What does a woman value MOST in a man?

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In summary, this conversation is about a poll to discover how a woman thinks. The conversation includes discussions about forbidden options in the poll, complaints about character limits, and the importance of personality and intelligence in a partner. The participants also share their personal preferences and experiences with relationships and marriage.

What does a woman value MOST in a man?

  • He must be handsome and have a pretty appearance. I always value muscles above all.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Personality and intelligence. Brainy and singular ideas always make me to fall in love.

    Votes: 10 55.6%
  • I admire an outstanding professional status. It gives me emotional and material stability.

    Votes: 2 11.1%
  • I love crazy men and hate commuters!. No matter his profession, I love new experiences!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I love men who don't pay me any attention and hate men who are always flirting with me.

    Votes: 3 16.7%
  • Options 1 and 3.

    Votes: 2 11.1%
  • Options 2 and 5.

    Votes: 1 5.6%

  • Total voters
    18
  • #1
Clausius2
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This is a poll to discover how the hell a woman thinks.

As you can check, the option "1+2+3+4+5" is forbidden. Such men are not found in this planet.

I also want to make a complaint about the limit of 100 characters in each option as the system requires. That's a pity, because each option has lost crucial information because of that reduction.
 
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  • #2
I hope you will get some female input on this.

I find that I am rejected on the basis of my looks before they even have time to know me well enough to reject me based on my income. :redface:
 
  • #3
Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.
 
  • #4
spender said:
Depends on country,in N.America women go for money and looks only.

There goes spender with another wonderfully enlightened statement. Is there a particular reason that you say things like this? Have you even ever stepped foot on North American soil?
 
  • #5
Wait, so we have to WAIT for women to tick the poll? That'll take some time.. :eek:
 
  • #6
In order to obtain an accurate result, please men do not taunt this poll voting. I think voting is only morally allowed to women. If all of us start to vote, we won't come to any real conclusion.
 
  • #7
Clausius2 said:
In order to obtain an accurate result, please men do not taunt this poll voting. I think voting is only morally allowed to women. If all of us start to vote, we won't come to any real conclusion.


Exactly my thoughts. Men answering the poll would be..not usual, should we say :)
 
  • #8
I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).
 
  • #9
Bladibla said:
Wait, so we have to WAIT for women to tick the poll? That'll take some time.. :eek:

There are 10 or so over here. That is a small universe, but enough to obtain statiscal data.
 
  • #10
Moonbear said:
I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).

Conclusion: I am your man. :rolleyes:
 
  • #11
Clausius2 said:
There are 10 or so over here. That is a small universe, but enough to obtain statiscal data.

Fair enough. But would they be enthusiastic to asnwer to such a thread?
 
  • #12
Clausius2 said:
I also want to make a complaint about the limit of 100 characters in each option as the system requires. That's a pity, because each option has lost crucial information because of that reduction.
You can always add any further clarifications in your post.

I'd say number two has two of the important things I look for in a man, but there are other qualities that I look for.

I remember reading an article in the newspaper a few years ago about a couple in their 90's that had been married almost 80 years and were still as much in love as they were when they first met. The wife said that her mother told her to "look for a man with a kind face". So that's what she did. That bit of advice has stayed with me. Not so much in appearance but as a personality trait.

I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.
 
  • #13
Moonbear said:
I'm glad you put personality and intelligence together in one choice! Those two together are the most important for me. Intelligence alone isn't enough, nor is personality alone. If they've got both of those going for them, everything else starts to look really good. Physical appearance might get a guy noticed from a distance, but if nothing intelligent comes out of his mouth when he starts talking, it's not going to get him any further than that. For me, it's quality conversation that wins me over, which does require both intelligence and personality (i.e., wit).

Judging from your manner of speaking, are you talking from personal experience?

Just curious :rolleyes:
 
  • #14
spender said:
Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.

