this goes under the philosophy of religion: hello. this is my first post. greetings. first of all, it's *not* because someone told me to. and i'm not telling you to. in fact, i want you to find your own way to the truth. i know it sounds crazy, but i can feel the presence of God. it doesn't speak to me, there are no burning bushes, no miracles, etc. i just feel peace, love, and bliss when i am in connection with it. at times, these feelings are so profound, it is almost overwhelming. i would compare a couple of occasions to near-death experiences. most of the time, i feel those feelings to a lesser extent, but they're usually there unless i raise obstacles against them. it started during a dream when i said "God?" i asked the air because i felt a presence i couldn't identify. i immediately woke up and i was in a very altered state. i was profoundly at peace and very blissful. i walked around very slowly and time seemed to stand still. these words don't seem to quite capture the profundity of the experience. it had a lasting impression on me up to this day, one month later. i've been writing quite a lot, though not neccessarily about that experience or about God. i feel inspired. i grew up a christian but left organized religion for various reasons. contradictions in the bible, the crusades, the inquisition, misconduct of priests, etc (not that those are necessarily really good reasons but i was 15). i vacillated between athiesm and agnosticism and dabbled in the occult, settling on agnosticism. i firmly believed that i would never receive proof either way that God exists. then an odd thing happened. within the last year, i don't know when or *why*, i started believing in God again. i just don't know what changed my mind. none of my friends know. and then i started having these experiences once every few months as described of profound peace, love, and bliss in which i'd feel particularly close to God. so, in short, i didn't see God with my eyes, but i did "see" God. i experienced a sort of communion with God. i remember feeling a *much* lesser version of it when i took communion in church. it has occured to me that maybe this is all just altered brain chemistry. it really doesn't matter to me. by all appearances, it might as well be God. if it looks like a duck, smells like a duck... another thing is that this happened a few weeks after i started actively seeking a closer connection with God. i'm reading "the eye of the i: from which nothing is hidden" which is about someone's relevant experience. all i did was pray for this connection and journal my progress. that's it. then i started to feel the connection better. and then one day, bamn, it hit me like a ton of bricks. and that was proof enough for me. what i think is interesting is people who believe in God on faith without having any connection to God or communion with God. that's like having faith that pluto exists without having ever looked into a telescope. that's not to say that faith is unjustified. but the first hand experience reinforces the faith. i don't have faith in God. i know God exists from first hand experience. as if i've seen pluto through the telescope. and it's a life-changing experience. to once and for all have the question finally settled, to once be an athiest and agnostic and now be, not a believer, but a knower. but i'm not a christian. nor am i apart of a religion. i don't know anything about adam and eve or jesus. i don't know about buddha or muhamed. moses or ezekiel. what i do is hear what they say and extract what is right for me. i read the writing and what resonates elevates my level of consciousness. the same could be said for what malai5 writes. i also have no idea what will happen when we die. i don't know if there is a heaven or a hell. in short, all i know is what i've experienced. and that is God. phew! that was long. i don't normally write that much. thank you for patiently reading.