Who do you Trust Most?

  • Thread starter Les Sleeth
  • Start date
  • #1
Les Sleeth
Gold Member
2,254
2
Who do you trust most, and why:

1. the smartest person,
2. the most moral person,
3. the most sincere person,
4. the kindest person,
5. the most loving person,
6. or . . . (fill in your choice)

My answer. I trust the kindest person most. I can tolerate the faults of the good-hearted friend -- his deceptions, moral failures, stupidity, selfish lapses when he is afraid, anger . . . if I know that kindness will win out in the end.

What I was thinking about when I wrote the question was what quality in people encourages me most to trust them enough to let them get close to me as a true friend. Right now, for example, I know a lot of people because of a social situation I participate in weekly. I can see that I allow certain people closer than others and I was thinking about why I do.

My three closest friends are far from perfect, especially when they are stressed or worried about something. In spite of their imperfections, and that they might injure me unintentionally with their faults sometime, I also can tell that when they see they've hurt me they are sorry, and enough so to stop or make up for what they've done. We are all the same way in this respect, and I can tell that's why we are friends (plus we are all pretty forgiving . . . maybe I should have put that on the list since being as imperfect as I am I require that in a friend :cool: ).

Anyway, I also can see friendships that seem to have different values at the core of them, and I was wondering what others have found to be the best basis of friendship.
 
Last edited:

Answers and Replies

  • #2
russ_watters
Mentor
22,050
9,147
The most reliable person.
 
  • #3
Per
14
0
I trust the person with most goodness.
 
  • #4
Pengwuino
Gold Member
5,124
17
I'll take one of the given choices to make this decently interesting.

I pick the most sincere.
 
  • #5
Lacy33
253
1
Considering all 5 choices, I can not imagine how one can be the other on your list without the other traits.
Each trait gives rise to the other.

I would take advice from a person 1-5 as I see them all as one person.
 
  • #6
Per
14
0
russ_watters said:
The most reliable person.

If you knew of a very reliable pedophile, never failes a molestation, woule you trust this person to babysit your kids?
 
  • #7
Pengwuino
Gold Member
5,124
17
You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?
 
  • #8
Per
14
0
Pengwuino said:
I'll take one of the given choices to make this decently interesting.

I pick the most sincere.

Would you date and marry a sincere woman serial killer?
 
  • #9
Lacy33
253
1
Pengwuino said:
You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?

If you are speaking of people possessing the true essence of these traits?
NO.

S
 
  • #10
Per
14
0
Pengwuino said:
You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?

No it said most, therefore it is very hard to find one who is the top kind person who also is the top moral guy.

If not most, then of course you can have a moral kind loving smart reliable guy.
 
  • #11
Lacy33
253
1
Per said:
Would you date and marry a sincere woman serial killer?

A sincere woman serial killer is sincerely confused/ill.
 
  • #12
Per
14
0
Shoshana said:
A sincere woman serial killer is sincerely confused/ill.

Atleast she is caught quickly. :smile:
 
  • #13
Lacy33
253
1
Per said:
Atleast she is caught quickly. :smile:

Very good point.
So good traits with bad habits can help a person increase good traits?
 
  • #14
Math Is Hard
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
4,611
36
I think it all depends on the situation. If I were shopping for a surgeon, I would trust the most skillful person. If I were seeking a confidante, then I would probably trust the most moral person (who would not betray my trust).
 
  • #15
Les Sleeth
Gold Member
2,254
2
I chose kindness from experience with my friends. Some of them might err in any of the other areas, even to the point of hurting me. But when they see they are hurting it makes them stop.
 
  • #16
Lacy33
253
1
Les Sleeth said:
I chose kindness from experience with my friends. Some of them might err in any of the other areas, even to the point of hurting me. But when they see they are hurting it makes them stop.

I feel this is a very good point.
People with basic goodness adjust the otherwise rotten behaviors that are a natural part of being human and living in a wild environment ( like any society on the planet at the moment, or at least most.
Good natured people don't LIKE behaving badly. It buggs them until they adjust a situation.
That again why I believe all the good traits on the above list can be found in most basically good people.
S
 
  • #17
Bladibla
354
1
The most moral person in any case, however that begs a question.

