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What do girls/women look for in men?

  1. Oct 26, 2006 #1
    I think there is a fundamental difference between girls and women. And therefore they look for different things in men.


    Give me your thoughts(especially if you are female):



    What do girls/women look for in men?

    Does a man's personal achievement/career goals mean anything to a girl? To a woman?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 26, 2006 #2

    Moonbear

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    I'm going to assume that by "girl" you mean teenagers (just to clarify some sort of age range). Yes, maturity changes what one looks for in the opposite sex (I think the same is true for teen boys vs adult men). Teenage girls pretty much are just looking at who is "cute." Once one reaches adulthood and matures more (not really a magic switch that happens at 18, but something gradual and at different ages for different people), a man's achievements, intelligence, goals, worth ethic become more important. Though, again that depends on the individual. Some women will always put appearances ahead of all other traits, and some will always put intelligence or work ethic ahead of all other traits.
     
  4. Oct 26, 2006 #3

    Evo

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    I agree, most teenage girls are looking for a "cute" guy. Of course, who is "cute" differs greatly from one girl to another. I also looked for "smart" guys, and if he read a lot of science fiction, that was an added bonus.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  5. Oct 26, 2006 #4

    JasonRox

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    I think Evo and Moonbear summed it up just right.
     
  6. Oct 26, 2006 #5
    I{woman}always look for a good sense of humor first. Then I look at how he treats other people, and how others treat him. Then I look at how he spends his free time.
    I was lucky to meet someone who got A+ in all of those...so I married him!
    So for me, career means very little, but when I was 20 it was a whole different story.
     
  7. Oct 26, 2006 #6

    Astronuc

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    How about . . . .

    trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly,
    courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful,
    thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. :biggrin:
     
  8. Oct 26, 2006 #7

    Moonbear

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    Sounds like you're describing a dog. :rofl:

    I also agree with Hypatia that sense of humor is important, but I also think that ties in with intelligence (in the broad sense of the term, not necessarily in an IQ-constrained definition)...you're more likely to "get" or appreciate someone's sense of humor if you're compatible at an intellectual level.
     
  9. Oct 26, 2006 #8
    Wow, you remembered all of the law in order as well. Unfortunatly, the girls seemed to think less of me and my friends while we were in Boy Scouts.
     
  10. Oct 26, 2006 #9

    Astronuc

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    Actually theCandyman recognized it, the twelve attributes of the Scout Law - it describes that to which a Boy Scout should aspire.

    Those are also good qualities for a husband as well as a dog. :biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  11. Oct 26, 2006 #10

    DaveC426913

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    How about a man who knows what he wants?

    That's the number one I've most often heard women look for.
     
  12. Oct 26, 2006 #11

    Astronuc

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    When I was in scouts, I met some very nice girl scouts. :tongue2:

    Our scout troop was somewhat atypical. Our scout leaders used to bring 6-packs of beer on camping trips, and I and a few other older scouts (15+) would join the leadership meeting and drink beer. :biggrin:
     
  13. Oct 26, 2006 #12
    I look for a man whos got a sense of humour, is intellegent and hard working (sometimes hard to find), some one who actually will go out of his way once in a while (I don't want to always make the sacrifice), someone I can have a great time with. I do think past achievements count for something.
     
  14. Oct 26, 2006 #13

    Astronuc

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    Boys look for different things than men. There is a difference between young and old - it's called experience. People pass through stages, and perhaps the most difficult stage is the one between adolescencs and adulthood. Some make the transition quickly, some take a long time, and some never make it.

    As for what a woman wants, that depends on the woman. Each person has different wants and needs, based on different initial conditions and different histories.

    My wife gave me a birthday card recently which has the following:

    I love your strength,
    for you are the wind to my sails.

    I love your dependability,
    for being there without fail.

    I love your integrity
    for the honorable path you take.

    I love your free spirit
    for the adventure of life you make.

    I love your courage,
    for you bring out the braver side of me.

    I love you,
    for everthing you are
    means the world to me.


    I signed on for a lifetime with this woman.

    It means being there through thick and thin,
    in sickness and in health, for rich or poor,
    for better or for worse, till one of us ceases to be.

