What does a woman value MOST in a man?

[Clausius2]

This is a poll to discover how the hell a woman thinks.

As you can check, the option "1+2+3+4+5" is forbidden. Such men are not found in this planet.

I also want to make a complaint about the limit of 100 characters in each option as the system requires. That's a pity, because each option has lost crucial information because of that reduction.

 

[Janitor]

I hope you will get some female input on this.

I find that I am rejected on the basis of my looks before they even have time to know me well enough to reject me based on my income.

 

[spender]

Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.

 

[loseyourname]

Depends on country,in N.America women go for money and looks only.

There goes spender with another wonderfully enlightened statement. Is there a particular reason that you say things like this? Have you even ever stepped foot on North American soil?

 

[Bladibla]

Wait, so we have to WAIT for women to tick the poll? That'll take some time..

 

[Clausius2]

In order to obtain an accurate result, please men do not taunt this poll voting. I think voting is only morally allowed to women. If all of us start to vote, we won't come to any real conclusion.

 

[Bladibla]

In order to obtain an accurate result, please men do not taunt this poll voting. I think voting is only morally allowed to women. If all of us start to vote, we won't come to any real conclusion.

Exactly my thoughts. Men answering the poll would be..not usual, should we say :)

 

[Moonbear]

I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).

 

[Clausius2]

Wait, so we have to WAIT for women to tick the poll? That'll take some time..

There are 10 or so over here. That is a small universe, but enough to obtain statiscal data.

 

[Clausius2]

I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).

Conclusion: I am your man.

 

[Bladibla]

There are 10 or so over here. That is a small universe, but enough to obtain statiscal data.

Fair enough. But would they be enthusiastic to asnwer to such a thread?

 

[Evo]

I also want to make a complaint about the limit of 100 characters in each option as the system requires. That's a pity, because each option has lost crucial information because of that reduction.

You can always add any further clarifications in your post.

I'd say number two has two of the important things I look for in a man, but there are other qualities that I look for.

I remember reading an article in the newspaper a few years ago about a couple in their 90's that had been married almost 80 years and were still as much in love as they were when they first met. The wife said that her mother told her to "look for a man with a kind face". So that's what she did. That bit of advice has stayed with me. Not so much in appearance but as a personality trait.

I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.

 

[Bladibla]

I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).

Judging from your manner of speaking, are you talking from personal experience?

Just curious

 

[Moonbear]

Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.

Spender, that is not the least bit true. See my reply above. Money is pretty far down near the bottom of the list. Heck, there are still quite a lot of people who get married young, before they have even gotten beyond entry level jobs, and struggle through those first years together. Those who get married later are usually already pretty self-sufficient and financially secure on their own, so the income of their partner really doesn't matter.

 

[spender]

There goes spender with another wonderfully enlightened statement. Is there a particular reason that you say things like this? Have you even ever stepped foot on North American soil?

Ooops ! sorry I meant women in N.America first and foremost care about guy personality and intelligence, money and appereance does not register on their radar screen at all NO WAY MAN !
Pleazze moderator person,don't ban me ok.

 

[Evo]

Ok, only two women have responded to the thread so far, so some guy has voted for option #3, that vote doesn't count.

 

[Clausius2]

What about the option 5?

Please be sincere and admit that most women behave that way. Why?

 

[Moonbear]

Judging from your manner of speaking, are you talking from personal experience?

Just curious

Actually, yes. I thought that was what Clausius was looking for, our own personal opinions, which of course are based on personal experience.

I can't think of anyone I've ever dated who I was physically attracted to when I first met him. Not that they were necessarily unattractive, just not someone you'd pick out of a crowd as "hot." I became attracted to them through conversation. Once the conversation got interesting, then everything about them became interesting.

I actually find it a turn-off for a guy to walk up to me in a bar or club and based on appearances alone, ask me out for a date or request my phone number, etc. If, instead, they ask to join me at a table and sit down to have a conversation, and if the conversation goes well, I'm far more likely to be receptive to trading numbers or going on a date.

 

[Moonbear]

What about the option 5?

Please be sincere and admit that most women behave that way. Why?

No, I don't think that's the case at all, though if someone is more interested in superficial traits, like appearances before intelligence, then 5 is more likely to go along with that. As we've discussed before, superficial people attract other superficial people.