Just HOW do you know they are the most moral? Self-claiming is known (at least, to me) to be the most inaccurate way.
 
  • #18
Lisa!
Gold Member
639
97
First tell us what you mean by trusting someone? Sharing your secrets with them? Believe what they say? Ask them to take care of something or someone for you? In every case my answer is different. So I'd be grateful if you make it specific, otherwise I can't answer your question!
Have I misunderstood you?:redface:
 
  • #19
Les Sleeth
Gold Member
2,254
2
Lisa! said:
First tell us what you mean by trusting someone? Sharing your secrets with them? Believe what they say? Ask them to take care of something or someone for you? In every case my answer is different. So I'd be grateful if you make it specific, otherwise I can't answer your question!
Have I misunderstood you?:redface:

No you haven't misunderstood at all. After reading some of the answers I could see how "trust" can mean many things. Russ answered the most reliable, which in certain circumstances I would choose as well. If someone were telling me he/she felt a certain way, I would hope for sincerity . . . and so on. Rather than explain here, I'll go back to the first post and clarify. Hopefully that will help you answer.
 
  • #20
Lisa!
Gold Member
639
97
Les Sleeth said:
No you haven't misunderstood at all. After reading some of the answers I could see how "trust" can mean many things. Russ answered the most reliable, which in certain circumstances I would choose as well. If someone were telling me he/she felt a certain way, I would hope for sincerity . . . and so on. Rather than explain here, I'll go back to the first post and clarify. Hopefully that will help you answer.
Thanks! Yeah, that helped alot.

I have no problem to make friends with any kind of people provided that they would be easygoing. I even have some close friends that they're not very decent people. I mean some of them are too selfish and dishonest sometimes, but I've been able to treat them to behave another way towards me. For example they never tell me lies and are always honest with me, since they know I can easily realize when they're lying and when they're not. In case they are selfish, I just help them in the cases that doesn't take too much for me. I mean for example doing something immoral or spending too much time on something when it doesn't have any benefit or pleasure for me! I choose them as friends because we can have nice time together and be useful for each other( for example learn useful thing from each other)! So as long as their selfishness and dishonesty doesn't hurt me at all and it couldn't have bad efect on my behaviors, I can't see any problem to be close to them!
I think in a friendship, you need to know your friend and then know how to behave towards them! If my friend is unreliable, I never count on him/her whenever something is important to me. Or I never share my secrets with a friend whom s/he's not able to keep it for himself!
And of course I always forgive people when I know they've not done something offensive in order to hurt me.
Hope I'd understand you well now!
 
  • #21
Per
14
0
Trusting a person or trusting a system

A question remains on the subject,

What would you trust the most, a person of your choosing or a system of your choosing.

For example if one is hospitilized and needs major surgery, where is the trust, the hostpital system (and the society system in general with laws and courts) or a specific doctor/nurse team.

Think about this, a person can go crazy and be corrupted, which a system also can, but what is more likely?

So what do you choose, a system or a person.
 
  • #22
roamer
37
0
Interesting thread, I've never really thought about trust from this angle. My gut reaction says the person who is dominated by their intelligence can always think of some reason why they shouldn't worry about you or why they are right. The most moral person tends to operate based on his morals, in a way this person could be impersonal because he/she would always be thinking about what is right or wrong instead of just reacting to his/her heart. The most sincere person could be sincerely nice or sincerely mean. This leaves the most loving person and the kindest person. In way I kinda think these two are related to be kind you obviously care deeply about someone and to love you also care very deeply about someone. For me though love is unbalanced and totally directed at one person, so it tends to be fickle. So that leaves the kindest person. I know certain situations might call for different strengths but a person who is kind or loving will usaully be able to figure out something to help out the friend.
 
  • #23
motai
358
2
roamer said:
This leaves the most loving person and the kindest person. In way I kinda think these two are related to be kind you obviously care deeply about someone and to love you also care very deeply about someone. For me though love is unbalanced and totally directed at one person, so it tends to be fickle. So that leaves the kindest person. I know certain situations might call for different strengths but a person who is kind or loving will usaully be able to figure out something to help out the friend.