    My job is to catch her if she falls, and better yet,
    be there so she doesn't fall.

    We had our ups and downs, but we stay together.

    I care about her, and she cares about me.
    She is my friend, and I hers. :smile:
     
  15. Oct 27, 2006 #14
    I did not date much in High School. I was younger than my class and didn't really know many girls in the classes below mine. It always astounded me the jerks that girls dated the most in school. The thing the girls seemed to gravitate to was self confidence (otherwise I could not explain how some of the lumps with ears that played football could find dates).

    IMHO, as intelligence becomes more of an asset (college, work force) the nerds gain confidence and women find them more attractive.
     
  16. Oct 27, 2006 #15

    mathwonk

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    this reminds me of a phrase garrison keillor once used, "the myth of male attractiveness".

    some women may look for a man who attracts them, especially young women, but just as often, a man can appeal to a woman by supporting her. I.e. a woman appreciates a person who helps her achieve her aspirations and dreams, as much as she falls over for a man who has achieved his.

    have you seen sophia loren's husband of a lifetime, carla ponti? she said no to cary grant.

    Anyone, no matter how plain, can be entertaining, supportive, and enabling to his partner, and intelligence is an asset here in trying to understand how to make ones partners life better and happier.

    Even just paying judicious compliments, and refraining from unkind criticism, makes a man surprizingly attractive.

    In the earlier, immature days, maybe seeming cute or exciting is key, but anyone clever can pretend to be exciting (did you see "true lies"?). It is hard to pretend to be nurturing.

    It helps to like women, and to really care about your own partner, as people like being liked. [liking them is different from desiring them.]

    An amusing film, that not everyone likes, is Don Juan de Marco, ostensibly about seduction, but the (old, fat, bald) Marlon Brando character shows late romantic growth by saying to his wife: "I want to know what your hopes and dreams are, that got pushed aside while i was thinking about myself." His astonished (and still beautiful) wife Faye Dunaway, responds "I thought you'd never ask!"


    what do you think of these thoughts, ladies?
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2006
  17. Oct 27, 2006 #16
    I agree with this. But I found that most of the girls didn't mind being a friend/mother figure/lab partner, but not a date to this type (unless they were also in the nerd classification). So when their jock boyfriends used them and dumped them, they had someone to turn to. (Do I sound bitter?)

    I actually found a great girl in high school who I later married and am still happily married to today (although Evo and I share a purely Platonic relationship that my wife would not in any way mind).:biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2006
  18. Oct 27, 2006 #17

    Evo

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    Also, geeks/nerds need to believe that when a woman tells them she finds them attractive, she's serious.

    When I tell a guy I find him attractive, they answer that they've never considered themselves attractive, never had women find them atractive, therefore, I must be lying. AAARRRGGGHHH. I'm NOT other women.

    I think David Deutsch is a hottie.
     

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  19. Oct 27, 2006 #18

    mathwonk

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    Evo hit an important note: your woman is not just another women. she wants to be noticed and appreciated for who she is.

    and by the way evo, may we older dudes suggest you forget, at least temporarily, about the guy who cant be bothered with dating you because you live far away? you dont need that.

    perhaps many of you are in the young dating stages of life. at those stages, many things go as learning experiences. Guys like me are talking about making life choices.


    Dating should just be fun, and harmless. Even if one seems invisible to women who fall for neanderthals, this will pass. I recall a geeky phi beta kappa in college who never dated. A few years later, as grad students, when he was a star, i enviously saw him walking with a gorgeous young woman who only had eyes for him. he even looked relatively stylish and certainly confident in her reflection.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2006
  20. Oct 27, 2006 #19

    mathwonk

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    by the way, for guys who lament that the airhead with the great figure chooses christian (him) over cyrano (you) [see roxanne, with steve martin], you may be better off not having her bear your offspring, as your kids would perhaps never get into the college of their choice [unless they are recruited by the coach].
     
  21. Oct 27, 2006 #20
    courage, trust, compassion, brilliance
    a good physique is considerable! :blushing: lolx


    btw evo, just a girl to another----we need someone who is THERE for us!o:)
    so do men/boys----they need their girl to be there fo them too---i think!
     
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