Spender, that is not the least bit true. See my reply above. Money is pretty far down near the bottom of the list. Heck, there are still quite a lot of people who get married young, before they have even gotten beyond entry level jobs, and struggle through those first years together. Those who get married later are usually already pretty self-sufficient and financially secure on their own, so the income of their partner really doesn't matter.
 
  • #15
loseyourname said:
There goes spender with another wonderfully enlightened statement. Is there a particular reason that you say things like this? Have you even ever stepped foot on North American soil?

Ooops ! sorry :redface: I meant women in N.America first and foremost care about guy personality and intelligence, money and appereance does not register on their radar screen at all NO WAY MAN !
Pleazze moderator person,don't ban me ok.
 
  • #16
Ok, only two women have responded to the thread so far, so some guy has voted for option #3, that vote doesn't count.
 
  • #17
What about the option 5?

Please be sincere and admit that most women behave that way. Why?
 
  • #18
Bladibla said:
Judging from your manner of speaking, are you talking from personal experience?

Just curious :rolleyes:

Actually, yes. I thought that was what Clausius was looking for, our own personal opinions, which of course are based on personal experience.

I can't think of anyone I've ever dated who I was physically attracted to when I first met him. Not that they were necessarily unattractive, just not someone you'd pick out of a crowd as "hot." I became attracted to them through conversation. Once the conversation got interesting, then everything about them became interesting.

I actually find it a turn-off for a guy to walk up to me in a bar or club and based on appearances alone, ask me out for a date or request my phone number, etc. If, instead, they ask to join me at a table and sit down to have a conversation, and if the conversation goes well, I'm far more likely to be receptive to trading numbers or going on a date.
 
  • #19
Clausius2 said:
What about the option 5?

Please be sincere and admit that most women behave that way. Why?

No, I don't think that's the case at all, though if someone is more interested in superficial traits, like appearances before intelligence, then 5 is more likely to go along with that. As we've discussed before, superficial people attract other superficial people.
 
  • #20
I have to agree with Moonbear on #5. I really dislike men that are into playing games. There are stupid women that are into games, but why would you want to pursue a woman like that? If you run across a woman/girl that fits #5, she's a loser (personality), move on.
 
  • #21
Moonbear said:
Actually, yes. I thought that was what Clausius was looking for, our own personal opinions, which of course are based on personal experience.

I can't think of anyone I've ever dated who I was physically attracted to when I first met him. Not that they were necessarily unattractive, just not someone you'd pick out of a crowd as "hot." I became attracted to them through conversation. Once the conversation got interesting, then everything about them became interesting.

I actually find it a turn-off for a guy to walk up to me in a bar or club and based on appearances alone, ask me out for a date or request my phone number, etc. If, instead, they ask to join me at a table and sit down to have a conversation, and if the conversation goes well, I'm far more likely to be receptive to trading numbers or going on a date.

Although I value your opinion, it depends on how the girl-woman is. We don't know how are you physically. I have experienced that most women who are not very pretty thinks that way (statiscally confirmed). Maybe you are the exception. Those women give more importance to such characteristics as intelligence, personality and capacity to sustain a good conversation. That's because they are sure it is their great internal value and not their appearance, and they desire such characteristics because they hope we are going to search the same.

On the other hand, beautiful women look for beautiful men or well professionally positioned men, no matter how stupid are such men.

Am I right? Or is this only a popular legend? Am I the unique who thinks that way?.
 
  • #22
Gentlemen - READ THIS QUOTE VERY CAREFULLY!

Evo said:
I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.

And read it again and again, until it sinks in.

Notice - money is not mentioned. But hopefully, the man is self-sufficient.

Not clingy means 'self-assured', but not 'self-absorbed' or 'narcissitic'.


Interesting options.

An outstanding professional status may precluded emotional support if the man is focussed more on his work. I presume a man, who would make a good match, has good work ethic.

What's with the extremes of #5. Pay no attention, or flirting?

I like Moonbear's response in the bar - a man should invite a woman to engage in conversation, as in "Pardon me, may I join you" or "would you care to join me". That applies to out-of-the-blue situations.