 

[Evo]

I have to agree with Moonbear on #5. I really dislike men that are into playing games. There are stupid women that are into games, but why would you want to pursue a woman like that? If you run across a woman/girl that fits #5, she's a loser (personality), move on.

 

[Clausius2]

Actually, yes. I thought that was what Clausius was looking for, our own personal opinions, which of course are based on personal experience.

I can't think of anyone I've ever dated who I was physically attracted to when I first met him. Not that they were necessarily unattractive, just not someone you'd pick out of a crowd as "hot." I became attracted to them through conversation. Once the conversation got interesting, then everything about them became interesting.

I actually find it a turn-off for a guy to walk up to me in a bar or club and based on appearances alone, ask me out for a date or request my phone number, etc. If, instead, they ask to join me at a table and sit down to have a conversation, and if the conversation goes well, I'm far more likely to be receptive to trading numbers or going on a date.

Although I value your opinion, it depends on how the girl-woman is. We don't know how are you physically. I have experienced that most women who are not very pretty thinks that way (statiscally confirmed). Maybe you are the exception. Those women give more importance to such characteristics as intelligence, personality and capacity to sustain a good conversation. That's because they are sure it is their great internal value and not their appearance, and they desire such characteristics because they hope we are going to search the same.

On the other hand, beautiful women look for beautiful men or well professionally positioned men, no matter how stupid are such men.

Am I right? Or is this only a popular legend? Am I the unique who thinks that way?.

 

[Astronuc]

Gentlemen - READ THIS QUOTE VERY CAREFULLY!

I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.

And read it again and again, until it sinks in.

Notice - money is not mentioned. But hopefully, the man is self-sufficient.

Not clingy means 'self-assured', but not 'self-absorbed' or 'narcissitic'.


Interesting options.

An outstanding professional status may precluded emotional support if the man is focussed more on his work. I presume a man, who would make a good match, has good work ethic.

What's with the extremes of #5. Pay no attention, or flirting?

I like Moonbear's response in the bar - a man should invite a woman to engage in conversation, as in "Pardon me, may I join you" or "would you care to join me". That applies to out-of-the-blue situations.

I met my wife through friends. We simply kept encountering one another. The group included couples and singles. We got together at various houses or apartments for meals, music (some played instruments like guitar) or discussions about various subject (like GD or PF forums). This gave my wife and I an opportunity to see how the other thought or felt, and how the other interacted with others. We eventually started dating, and 3 months later I proposed. We were engaged one year while we completed our undergraduate programs, and then go married and went to grad school together.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I don't understand what is meant by "commuters" in option 4. I haven't voted. I don't see what I am looking for on the menu.

 

[Clausius2]

I don't understand what is meant by "commuters" in option 4. I haven't voted. I don't see what I am looking for on the menu.

Sorry for my poor language. With commuter I mean a man who always go to work everymorning and do the same kind of life every day. A bored guy, in fact.


What are you looking for?

EDIT: I always thought a commuter was one of these guys walking to the office with his suitcase, a typical worker.

 

[dextercioby]

Aren't the guys which go to work each morning by public transportation (subway especially) COMMUTERS...?Or did he mean "commutators"...?

Daniel.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Sorry for my poor language. With commuter I mean a man who always go to work everymorning and do the same kind of life every day. A bored guy, in fact.

What are you looking for?

ok, now I understand. hmmm.. I think I might be a female commuter.
I think the two most important qualities in a man are a good sense of humor and a kind heart. Everything else is icing on the cake.

 

[Clausius2]

I cannot believe that. What happens if he is a very fat guy, or he is very ugly (horrible)? What happens if he is the man who sweeps the streets every morning?. Will it be the same?.

 

[dextercioby]

Not if he sweeps the streets with his fat ass...That's unacceptable...

Daniel.

 

[spender]

Aren't the guys which go to work each morning by public transportation (subway especially) COMMUTERS...?Or did he mean "commutators"...?

Daniel.

I think it means losers.

 

[Clausius2]

"Pardon me, may I join you" or "would you care to join me". That applies to out-of-the-blue situations.

Be sure I am going to remember that sentence if eventually I go to UCSD.

 

[spender]

, so some guy has voted for option #3, that vote doesn't count.

Yes, I did it again.it was me.

