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Why did you choose this Career?

  1. Dec 16, 2009 #1
    What is your current career?
    Why and how did you choose it? Was it your only choice? Was there any chance for you to choose between 2 or more jobs?

    Please visit Link and leave your reply

    < url / link deleted>


    Thank you,

    You're welcome :tongue2:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 16, 2009
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 30, 2009 #2
    If you're already going to a school, see if you've got a writing center on campus. If so, vist and have a tutor work with you on the piece.

    a) Even at 250 words, it needs to be a short story. The way you've currently got it structured, you're dropping the story half way through. You need to bring
    back to sonography, which should take a sentence or a couple more words.
    b) You're really thin on the answer to "why sonography?". You spend 2/3rds of the essay on the background history, and then give your brother-in-law background as the answer. There needs to be more you, even if you have to condense some of the history.
    c) You probably can cut the first or first two paragraphs and start at the third if you need the words. Figure out what information the scholarship committee will see anyway on a different form or in a different essay.
    d) You've gotta clean up the grammar. Even assuming the readers will make allowances because you're an ESL speaker (and that's a big if), some of your sentences are so awkward they're hurting your clarity.
    e) This probably isn't the correct thread to ask your question.

    I don't have a career, as I'm still a student.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2009
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