Who do you Trust Most?

  • Thread starter Les Sleeth
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  • #1
Les Sleeth
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Main Question or Discussion Point

Who do you trust most, and why:

1. the smartest person,
2. the most moral person,
3. the most sincere person,
4. the kindest person,
5. the most loving person,
6. or . . . (fill in your choice)

My answer. I trust the kindest person most. I can tolerate the faults of the good-hearted friend -- his deceptions, moral failures, stupidity, selfish lapses when he is afraid, anger . . . if I know that kindness will win out in the end.

What I was thinking about when I wrote the question was what quality in people encourages me most to trust them enough to let them get close to me as a true friend. Right now, for example, I know a lot of people because of a social situation I participate in weekly. I can see that I allow certain people closer than others and I was thinking about why I do.

My three closest friends are far from perfect, especially when they are stressed or worried about something. In spite of their imperfections, and that they might injure me unintentionally with their faults sometime, I also can tell that when they see they've hurt me they are sorry, and enough so to stop or make up for what they've done. We are all the same way in this respect, and I can tell that's why we are friends (plus we are all pretty forgiving . . . maybe I should have put that on the list since being as imperfect as I am I require that in a friend :cool: ).

Anyway, I also can see friendships that seem to have different values at the core of them, and I was wondering what others have found to be the best basis of friendship.
 
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Answers and Replies

  • #2
russ_watters
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The most reliable person.
 
  • #3
Per
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I trust the person with most goodness.
 
  • #4
Pengwuino
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I'll take one of the given choices to make this decently interesting.

I pick the most sincere.
 
  • #5
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Considering all 5 choices, I can not imagine how one can be the other on your list without the other traits.
Each trait gives rise to the other.

I would take advice from a person 1-5 as I see them all as one person.
 
  • #6
Per
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russ_watters said:
The most reliable person.
If you knew of a very reliable pedophile, never failes a molestation, woule you trust this person to babysit your kids?
 
  • #7
Pengwuino
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You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?
 
  • #8
Per
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Pengwuino said:
I'll take one of the given choices to make this decently interesting.

I pick the most sincere.
Would you date and marry a sincere woman serial killer?
 
  • #9
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Pengwuino said:
You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?
If you are speaking of people possessing the true essence of these traits?
NO.

S
 
  • #10
Per
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Pengwuino said:
You mean you can't think of anyone whos smart but not sincere? or not moral but kind?
No it said most, therefore it is very hard to find one who is the top kind person who also is the top moral guy.

If not most, then of course you can have a moral kind loving smart reliable guy.
 
  • #11
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Per said:
Would you date and marry a sincere woman serial killer?
A sincere woman serial killer is sincerely confused/ill.
 
  • #12
Per
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Shoshana said:
A sincere woman serial killer is sincerely confused/ill.
Atleast she is caught quickly. :smile:
 
  • #13
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Per said:
Atleast she is caught quickly. :smile:
Very good point.
So good traits with bad habits can help a person increase good traits?
 
  • #14
Math Is Hard
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I think it all depends on the situation. If I were shopping for a surgeon, I would trust the most skillful person. If I were seeking a confidante, then I would probably trust the most moral person (who would not betray my trust).
 
  • #15
Les Sleeth
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I chose kindness from experience with my friends. Some of them might err in any of the other areas, even to the point of hurting me. But when they see they are hurting it makes them stop.
 
  • #16
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Les Sleeth said:
I chose kindness from experience with my friends. Some of them might err in any of the other areas, even to the point of hurting me. But when they see they are hurting it makes them stop.
I feel this is a very good point.
People with basic goodness adjust the otherwise rotten behaviors that are a natural part of being human and living in a wild environment ( like any society on the planet at the moment, or at least most.
Good natured people don't LIKE behaving badly. It buggs them until they adjust a situation.
That again why I believe all the good traits on the above list can be found in most basically good people.
S
 
  • #17
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The most moral person in any case, however that begs a question.

Just HOW do you know they are the most moral? Self-claiming is known (at least, to me) to be the most inaccurate way.
 
  • #18
Lisa!
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First tell us what you mean by trusting someone? Sharing your secrets with them? Believe what they say? Ask them to take care of something or someone for you? In every case my answer is different. So I'd be grateful if you make it specific, otherwise I can't answer your question!
Have I misunderstood you?:redface:
 
  • #19
Les Sleeth
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Lisa! said:
First tell us what you mean by trusting someone? Sharing your secrets with them? Believe what they say? Ask them to take care of something or someone for you? In every case my answer is different. So I'd be grateful if you make it specific, otherwise I can't answer your question!
Have I misunderstood you?:redface:
No you haven't misunderstood at all. After reading some of the answers I could see how "trust" can mean many things. Russ answered the most reliable, which in certain circumstances I would choose as well. If someone were telling me he/she felt a certain way, I would hope for sincerity . . . and so on. Rather than explain here, I'll go back to the first post and clarify. Hopefully that will help you answer.
 
