Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys?

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  • #1
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I understand why women like tall, muscular, wealthy men, but why do (most) women like bad boys? Countless times we hear women saying they know a certain type of man is bad for them but they keep falling for them, why is this? "Nice guys finish last" is a cliche because it's largely true.
There was a study, which I cannot find, which showed that women will date the bad boy then marry the quiet, nice nerd, but then still go out and have an affair with some tall muscular man.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I'm not a bad boy, btw, I'm ok with who I am.
 

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  • #2
Evo
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This is such a misconception about women. Only women with low self esteem look for emotionally abusive men. I know of that "study", it was debunked, it was a poll taken of 100 18-21 year old female college students.
 
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  • #3
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It's not so much 'bad boys' but girls IMO tend to like guys that are extremely confident. Confident guys tend to carry around that 'bad boy' look.
 
  • #4
Evo
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It's not so much 'bad boys' but girls IMO tend to like guys that are extremely confident. Confident guys tend to carry around that 'bad boy' look.
I would agree that most women would prefer a confident man, someone with a backbone, someone that can make decisions and take action. But confidence, not arrogance, some people don't know the difference.
 
  • #5
Vanadium 50
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Only women with self esteem look for emotionally abusive men.
I think the word "low" is missing somewhere. :smile:
 
  • #6
Evo
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I think the word "low" is missing somewhere. :smile:
Ok, I was swallowing some tea, I really do need to put a tarp over my keyboard.

Fixed.
 
  • #7
Borek
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  • #9
Dembadon
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I would agree that most women would prefer a confident man, someone with a backbone, someone that can make decisions and take action. But confidence, not arrogance, some people don't know the difference.
Evo's post is very similar to my wife's response to this question.

Summarizing a recent conversation with my wife about this very issue:

She said that it's comforting to know that if a situation were to arise where we were in danger, that I could be trusted to do everything in my power to ensure the safety of not just myself, but her as well, and that she would not be alone in fighting for a solution.

The "bad boy" image can be displayed in ways that don't break laws, such as stepping in and telling her father that I will not stand for him talking to her in the way he does, which is something I had to do during the last family get-together. He was being incredibly disrespectful and very rude, and I had heard enough. I'm one of the very few who will stand up to him; a 300 pound, successful, defense lawyer. He is loud, intimidating, and very aggressive in all facets of communication, and doesn't care about people's personal boundaries. I'm simply not intimidated by his intellect or physical size, nor do I care what he thinks of me; however, I always do my best to communicate with respect. She says it is for this very reason that he has a great deal of respect for me.

To often we think of a "bad boy" as someone with a criminal record, scars from knife/gun fights, a foul mouth, rebellious attitude, and a bunch of tattoos. While these things can communicate a degree of safety and protection, they do so at such an extreme, that it is likely to be too extreme, and often backfires, which can result in unhealthy relationships and behavior that jeopardizes anyone involved with them.

A person doesn't need to have a partner who is dangerous and rebellious in order to feel secure; it is quite possible, and highly advisable, to find someone who will fulfill this desire in a mature, wise, and selfless manner.
 
  • #10
Borek
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If all women thought alike, a book would indeed be helpful.

How about "all women use sex to trap a husband, once they're married they lose interest". This one is actually true. :wink:
I have already browsed, from what I have seen this particular case is described as well. I am not sure if there are any statistical data given, but variability of the reasons listed seems to be overwhelming.

And fact that confident men are seen as more attractive is there also.
 
  • #11
arildno
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But confidence, not arrogance, some people don't know the difference.
Since, presumably, "people" includes "women", some women don't know the difference between arrogance and confidence, either.

And thus, they DO fall for the genuinely "bad" boys...
 
  • #12
lisab
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Since, presumably, "people" includes "women", some women don't know the difference between arrogance and confidence, either.

And thus, they DO fall for the genuinely "bad" boys...
True.

Like others here, I think it's not "bad" vs "good", but alpha vs. beta males. Women prefer alphas.
 
  • #13
Evo
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Since, presumably, "people" includes "women", some women don't know the difference between arrogance and confidence, either.

And thus, they DO fall for the genuinely "bad" boys...
And some women allow themselves to get into abusive relationships because they don't have enough self esteem to get out at the first sign. I always told my girls that NO ONE has the right to touch you in any way you do not like and the same thing goes for how they talk to you or show respect for you.

