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When is the appropriate time to ask a young lady for her #?

  1. Mar 17, 2015 #1
    Yesterday I was at school eating lunch... I saw a young lady walk by obviously attractive in appearance because if she wasn't attractive then I wouldn't be looking... I know sounds shallow... (Haha)

    As I am exiting the cafeteria I saw one of my old classmates (the old classmate studies with a friend of mine), he was talking/studying with this young lady I saw walk by... So I figure well if I want to get to know her might as well try to start a conversation with her while I am talking to this old classmate. We were talking about next term blah blah. Then the young lady told us (me and the old classmate) who her instructor was for vector calculus. She is actually taking the same instructor I had for vector calculus so the conversation started there... We probably talked for at least an hour about school, life, Spring break, etc.. About 20min in our convo I introduced myself to her since I thought it be the best time to get a name. It was a good conversation she asked me a lot of question about school and life... She kept the conversation going which is nice because I don't like talking all the time... My old classmate could tell I was a little into her and my friend couldn't really tell and my friend didn't think I gave this young lady the vibe I was interested even though I was interested. (Haha)

    As we were chatting away I asked myself is it appropriate to ask for her number even though I just met her?

    I didn't ask for her number because she is taking/studying with my friend next term so I will see her again I am sure. She is a few years older than me and she is getting a degree in biochemistry which is neat!

    She seems super smart and really outgoing... Kind of kicking myself for not asking because over Spring break she plans on hiking at this location I've hiked before.. We talked a little bit about this place we have been to. I could have probably got to know her over Spring break.
  2. jcsd
  3. Mar 17, 2015 #2
    Personally I was never one to ask for a number at first meeting. Talk to her a few more times so you are both comfortable around each other and then advance things.
  4. Mar 17, 2015 #3
    I didn't want to come across creepy so this is the reason I didn't ask for her number right away.
  5. Mar 17, 2015 #4
    In my experience, a female is going to know whether she's interested in you or not within the first conversation. I experience it, my female friends experience it and if the attraction is there why not just dive right in and ask? You'll know, without a doubt, if she's interested or not by her response. Why bother waiting and hoping?

    I say strike up another conversation and if it goes as well as the first one, ask her for her number. Assuming this is still possible to do, I don't know when spring break is.
  6. Mar 17, 2015 #5
    Spring break starts now... I just had my last final.

    I was hoping to see her on campus today because I wanted to ask her out to coffee, but I didn't see her. I will see her next term for sure then ask her if I can get her number.

    I am just happy I got to meet her and have a good conversation with her... What else could I ask for? I don't want to give her the impression I am depserate... I've never had the oport unity to talk to a young lday who i though was attractive appearance wise.. I would say I got lucky. Ha.
  7. Mar 18, 2015 #6

    Vanadium 50

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    Before someone else does!

    More seriously, you now see the problem with waiting - you may not run into her again.
  8. Mar 18, 2015 #7

    Oh I am going to see her again... She is on my radar... Haha. One of the classes she is taking is with an old instructor so if I don't run into her at the campus I will attend next term then I will visit my old instructors class and say hello to her. Plus I am not sure how interested this young lady is pursuing the idea of love because she sounds very focused right now, trying to finish a BS in biochem, a math minor, and would like to go to grad school... Of course she could totally change her mind... Like I said though... Kicking myself a little for not asking...
  9. Mar 19, 2015 #8
    Okay I've got another question about asking a young lady for her number. So this other situation is a little more challenging because this woman works at a drive through coffee shop. About three years ago I tried a new coffee shop, the young lady who greeted me just blew me away... I was speechless when I saw her... So I started to get coffee here quite a bit more because I was hoping to get an opportunity to talk to her... I did a little... She was going to some local university for art... So this coffee place has a fan page on FB. I ran across her full name and obviously found her on FB. When I "met" her she didn't have a boyfriend based on her FB, some time passed and she was going out with some guy. At the time she was dating this guy I messaged her on FB, but I didn't say anything creepy... Haha. I wasn't trying to come across as hitting on her... I told her she made great coffee and some other things... I never got a message back... I wasn't expecting her to reply to my comments. When I saw her shortly after those messages she totally gave me the cold shoulder for a few months... Haha.

    Here is the weird part... After a few months after the few months she gave me the cold shoulder she acknowledged my presence a few times... I pull up waiting for my coffee. She be in the back working but she looked over at me smiled and waved. She had done this several times... I was a little confused... When she acknowledged me it was quite awhile after her and the bf broke up.