I met my wife through friends. We simply kept encountering one another. The group included couples and singles. We got together at various houses or apartments for meals, music (some played instruments like guitar) or discussions about various subject (like GD or PF forums). This gave my wife and I an opportunity to see how the other thought or felt, and how the other interacted with others. We eventually started dating, and 3 months later I proposed. We were engaged one year while we completed our undergraduate programs, and then go married and went to grad school together.
 
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  • #23
I don't understand what is meant by "commuters" in option 4. I haven't voted. I don't see what I am looking for on the menu.
 
  • #24
Math Is Hard said:
I don't understand what is meant by "commuters" in option 4. I haven't voted. I don't see what I am looking for on the menu.

Sorry for my poor language. With commuter I mean a man who always go to work everymorning and do the same kind of life every day. A bored guy, in fact.


What are you looking for?

EDIT: I always thought a commuter was one of these guys walking to the office with his suitcase, a typical worker.
 
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  • #25
Aren't the guys which go to work each morning by public transportation (subway especially) COMMUTERS...?Or did he mean "commutators"...?

Daniel.
 
  • #26
Clausius2 said:
Sorry for my poor language. With commuter I mean a man who always go to work everymorning and do the same kind of life every day. A bored guy, in fact.

What are you looking for?
ok, now I understand. hmmm.. I think I might be a female commuter. :approve:
I think the two most important qualities in a man are a good sense of humor and a kind heart. Everything else is icing on the cake. :smile:
 
  • #27
I cannot believe that. What happens if he is a very fat guy, or he is very ugly (horrible)? What happens if he is the man who sweeps the streets every morning?. Will it be the same?.
 
  • #28
Not if he sweeps the streets with his fat ass...That's unacceptable...:tongue2:

Daniel.
 
  • #29
dextercioby said:
Aren't the guys which go to work each morning by public transportation (subway especially) COMMUTERS...?Or did he mean "commutators"...?

Daniel.

I think it means losers. :rofl:
 
  • #30
Astronuc said:
"Pardon me, may I join you" or "would you care to join me". That applies to out-of-the-blue situations.

Be sure I am going to remember that sentence if eventually I go to UCSD. :smile:
 
  • #31
Evo said:
, so some guy has voted for option #3, that vote doesn't count.


Yes, I did it again.it was me. :redface:
 
  • #32
spender said:
Depends on country,in N.America women care only about how much money guy has.

maybe that would have been true in the 50's, but this is the 21st century, and i know many women who make more then their man and are able to support themselves without reliance upon his money. stop watching nick at night for your social skills.
 
  • #33
Evo said:
I want a man that is intelligent, funny, kind, thoughtful, not clingy, is either boring (or doesn't mind that I am) or even better, he doesn't think I'm boring! He has to be honest with me. If I find out a guy hasn't been honest with me, that ends it for me, I need to be able to trust the person I am involved with.

Physical appearance comes after all of the above. If he has the above qualities, it doesn't matter too much what he looks like. For me, eyes and hands are the most important features in a man.

I have all of those qualities and yet you still rejected me. Oh well, c'est la vie, c'est la guerre! You had your chance Evo, but it is too late now! I have decided that celebacy is now my fate. :cry:
 
  • #34
dextercioby said:
Not if he sweeps the streets with his fat ass...That's unacceptable...:tongue2:

Daniel.

Daniel, you are a riot. :rofl:

I've dated skinny guys, buff guys, heavy guys... I've dated unemployed guys and I've dated millionaires (and even a few unemployed millionaires :tongue: )..
all of them good-hearted and fun to be around. That's what's important.
 
  • #35
polyb said:
I have all of those qualities and yet you still rejected me. Oh well, c'est la vie, c'est la guerre! You had your chance Evo, but it is too late now! I have decided that celebacy is now my fate. :cry:
Phew, Close one. :eek:
 

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