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What in the world do i do now?

  1. Jan 21, 2008 #1
    What in the world do i do now??

    I've been reading this forum for quite some time now and there seem to be a lot of good advice so i guess that's why i registered here, because i don't know who to ask for advice this moment:(:frown: Sorry if i'm just coming 'out of the blue' this way

    As much as i'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit this, i feel i need some sort of 'guidance'. I just had the worst possibly first engineering year someone could ever have, to cut it short my personal problems washed over into my studies and i'm lucky i'm not in some hospital or on medication (seriously). I started my first semester off with a good start i guess, doing the homework, re-reading the notes, going to the professors for help, and like i just said my dormant personal issues got the best of me and next thing i know i failed two subjects, a first year math course and one programming course. I was so upset i didn't know what to do, but kept telling myself i'd repeat them the following semester and pass them definitely...i planned it all out in the first semester break, and ok i started second semester but no hope for poor me again, things spiraled out of control and next thing i know i FAIL the same subjects again:frown::mad: unbelievable isn't it...

    Ok i haven't received the result of the two exams which determine my overall mark, but i'm confident i didn't earn enough to receive a passing grade. I'm just speechless now, very angry and upset with myself, i had the exams a few days ago and i really felt like crying leaving the university, and i'm not ashamed to admit that. I'm just revolted with myself, and what makes me even more angry is that i know my potential, i know how i can get high grades, i was the amongst the highest students my final year at high school and now for me to sink so low so fast is just humiliating. I didn't have problems understanding the work at all actually, i just lost touch of it. And they were both first year friggin courses!! It infuriates me.

    And the nightmare doesn't end there, i was reading the academic rules for the university and it clearly states that a student who fails 50% or more of their subjects the first time will receive an academic warning, if they do that again then they'll be refused enrolment the following semester....i've had this sinking feeling in me ever since those exams, i'm just waiting for some sort of notification that i can't enrol in any subjects. Although it also said students in that situation are given the option to fill out a form for permission to re-enrol, which then goes off to the executive dean of the faculty! Where i need to present my case and state why i have come to this situation, and i'm going to prepare all of that, but i'm not so confident i'll be given permission...which leads me to the main point of this all, what do i do??? No body in my personal life knows, i'm not telling my parents, nor friends, they will all tell me that they didn't expect this of me (i know some will relish this whole thing, to see me failing, the very same friends who use to hate it that i was better at them in high school), i didn't even expect it but it happened...i'm going to fill out that form, write up a letter and hope that the executive dean believes me because i'll have to reveal some very personal issues, but in the case that i'm rejected (in which case i won't be allowed to apply for permission to re-enrol until the following year of the same semester), what do i do?? I've had enough of all of this, and all the personal issues i had are finally beginning to go behind me for GOOD, but what if i'm rejected? What do i tell my parents, friends?? This has all set me back an entire year....all i have left to hope for is that this application will be given the ok to re-enrol and i pray that it does.

    Btw i live in Australia, if you're wondering about the weird semester times.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Jan 21, 2008 #2
    You're in no position to worry about how you'll look to people. Tell your parents at least, so it's not a bombshell if you are kicked out of school for a while.

    Some time off might not hurt. You can work for a while, and maybe reflect a little on what went wrong while at school. Sometimes it's better not to get so worked up over everything. Take some time to calm yourself, gain the resolve to do better, and then make the changes you'll need to ultimately do better.
     
  4. Jan 21, 2008 #3
    Thanks for your reply. But what do you mean by i'm in no position to worry about how i'll look to other people? I'll see about my parents...although i did think about taking time off, i don't know. Just to note i did consider that maybe i should study something else but to be honest i don't know what, nothing else interests me more than engineering and i don't see myself doing anything else in the future but that, i really can't.

    Actually i forgot to mention this. One thign that annoyed me immensely about the programming subject is that we had online problems to do, they were based in America i think...yet i knew this guy in the class and during an actual lecture i saw him on his laptop (i was sitting next to him) at this website and he actually showed me what it was, it had ALL the answers to all the online problems we had, and he was just copying and pasting the answers into the online problems, next thing you know he gets 100% for that problem set while someone like me who rejected his offer to give me the answers off the site (i probably would have passed the subject had i said yes) so i could get 100%, doesn't pass the course. And it is those online problems which determine whether you pass the course or not coz they were worth 20%. That annoyed me a lot, i didn't nor do i ever want to cheat like that, but i don't get it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2008
  5. Jan 21, 2008 #4
    Just look at the big picture. Dont get too stressed about it. Its good that you did not cheat. That, in my opinion, is far better than just passing a few classes. That is a life long lesson. In thirty years, this incident will be a small item in the past.
     
  6. Jan 21, 2008 #5
    What I mean is that it doesn't help you in your position to hide it from people. This is especially true if you have to make plans to live at home with your parents next term and find a job.

    That certainly doesn't sound fair to me.

    When I took intro to programming, the prof used a diffing program to compare answers between students to prevent that kind of cheating. It seems to me that your prof might have been a bit lazy in catching this.
     
  7. Jan 21, 2008 #6
    What person issues? Work them out and get rid of them.
     
  8. Jan 21, 2008 #7
    Yes, you have to fix your personal issues first and foremost. When I transfered to a University (my current one), I had found out I had clinical depression. I almost failed 2 courses. It was horrible. But I got help and things have been (mostly) better.
     
