coming!" he screams. x and x2 look around nervously and tell you that they have to split.
"What's that all about?" you ask ex. "Oh, that's the diff. operator d/dx, when he gets close he has to act. For 1 it's especially nasty since he will completely vanish and also for x and x2 it's quite irritating." he says. "To me it doesn't matter, however, since I will transform into my old self again.".
And with a "poof" he suddenly vanishes. You here a soft noise behind you and you turn around. "Hi," says the diff. operator, "I'm d/dy."