Why do some people cheat on their partners?

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could it be somehow someones fault when his/her partner cheat on him/her?


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  • #1
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why some people cheat on their partners? dont you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Curious3141
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No. Saying it's (even partially) someone's fault when said partner (in a declared monogamous relationship) cheats on them is no different from saying it's a woman's fault she got raped because she was dressed sexily or a man's fault he got mugged because he was wearing a Rolex.
 
  • #3
Astronuc
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Cheating is a matter of one 'choosing' to break a promise and violate the partner's trust and the integrity of the relationship. And perhaps about 50% of populations choose to do so - apparently with men in the 50+% range, and women in the 35-50% range. It seems in the US, that rate infidelity by women has increased and is catching up with that of the male population during the last decade or so.

Relationships, especially marriage, take hard work. Both partners have a responsbility to make the relationship work. Both partners have needs and wants, and it's up to each to make those known to the other partner in the relationship. Communication is absolutely necessary in a relationship.

If one wants to cheat, then one should break the relationship and then pursue the other relationship. But then one may find similar problems with that relationship.

Is it possible to find someone who is perhaps more suitable or compatible than one's partner? Yes - it is possible.
 
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  • #4
Moonbear
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Nope, it's squarely on the shoulders of the person doing the cheating. If the relationship is so bad you need to form another, put an end to the bad one first.
 
  • #5
Evo
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why some people cheat on their partners? dont you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
No, it's immature to cheat on your partner just because they cheated on you. Why would you want to lower yourself to their level? Either you can accept that your partner is a cheater or preferably you have enough self worth to dump them and find someone that has more respect for you. Of course if you don't care if they cheat, that's completely different, but I'm assumming you're talking about a normal monogamous relationship.

how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
If I was in a commited monogamous relationship, of course I would remain loyal to them.
 
  • #6
radou
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I agree with most of you folks, but consider this possible situation:

Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

Now, I wouldn't call this morally correct, but it's definitely acceptable, for a certain group of people. Although, I believe intelligent people can always (with a considerable effort invested, of course!) work things out and make a relationship work properly.
 
  • #7
Monique
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If I was in a commited monogamous relationship, of course I would remain loyal to them.

"them"? :biggrin:

As said, cheating is a decision made by the person doing it. Ofcourse the partner can be a contributing factor to making the decision whether to cheat or not, but it is never their fault.
 
  • #8
chroot
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Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

These kind of alternative relationships are rather like communism: they're interesting to talk about, and maybe even make sense in theory -- but they never really work in practice.

- Warren
 
  • #9
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These kind of alternative relationships are rather like communism: they're interesting to talk about, and maybe even make sense in theory -- but they never really work in practice.

- Warren

Same thing with monogamous relationships.
 
  • #10
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Only if they chehated on you first in which case you should get them back by sleeping with their close friend and/or sister and/or mother.
 
  • #11
Evo
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Only if they chehated on you first in which case you should get them back by sleeping with their close friend and/or sister and/or mother.
I hope you're joking because that's the worst advice I've ever heard.
 
  • #12
People cheat because monogamy sucks.
 
  • #13
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why some people cheat on their partners? dont you think it could be someones fault too when his partner cheat on them?
how about yourself? would you stay loyal to your partner even if you meet someone whos cooler than he/she?
I voted definitely because I don't think you can factor out your partner's actions when examining the decisions of a cheater/non-cheater. I think they obviously are gonna have a big effect on the outcome. Then again, there's a friend of mine who's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. I haven't known her that long but I figure she's either dating clones or it's mostly in her head. But still, let's not jump to conclusions and just write the partner out. I have a feeling this thread is about to become to literary equivalent of beating two dead puppies together. Poor monogamy. Poor freewill.
 
  • #14
JasonRox
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People cheat because monogamy sucks.

I totally agree.

People cheat because there are so many chumps and plugs out there that after a year or two being with them you realize this. And when you meet someone that isn't a chump or plug, you just want him or her. People deny it all they want, but honestly, when I here a girl has a boyfriend, I don't even flinch because I know I can still get her.

Girls with boyfriends fly under the radar since most guys won't go for them.
 
  • #15
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I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.
 
  • #16
JasonRox
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I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.

Yeah, that's it. :rolleyes:
 
  • #17
Lisa!
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I agree with most of you folks, but consider this possible situation:

Assume you have a partner who pleases you in every way except sexual. So you form another relation which is almost completely sexually oriented.

Now, I wouldn't call this morally correct, but it's definitely acceptable, for a certain group of people. Although, I believe intelligent people can always (with a considerable effort invested, of course!) work things out and make a relationship work properly.
hmmm...when you're not interested in someone physically, they can be just your friend not spouse!:wink:
 
  • #18
radou
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hmmm...when you're not interested in someone physically, they can be just your friend not spouse!:wink:

I don't agree with that in general, but that's another pair of shoes. :smile:
 
  • #19
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I asked my wife about this and she said that most people cheat because they have a death wish.

Reminds me of the story of Winston Churchill and the obnoxious woman who said to him "If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"

To which Churchill replied "If YOU were my wife, I'd drink it!"
 

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