 

[Kerrie]

Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.

maybe that would have been true in the 50's, but this is the 21st century, and i know many women who make more then their man and are able to support themselves without reliance upon his money. stop watching nick at night for your social skills.

 

[polyb]

I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.

I have all of those qualities and yet you still rejected me. Oh well, c'est la vie, c'est la guerre! You had your chance Evo, but it is too late now! I have decided that celebacy is now my fate.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Not if he sweeps the streets with his fat ass...That's unacceptable...

Daniel.

Daniel, you are a riot.

I've dated skinny guys, buff guys, heavy guys... I've dated unemployed guys and I've dated millionaires (and even a few unemployed millionaires )..
all of them good-hearted and fun to be around. That's what's important.

 

[Smurf]

I have all of those qualities and yet you still rejected me. Oh well, c'est la vie, c'est la guerre! You had your chance Evo, but it is too late now! I have decided that celebacy is now my fate.

Phew, Close one.

 

[Kerrie]

i met my husband the modern way-online. we had no physical contact, and only a picture to see one another. gradually we talked on the phone, communication between us was very important. what attracted me to him was his sincerity (no games), he had his own interests (independence), and just as Evo stated above, he had a kind face. after 3 months of talking long distance (3000 miles!), he moved out to me, we married 2-1/2 years later.

sincerity is #1 with me. it's easy to pick up on the sincerity beyond the words because you can see with his actions where his heart really is. reliability is another quality i admire in a man, but that is a stron quality i have within myself, thus i look for it in others in general. i think sincerity coupled with independence and a sense of humor can really make up a good personality. i certainly don't need a man who wants to be entertaining 24/7, but a sense of humor is essential.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Yes, I did it again.it was me.

so we're all very clear now on what spender is looking for in a man.

 

[Bladibla]

i met my husband the modern way-online. we had no physical contact, and only a picture to see one another. gradually we talked on the phone, communication between us was very important. what attracted me to him was his sincerity (no games), he had his own interests (independence), and just as Evo stated above, he had a kind face. after 3 months of talking long distance (3000 miles!), he moved out to me, we married 2-1/2 years later.

sincerity is #1 with me. it's easy to pick up on the sincerity beyond the words because you can see with his actions where his heart really is. reliability is another quality i admire in a man, but that is a stron quality i have within myself, thus i look for it in others in general. i think sincerity coupled with independence and a sense of humor can really make up a good personality. i certainly don't need a man who wants to be entertaining 24/7, but a sense of humor is essential.

So much for me getting a relationship then. I'm lazy, and unreliable.

Oh well, time to get a nice cottage in the middle of the rocky mountains

 

[Evo]

I cannot believe that. What happens if he is a very fat guy, or he is very ugly (horrible)? What happens if he is the man who sweeps the streets every morning?. Will it be the same?.

I've dated guys that were considered ugly, I've dated many men that made very little money, most men I meet make less than me, I haven't really met any terribly overweight men, most nerdy types are thin for some reason, but that would not put me off if he had the traits I was looking for. As a matter of fact when I was videoconferencing there was a guy that was overweight, and he was smart and charming and witty, I tried flirting with him, but he wasn't interested in me.

 

[polyb]

Phew, Close one.

At least your only short coming was your age! You still have a chance with her daughters!

For myself, as usual I am left clueless as to why I was rejected so that has lead me to the conclusion that I am rejected by the totality of the females of our species. At least my cat still loves me though!

I guess I could not hold a torch to the great 'humanino'.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I guess I could not hold a torch to the great 'humanino'.

*fires up blowtorch* Let me do it.

 

[dextercioby]

*fires up blowtorch* Let me do it.

*blows up firetorch*.Let me do it...Double



Daniel.

P.S.Humanino is a nice guy,especially when he's on fire...

 

[Evo]

*fires up blowtorch* Let me do it.

 

[polyb]

*blows up firetorch*.Let me do it...Double



Daniel.

P.S.Humanino is a nice guy,especially when he's on fire...

Both of you better be careful or you'll find yourselves exiled by the 'super-mentor' overlord!

All hail the great, illustrious, intelligent, beautiful, wondorous Evo!
All hail the great, illustrious, intelligent, beautiful, wondorous Evo!
All hail the great, illustrious, intelligent, beautiful, wondorous Evo!