Kindness and loving are both mutually compatible, I don't know of a person who can't be loving and not kind at the same time. I would choose most loving though, because it shows that person would be willing to do absolutely anything to help you out in a troubled situation. It especially works well if there is a deep spiritual bond between the two people.
 
  • #24
Gale
676
2
i'm thinking loving and sincere. Mostly, i choose sencere, but i would hope it was someone with a generally optimistic view on life. i also think sincerity implies a certain level of intelligence or thought, because you can't give a sincere opinion about something if you haven't really considered it.

i like emotion. i like to feel, and i prefer to have those around me who can feel as well. so maybe the most empathetic person. because if someone can feel as i do, but come from a different point of view, that's an opinion i'll value. or if someone can just feel strongly or passionately for whatever reason, i want to know the reason. if i want an opinion, i want thoughtful feelings. and so i'll trust the sorts of people capable of such.
 
  • #25
neurocomp2003
1,366
3
The most moral person could have conflictions between morals. Which would be bad for you.
The smartest person could always go against you.
The most sincere? not really sure what a sincere person would be...
The most loving...mmm i think could also have conflicts
The kindess? perhaps would be the best

But i'll go with my gut instinct and just trust my niece and nephw.
 
  • #26
russ_watters
Mentor
22,050
9,147
Per said:
If you knew of a very reliable pedophile, never failes a molestation, woule you trust this person to babysit your kids?
I would certainly know a reliable pedophile can be trusted to always be a pedophile, so I would not have him babysit my kids.

And that's what I mean by trusting in reliability: a reliable person can always be trusted to be what they are. Terrorsts (all extremists), for example, are typically quite trustworthy: They virtually always admit responsibility for their crimes and you can always trust a terrorist to act like a terrorist at all times. By contrast, someone who is kind but unreliable cannot be trusted to always act out of kindness.

Remember, the question was simply "who do you trust most?". It was not 'who do you trust most to do the right thing?'
 
Last edited:
  • #27
jimmie
162
0
I'll take door #6 Bob. (Les)

The one individual with the furthest mental vision.

Given the present state of affairs on the planet and the many things that can distract one's attention, one individual in the midst of all individuals is able to see that which is possible and that which was not possible; able to see that which is and that which was.

And knowing the difference between real and illusion provides that one individual with the right starting point from which to make logical deductions.

One logical deduction is to consider the present method of business and its rate of effects on the planet, and how those effects affect other human beings; the deduction being it was not possible for the planet to sustain human beings indefinitely under the present method of business.

An other logical deduction is knowing that possessing the furthest mental vision, and therefore knowing what lies ahead for humanity should humanity choose either one road or the other road, is not enough.

For that one individual to be effective- to effectively communicate to others the danger of choosing the other road as opposed to choosing the one heavenly road- that one individual must be willing to be the sum of numbers 1-5, and even more than that.

For that one individual to be effective lest his vision be in vain, that one individual must be willing to give absolutely everything away to communicate what he has seen and knows.

So, uhh...the pewter dude holding a wooden staff, wearing a pointy hat, having a long beard, and holding up in one hand a little crystal ball...that's who I trust the most;
 
  • #28
Reason...
 
  • #29
jimmie
162
0
Reason...

Because only the pewter dude could save an individual from certain extinction.
 
  • #30
Les Sleeth
Gold Member
2,254
2
I don't think you guys are taking this question personally enough. If you look back at how I qualified my question, it was to ask what quality in someone would you most trust as a personal friend . . . who you would let get really close to you, confide in, etc.
 
  • #31
3mpathy
79
0
i would trust the most trustworthy person :P j/k, i know that isn't a real answer

if it was from a political perspective i would trust the person with the least influence/power.



luckyly I am not, I would trust the most loving person because it would not be in their nature to harm you. my second choice would be the sincere person, because if they said they wouldn't tell someone my secrets, they would mean what they said.
 

Suggested for: Who do you Trust Most?

  • Last Post
Replies
16
Views
523
Replies
11
Views
806
Replies
1
Views
114
  • Last Post
Replies
7
Views
339
  • Last Post
2
Replies
42
Views
1K
  • Last Post
Replies
30
Views
2K
Replies
5
Views
256
Replies
50
Views
1K
Replies
10
Views
500
Top