Unfortunately a lot of girls do not have positive role models, or were raised in an abusive home and think that's all they deserve, some are just braindead bimbos.

I still believe that the majority of women, based on my personal experience, have brains and self esteem.
 
  • #14
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I understand why women like tall, muscular, wealthy men, but why do (most) women like bad boys?
. . . she purposely pursues him and wins for her prize, his dominant genes for her offspring . . .
 
  • #15
Evo
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. . . she purposely pursues him and wins for her prize, his dominant genes for her offspring . . .
You're suggesting women want their children to be morons?
 
  • #16
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You're suggesting women want their children to be morons?
. . . not gonna' win a biology fight with me Ms. Evo. Wait . . . that's arrogance isn't it? Dang it! Hate when that happens. Where was I? . . . oh yeah, my answer is no. I'm simply suggesting women want healthy babies with fit, successful, healthy genes or at least they should want them to improve the chance of their children surviving. I never implied that was the bad-boy however and if she is perceived as desiring him, then perhaps some of his qualities might meet her requirements in that pursuit.
 
  • #17
Evo
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. . . not gonna' win a biology fight with me Ms. Evo. Wait . . . that's arrogance isn't it? Dang it! Hate when that happens. Where was I? . . . oh yeah, my answer is no. I'm simply suggesting women want healthy babies with fit, successful, healthy genes or at least they should want them to improve the chance of their children surviving. I never implied that was the bad-boy however and if she is perceived as desiring him, then perhaps some of his qualities might meet her requirements in that pursuit.
The question you responded to was
but why do (most) women like bad boys?
Someone has to breed the lower end of the spectrum, I guess.
 
  • #18
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The question you responded to was

Someone has to breed the lower end of the spectrum, I guess.
Not sure what you mean by that and I am playing about the "winning" thing just so I could use the "arrogance" thing. I do kinda' play some in here and hope it's not taken too serious.
 
  • #19
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I am bad but not very popular among girls :cry:


I think being a drug addict, lack of responsibility, arrogance, or involved in violence does not necessarily make one bad. There are far too many other things like emotionally inapproachable, too independent, less attached etc that can make one bad.

I think bringing humor to any kind of situation and emotionally relating to others are very good qualities, and girls do love these kind of guys.

Edit: added necessarily.
 
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  • #20
Evo
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I think being a drug addict, lack of responsibility, arrogance, or involved in violence does not make one bad. There are far too many other things like emotionally inapproachable, too independent, less attached etc that can make one bad.
I think you got that backwards. :bugeye:
 
  • #21
Astronuc
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I think there is a missing word or two or few.

I think it meant to be more along the lines of "I think being a drug addict, lack of responsibility, arrogance, or involved in violence aren't the only ways that make one bad. There are far too many . . . . "

'Necessarily' isn't the missing word.
 
  • #22
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I think you got that backwards. :bugeye:
*fixed.

I would argue that being arrogant or involved in harmful activities isn't much related to the capability of getting into a successful relationship.
 
  • #23
Astronuc
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*fixed.

I would argue that being arrogant or involved in harmful activities isn't much related to the capability of getting into a successful relationship.
Umm - what?! I think it depends on what one means by 'successful'. I could see that one could successfully get into a relationship, but I suspect such a relationship would be short term. Then again, there have been long term dysfunctional (codependent) relationships that are ulimately destructive to the participants.

Being arrogant or involved in harmful activities are indications of a personality disorder or dysfunctional mind. 'Being involved in harmful activities' would seem to imply either a self-destructive tendency, or injurious to others, and that doesn't make for a successful relationship for well-adjusted people.
 
  • #24
Evo
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I think there is a missing word or two or few.

I think it meant to be more along the lines of "I think being a drug addict, lack of responsibility, arrogance, or involved in violence aren't the only ways that make one bad. There are far too many . . . . "

'Necessarily' isn't the missing word.
Yeah, it's still wrong.
 
  • #25
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There was a study, which I cannot find, which showed that women will date the bad boy then marry the quiet, nice nerd, but then still go out and have an affair with some tall muscular man.
Can you blame them ? :devil:
 

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