    So do I just acknowledge her now... She gives me the goose bumps before and after I leave. When I see her I get a chill down my back and the hair on the back of my neck stick up. Hahaha... I just don't have the courage to ask her out because afraid of rejection... I'd hate if she rejected me because I've been interested for quite some time... So what should I do?
  10. Mar 20, 2015 #9


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    I hate to say this, but from reading your previous threads, I think you need to stop becoming obsessed with women you see. This is the same girl you wrote about in 2012. Have you actually dated anyone?
  11. Mar 20, 2015 #10
    If you are shy, then ask your friend to be a messenger between you and her. It won't cost you anything but you can still testify your friendship and at the same time enjoy the love growth between you and her.

    I'm just joking.
  12. Mar 20, 2015 #11
    Hahahahaha evo... No I have been single for a very long time... Well the last girlfriend wasn't much of a girlfriend... I want to date but it's kind of hard when you don't come across women you are interested in dating...
  13. Mar 20, 2015 #12


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    You seem like a nice guy, you should look for nice girls, ones that you are attracted to how they think. :smile:
  14. Mar 20, 2015 #13

    Hahaha I seem like a nice guy. Thanks evo.

    I didn't know I made a thread about the young lady in 2012. Bahaha. Evo you sound a little like my older sister. "You need to stop obsessing about these women". When you have not even gone on a single date for a few years it's hard not to think of women.
  15. Mar 24, 2015 #14

    jim hardy

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    Honesty goes a long way.

    I'd look her in the eye and say :
    "Madam i hope i have not made you uncomfortable by my social awkwardness. You are so disarmingly pretty that in your presence i feel completely unnerved and i fumble for words. Thank you for the most gracious kindness you've shown me."

    Then turn and leave without further eye contact for you're not in any position to demand a response. The immediate response would probably be a defensive rejection anyway, so instead give her time to think.

    If she's interested she'll let you know next time you meet.

    Movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy" has two classic scenes about "shy guy - pretty girl" interaction.

    believe me, i was worse than him.

    old jim
  16. Mar 26, 2015 #15
    I go back to school in a few days. I am not even going to sweat it since I know her. I figure it be best to quit worrying and just break the ice... What is the worse that could happen, rejection?

    I don't necessarily fear being rejected because I've been rejected by women a few times... I will keep all of you updated.. Thanks.
  17. Apr 1, 2015 #16

    Okay so I saw her again. The convo started off nicely... I asked her if she ever hiked a particular area over Spring break. She did and said we in the response. Then she said my boy friend blah blah...

    Shot down... So I don't think I've come across as interested in her. What to do now just become a casual friend or just stop talking to her? At the end of the term I was thinking about telling her that I thought she was attractive and wanted to ask her out to coffee so she had somewhat of an idea I was interested before we go our own separate ways.
  18. Apr 1, 2015 #17

    jim hardy

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    Of course.
  19. Apr 2, 2015 #18
    It may be just a lie because she is not interested in you and doesn't want you to bother her.
    Or she may have a boyfriend and is deeply in love with him.
    I don't know what you think and do in your culture but in mine, you can invite her out for a coffee then gently tell her what you think about her. If she is mature enough, she will realize how "blessed" she has been to be adored by not just her current boyfriend and will be happy.
  20. Apr 2, 2015 #19
    I disagree, such action would be a fruitless endeavour.
    You just be friends if that was your next option, otherwise you don't bother talking to her unless to say hello in passing.
  21. Apr 2, 2015 #20
    He is a poor soul, ill-fated.
  22. Apr 2, 2015 #21
    After a champagne breakfast in bed suits me.
  23. Apr 4, 2015 #22
    Her and I have talked more than once. She doesn't really talk about her bf a lot. Normally women or maybe just girls talk about their boyfriends quite a bit.

    I am pretty sure she isn't making her boyfriend up. I even asked her what her boyfriend does. I guess he went to school to be a Web designer something to do with computers... No he went to school to be an interface designer...

    We talk for an hour before class. Her class starts at the same time as mine so we chat for a bit. I will probably continue pursuing convos and just see where it goes, not looking for anything from her now since she is taken.
  24. Apr 4, 2015 #23


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    I suggest that you move on. Stop thinking about her and either be happy without a relationship or look elsewhere if you really want one. Move on.
  25. Apr 4, 2015 #24
    I am happy now and I will move on. I got the idea in my head nothing will happen between her and I. I am not try to make things happen. Haha.
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