- #36
wolram
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After careful consideration i think i am to far gone, i am sure i would not have the patience or will power to commit to a life long partnership.
My wife and I were living in a low-rent apartment using thrift-shop furniture and just scraping by when we got married. We were both unemployed at the time because the mill we worked at shut down, and the construction season hadn't started back up (winter). Our pre-nup would have been hilarious, like "If we break up, I get the dented Revere-Ware pot with the lid that doesn't match and the knife with the replaced wooden grip, and you get the electric fry-pan and the aluminum 2-cup percolator." Seriously, I owned clothes, an old motorcycle (no car), some hand-me-down pots and pans and kitchen utensils, some blankets and sheets, a modest stereo, some albums, and a guitar. If I had owned a car, my possessions could have fit in the back seat, easy.jimmysnyder said:Good advice. Also, don't do like we did. Make sure you sign a pre-nup. We didn't and now neither one of us wants to get divorced.
Are you sure that you'd have a long life , then? I mean studies show that married men live longer .But the're more willing to diewolram said:After careful consideration i think i am to far gone, i am sure i would not have the patience or will power to commit to a life long partnership.
Lisa! said:Are you sure that you'd have a long life , then? I mean studies show that married men live longer .But the're more willing to die
Don't call her my first wife. It'll go hard on the crockery.stewartcs said:I feel your pain, I stuck it out with my first wife for that same reason. In the end, the money isn't worth it!
You are a curse upon divorce attorneys, Evo. I don't need to live with anyone for much more than a week to figure out whether or not the relationship has long term potential. Your first encounter of the 'third kind' usually tells you everything you need to know about your prospective mate. Is he/she genuinely interested, or merely climbing a mountain?Evo said:If you are married to the wrong person, every day can be hell. Unfortunately, you don't find out how wrong they are until after you've been married for awhile. This is why I can't imagine people getting married without having first lived together for at least a year or two.
Chronos said:You are a curse upon divorce attorneys, Evo. I don't need to live with anyone for much more than a week to figure out whether or not the relationship has long term potential. Your first encounter of the 'third kind' usually tells you everything you need to know about your prospective mate. Is he/she genuinely interested, or merely climbing a mountain?
Urvabara said:Hi!
I am 23 years old science nerd. I haven't ever even kissed anyone.
Well, back to studying some physics... -->
wolram said:Hmmm, and i collect hens teeth.
Urvabara said:And I have thought that hens do not have teeth.
Ivan Seeking said:Tsu and I basically moved in together after the first date, but we waited a few years before making it official. My parents - married over 50 years - fell in love at first sight.
Monique said:My boyfriend and I also moved into the same apartment within two months of dating. Now we've been living together for 3 years. Marriage is not something we really think about, we both don't like the whole theater that comes along with organizing it, only in case of a baby would I feel obliged to get married.
Why? You can meet someone out of the blue and start datingLisa! said:Well I'm pretty sure that you know each other quite well before dating!
Monique said:Why? You can meet someone out of the blue and start dating
It's mean using ye olde English sayingswolram said:The old English game chicken does, it allso lays blue shelled eggs, some think it is a throw back to the dino age.
I don't agree, I think it should be: "the best thing about getting married.." what garantee do you have that your spouse still likes to be with you after some time of marriage? I think the best thing about being together is showing that you like to be together more than with anyone else.DaveC426913 said:The best thing about being married is knowing that there's someone who likes being with you more than they like being with anyone else.
Sometimes you just know instantly that it's right. I think those relationships can often be the best. Wow Monique, it seems like only yesterday that you met him. It's so nice to hear it's going so well.Lisa! said:Sure! But dating someone is something different from living with him. I mean you need to know someone well enough to move into the same home with him/her. And 2 months or 1st date isn't long enugh for knowing someone , IMO!
See, that's where I disagree, a good relationship doesn't require hard work, bad relationships require hardwork. It's when the person isn't right for you that you have to make a lot of compromises and concessions, etc...sneez said:Marriage is not a playground, its hardwork and more hardwork, while the rewards are numerous and great its still a hardwork. Definitelly agree with daveb on the most difficult job a person can have. I can easily see how the hardwork can undo the rewards if the person is not liking/willing to work. (do not ask about the nature of what I mean by work, those married can attest that its much harder than lifting rocks all day and W=F*d*cos(o) is just not going to do it to know how much is required:), its mental work and lot of it is in making compromises).
That's why you "try before you buy".Monique said:I don't agree, I think it should be: "the best thing about getting married.." what garantee do you have that your spouse still likes to be with you after some time of marriage?
I think we're in agreement that marriage is not something to take lightly. It's so easy to get married, so difficult (and costly) to get out of.sneez said:When asked a question : "how is it like to be married"? (which implies what to expect), I would strongly caution the couple about the work involved rather than the many and great benefits of being together, because its the "work" that leads to divorce/distrust/abuse/psychological harm/etc
Evo said:I would much rather see my two girls live with someone than get married, neither of my sisters chose to marry and they are happy.
That is so wonderful to hear. Great advice too!Monique said:It's funny that you should say that, both my parents and my boyfriend's parents have said that we don't need to get married, we should just be happy. Since both our parents our still together after 25+ years of marriage (and still radiating affection), they are great role models.
turbo-1 said:Cohabitation before marriage is a good idea.