  • #20
Lisa!
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Les Sleeth said:
No you haven't misunderstood at all. After reading some of the answers I could see how "trust" can mean many things. Russ answered the most reliable, which in certain circumstances I would choose as well. If someone were telling me he/she felt a certain way, I would hope for sincerity . . . and so on. Rather than explain here, I'll go back to the first post and clarify. Hopefully that will help you answer.
Thanks! Yeah, that helped alot.

I have no problem to make friends with any kind of people provided that they would be easygoing. I even have some close friends that they're not very decent people. I mean some of them are too selfish and dishonest sometimes, but I've been able to treat them to behave another way towards me. For example they never tell me lies and are always honest with me, since they know I can easily realize when they're lying and when they're not. In case they are selfish, I just help them in the cases that doesn't take too much for me. I mean for example doing something immoral or spending too much time on something when it doesn't have any benefit or pleasure for me! I choose them as friends because we can have nice time together and be useful for each other( for example learn useful thing from each other)! So as long as their selfishness and dishonesty doesn't hurt me at all and it couldn't have bad efect on my behaviors, I can't see any problem to be close to them!
I think in a friendship, you need to know your friend and then know how to behave towards them! If my friend is unreliable, I never count on him/her whenever something is important to me. Or I never share my secrets with a friend whom s/he's not able to keep it for himself!
And of course I always forgive people when I know they've not done something offensive in order to hurt me.
Hope I'd understand you well now!
 
  • #21
Per
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Trusting a person or trusting a system

A question remains on the subject,

What would you trust the most, a person of your choosing or a system of your choosing.

For example if one is hospitilized and needs major surgery, where is the trust, the hostpital system (and the society system in general with laws and courts) or a specific doctor/nurse team.

Think about this, a person can go crazy and be corrupted, which a system also can, but what is more likely?

So what do you choose, a system or a person.
 
  • #22
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Interesting thread, I've never really thought about trust from this angle. My gut reaction says the person who is dominated by their intelligence can always think of some reason why they shouldn't worry about you or why they are right. The most moral person tends to operate based on his morals, in a way this person could be impersonal because he/she would always be thinking about what is right or wrong instead of just reacting to his/her heart. The most sincere person could be sincerly nice or sincerely mean. This leaves the most loving person and the kindest person. In way I kinda think these two are related to be kind you obviously care deeply about someone and to love you also care very deeply about someone. For me though love is unbalanced and totally directed at one person, so it tends to be fickle. So that leaves the kindest person. I know certain situations might call for different strengths but a person who is kind or loving will usaully be able to figure out something to help out the friend.
 
  • #23
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roamer said:
This leaves the most loving person and the kindest person. In way I kinda think these two are related to be kind you obviously care deeply about someone and to love you also care very deeply about someone. For me though love is unbalanced and totally directed at one person, so it tends to be fickle. So that leaves the kindest person. I know certain situations might call for different strengths but a person who is kind or loving will usaully be able to figure out something to help out the friend.
Kindness and loving are both mutually compatible, I don't know of a person who can't be loving and not kind at the same time. I would choose most loving though, because it shows that person would be willing to do absolutely anything to help you out in a troubled situation. It especially works well if there is a deep spiritual bond between the two people.
 
  • #24
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i'm thinking loving and sincere. Mostly, i choose sencere, but i would hope it was someone with a generally optimistic view on life. i also think sincerity implies a certain level of intelligence or thought, because you can't give a sincere opinion about something if you haven't really considered it.

i like emotion. i like to feel, and i prefer to have those around me who can feel as well. so maybe the most empathetic person. because if someone can feel as i do, but come from a different point of view, thats an opinion i'll value. or if someone can just feel strongly or passionately for whatever reason, i want to know the reason. if i want an opinion, i want thoughtful feelings. and so i'll trust the sorts of people capable of such.
 
  • #25
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The most moral person could have conflictions between morals. Which would be bad for you.
The smartest person could always go against you.
The most sincere? not really sure what a sincere person would be...
The most loving...mmm i think could also have conflicts
The kindess? perhaps would be the best

But i'll go with my gut instinct and just trust my niece and nephw.
 

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