  9. Jan 21, 2008 #8
    Well i hope this incident will become small...right now it's all i think about:\

    Well you're right about that...although i think things will just worsen if i live with my parents on top of this all:\

    Well apparently he had a program like that, which compares answers, yet he only seemed to use it on assignments, seeing how nothing was picked up with the friend who cheated.
    I felt guilty enough looking at that site he was showing me.

    I think i have, although who knows if they'll resurface...although i don't think i have clinical depression, would you suggest i see a student councellor, some sort of academic advisor? I think i should actually.

    Actually thinking about this all today, i remembered meeting this guy in the programming class last semester, after talking about how much we don't like the subject, he told me that it was his third time doing the subject, so i guess at least i know i'm not the only one?

    So none of you think that i should just drop out of engineering entirely, that i'm not fit for it...i feel really stupid that i can't pass mere first year courses, yet i guess i'll have to prove myself wrong with that one this year, whether or not i do go back.
     
  10. Jan 21, 2008 #9
    I was in a VERY similar situation not so long ago. I got the notice that I won’t be able to register for the upcoming year. There was an option for me to submit a personal letter to the assistant dean for consideration and after a couple of weeks I did that. I would recommend that you talk someone about it because keeping it to yourself will only lead to bad thoughts. I was lucky that I had a very good friend who was there for me, and always was willing to listen. It took me 3 weeks to build up the courage to tell my parents about what had happened that year and I still remember the look on my mom’s face (kind of a mix of disappoint and wtf). It had to be done. After a couple of weeks, I got a letter from the assistant dean that I would not be kicked out and instead put on probation for 1 year. This was great news! During the waiting period, I also registered into a community college program as a back up.

    So from this whole ordeal I learned a couple of things: (1) Family will always be there for you (2) You’ll find out who your true friends are when you are struggling (3) Don’t EVER lose faith in your abilities (4) Learn to evaluate yourself honestly and fix the problems that you find (if it means that you’ll need to pre read every chapter, then do it – if it means that you’ll need to camp out the prof’s office… do it) (5) There is absolutely NO substitute for honest hard work.

    You should not let this event dictate the rest of your life. So what if you fall behind 1 – 2 years, don’t let it affect the next 10 by dropping out.
     
  11. Jan 21, 2008 #10
    Definitely. Even if it costs some money, it's still money better spent. Get yourself fixed, no matter the cost.

    Yeah, it happens. I know people who have failed courses. I thought I was going to fail this last quarter. Knowing that I wouldn't be the only one made me feel better. Passing made me feel better still. :)

    Stupid has nothing to do with it. Do you LIKE this stuff? Are you willing to take in the bad with the good? I have questioned whether or not to stay with physics for the past 6 or so months.

    I feel stupid when I do poorly on a test or don't understand a homework problem. But I'm not. Because I can go in to any intro physics class and smoke those people. Likewise, you can go into a lower-level class and see how people are struggling with material you already mastered.

    Every year you are basically building on what you already know. You're struggling now, but after you complete the course, you'll be better and smarter. You yourself said you were doing fine until your personal troubles came into the picture. Take care of those and things will be a lot easier.
     
  12. Jan 22, 2008 #11
    Good to know that you can relate...my parents is the hard part, and i know my mother would react the same way yours did, mixed disapointment, my family has always seen me as the more stable guy, the one who knows what he's doing and doesn't waste time on second thoughts. Although you're right, someone does have to know, whoever it may be at the moment. Also i did what you did, i've applied for another university (a smaller one, close by) for engineering there in case i really am rejected, just as the back up.

    You're absolutely right here, spot on. I think the important one for me at the moment is not to lose faith in my abilities. Thanks for the input.

    Yeah i really like it, i never got bored in the lectures, whatever subject it was.
    But you're right there, after you complete a course and when you look back on it you'll see how easy it was. I know with some math problems, after 'mastering' them i wondered how i didn't understand it in the first place heh btw from what i know, seeing a student councellor/academic advisor, at least in my state, doesn't cost anything so i'll definitely look into it meanwhile. Anyway i bet you felt really relieved passing that course! After thinking you were going to fail...

    Although thanks guys for the input, i am seeing that it still is something i can 'redeem' myself in, the next thing i guess is to tell my parents or someone else, and settle my problems, i'm obviously someone not capable of balancing studies and personal issues. I just hope i'm given the opportunity to continue on this year. I know i can do a lot better...i'm still bothered by the whole ordeal but like the leakin99 user said, i can't let it dictate the rest of my life and probably a bad analogy, it's not like i killed someone! Or robbed a bank. Yet i feel (or felt) just as guilty.
     
  13. Jan 22, 2008 #12
    It happens. You just need to suck it up and not cheat, because you'll learn more that way. I was in a class a couple of years ago where about 95% of the students cheated regularly on the homeworks. I know, because the grader did an experiment where he found that a particular solution for a past assignment had a peculiar error in it. Those who had copied from it had the same exact error. He couldn't directly accuse all those people of copying past solutions, but he could grade that problem extremely harshly. (In fact, I was a casualty of this: I made a different error in the same problem, but to be consistent, he had to grade all homeworks that harshly.) End result: my homework average was undoubtedly below average at the end of the semester, but my exam average was far and away the highest in the class.
     
  14. Jan 23, 2008 #13
    ^^Yeah you're right...i guess those who cheat like that during their studies, won't really be well prepared when they graduate and get into the work force in their field; i guess it really shows then. Although like you said, it shows ultimately on the exam!!

    Well i'm still waiting for the faculty to send me out some sort of notice *dread* :\
     
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