I am not even worthy of mentioning the great one's name, please forgive me for I am worthless shoe scum that does not even deserve to be on the same planet as one who is so great! I beg for your merciful forgiveness! Oh please forgive me o'great one! Evoia is a heavan such lowlifes as myself can only hope to dream about!

All hail the great, illustrious, intelligent, beautiful, wondorous Evo!

 

[mattmns]

WOOPS. You may want to delete the person who voted for the one that says options 1 and 3. I have not read all of the posts, so I will comment in a few minutes on them.

 

[singleton]

I often find myself asking girls this question. I've come to the conclusion that you can do a bit of each without much hard work. They aren't mutually exclusive and you need to realize it.

Get a home gym setup. Do 30 min cardio and 30 min free weights daily. Setup a TV and stereo nearby. Eat healthy and maintain personal hygene (obvious). Oh and keep your smile straight, white and healthy looking.

Money doesn't matter. Trust me. Women just want enough to be stable and have for a cushion so you can live a little and do things like go out on the town once a week and travel a few times yearly (who doesn't). Be financially wise (ahem *common sense*) and you can do well on an "average" salary.
Having credit card companies chasing you and using caller id to avoid the bank is an unnecessary stress for both of you (DUH).

Intelligence, honesty, personality are all implicit and expected.

Be an interesting person. Learn about the world. Have many hobbies and take an interest it everything. Who wants a boring person?

Home repairs, spider squashing and schematic-reading are, of course, required by the Universal Man Association :P:D

Besides your height (most women I've met seem to like height) and the size of your ding-dong... most things can be changed by you! It all comes down to time management, folks.

 

[mattmns]

Ok personally I think this thread is a waste of time.

I highly doubt you are going to get women to say that they only admire muscles and money. 90+% of women are going to choose personality and inteligence whether they seriously go by that or not. Dexter brings up a good point about appearance: This is why I think singleton is right on. Appearance is important! Just not as much as you may think. Personally I think that women will be fine with a guy as long as he is in decent shape and has decent hygene.

 

[Evo]

Ok personally I think this thread is a waste of time.

I highly doubt you are going to get women to say that they only admire muscles and money. 90+% of women are going to choose personality and inteligence whether they seriously go by that or not. Dexter brings up a good point about appearance: This is why I think singleton is right on. Appearance is important! Just not as much as you may think. Personally I think that women will be fine with a guy as long as he is in decent shape and has decent hygene.

Actually, I prefer men that are completely out of shape, I'm not kidding, I think a bit of a roll "love handles" is cute on a guy. Most men I've dated never worked out.

And glasses! I have a thing for men that wear glasses!

 

[mattmns]

Well you may be one of the exceptions. Evo, I highly doubt you or anyone would turn a guy down because he was in decent shape though. And guys should keep themselves in good shape for their own health anyway.

And for glasses: lol, I have a thing for girls that wear glasses!

 

[Moonbear]

I cannot believe that. What happens if he is a very fat guy, or he is very ugly (horrible)? What happens if he is the man who sweeps the streets every morning?. Will it be the same?.

My longest lasting relationship, and the one that made me happiest, was with a guy who was more than a few pounds overweight, balding and wears glasses. Basically, in his early 20s, he already looked like he was 40-something. I met him at the rehearsal dinner for a friend's wedding (he's a friend of her ex-husband; our relationship outlasted their marriage). I had the time of my life talking with him, getting to know him, we sat in the bar drinking water until the bar closed, and then walked around outside for another few hours talking, and it wasn't until the end of a very long night (technically, it was well into the next morning) that he asked for my phone number. We then spent the entire next day, including the wedding reception, in each other's company. We lived 2 hours apart from each other and ran up quite a phone bill talking to each other, along with emails that were pages long. I thought he was the sexiest man alive. In the end, he dumped me for another woman who he knew from before he met me and returned into his life, and married her! That took a long time to get over, but it was well worth it to realize what's really important in a relationship.

Let's turn it around the other way. The men here are all very intelligent and have a lot going for them. Would you really want a relationship or marriage to a woman who was very pretty, but stared at you with blank looks every time you started talking about things that were interesting to you? It would drive you absolutely nuts. Physical appearances are only useful if you're only interested in a physical relationship. If you're looking for a deeper, lasting relationship, physical appearances become secondary to personality and intelligence.