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Was this woman interested in dating me?

  1. Aug 3, 2014 #1
    I am a 33 year old heterosexual man, and I am only 5'1". It is very difficult for me to find women who are interested in dating me because I am so short (among other reasons). Sometimes people who know about this problem of mine foolishly suggest to me that I should try to date short women. Short women have a preference against short men just as much as tall women do. The women I should attempt to date/start a relationship with are unattractive women, not short women per se.

    When I was 24 years old, I was a cashier at a grocery store. One of my co-workers was another cashier who was a 45 year old woman named Cathy who is 4'10". Sometimes I have heard people say that a rather ugly person is of average looks, and these people just mean that the (ugly) person is not good looking. Cathy was of average looks, and I mean Cathy was literally average (I would estimate Cathy looked better than 50% of 45 year old women). I definitely was interested in dating Cathy, but I thought that she was way out of my league so I did not want to bother attempting it.

    One time Cathy asked me, "How tall are you?" I responded, "I am five feet one." She said, "I am 4'10". When I was dating guys when I was younger, the guys that I dated were all six feet tall or taller, but the guy I ended up marrying was only five feet four." That conversation now makes me think that maybe Cathy was interested in dating me, but it did not occur to me at the time that she could have been interested in dating me. I thought she was hinting to me that it is possible that I could get a girlfriend despite being short, but I did not think that she was hinting that I had a chance with her. I thought also that she would never be interested in me because she is 21 years older than I am.

    What do you people think? Do you think that Cathy was interested in dating me/ potentially being in a relationship with me?
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 3, 2014 #2
    I think the first is certainly true. As for the second, I think it was probably a 'theoretical' hint, by which I mean you did stand a chance with her in theory, but that there were too many practical obstacles in the way. The age gap possibly being one of them. I'd say she was confessing an attraction but also informing you she wasn't going to take it anywhere in practice.
  4. Aug 8, 2014 #3


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    She was married?
  5. Aug 8, 2014 #4


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    I have a (lady) friend who is 5'10" (a few inches taller than I am) and her husband is 5'4" tall. They don't seem to have a problem!
  6. Aug 10, 2014 #5
    In my humble opinion, based on my experience on the planet, I've found that, as a general rule, women like men who are "taller." Taller than what? Well, maybe taller than 5'10". But especially taller than 6 foot, which is kind of a round number. I don't know if they want a guy as tall as Lew Alcindor, who, incidently, hit on my mom at a party at UCLA in the 60's. I think her roommate may have hooked up with him (but I digress).

    Tall is better, BUT, from what I've garnered from talking with women over the decades, and just observation in general, is that the most important thing is simply that guy is taller than them. So, if you got a guy that is 5'3", the woman won't really mind too much if she is 5'1".

    Maybe I'm wrong. Women of PF please chime in..
  7. Aug 16, 2014 #6

    Yes; she was formerly married. She had already been divorced from her ex-husband for years when this conversation took place in 2005.
  8. Aug 16, 2014 #7


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    @bluemoon: why are you interested in something that happened so long ago?
  9. Aug 17, 2014 #8


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    Didn't mean to make you feel bad about it; just hoped to make you think about it.
  10. Aug 18, 2014 #9


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    Hard to say.I'm curious as to why you're wondering about this 9 years later?

    Next time you're wondering about whether a woman likes you or not, try to talk with her and flirt a little.Who knows where it will take you?
  11. Aug 20, 2014 #10


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    I'm probably a little dense about these things, but I wouldn't think she was hinting about dating anyone, let alone her. That sounds like some random fact about herself - somewhat similar to the random facts Forrest Gump tended to make about chocolates.
  12. Aug 22, 2014 #11


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    In my experience, many (heterosexual & bisexual) women that I know of are attracted to men who are tall but not so tall that they look "freakish" or are too physically intimidating to make them feel uncomfortable. Thus around the 5'11" to 6'3" range. Male friends of mine who are taller than this (i.e. extremely tall) have at times complained to meabout the difficulty of finding dates in part of because of their heights, not unlike men that I know of who are extremely short.

    Of course, it's worth keeping in mind that height is just one factor or characteristic among many, and different women may not place as much importance on this or the other factor in terms of their attraction, and the same can be said of men as well.

    To the OP: like others who have posted, I'm curious as to why you're wondering about a co-worker being attracted after 9 years. It just seems a little silly to me to wonder about such events that took place so long ago.
  13. Aug 27, 2014 #12
    Hi OP
    Dating is very multi-factoral. Height is a factor, sure, but women are usually driven by their genes to seek out good health, good economics and reasonable social skills. Their genes don't have a lot to say about height if all the other boxes get checked. One of my ex's has become engaged to someone she described to me as short, fat and bulgy eyed. His strengths were that he was super-intelligent, very comfortable with himself and well-off.

    So you can overcome a vertical challenge by playing to other strengths. Women do demonstrate a wonderful unfussiness about the details when they find someone they like. They date the strangest men - Steven Hawking got a date - you really have to wonder how that works. And Werner Heisenberg may or may not have got a date - we may never know.

    As to your tiny co-worker. Probably she wasn't angling for a date. She was just sharing a bit of gossip. In my experience women are better at communication attraction than men, and more so the older they get, so if she wanted you, you'd know all about it.

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