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Will we never understand?

  1. Apr 27, 2010 #1
    Will we never understand?!?

    All right, let me start off by briefly noting that the last major encounter with the opposite sex I've had in terms of a potential relationship has been less than favorable. The most recent being, an infatuation with this amazingly intelligent woman (or so I had thought) who had portrayed a strong interest in me, even after I told her how I felt...only for me to later find out that she already had a boyfriend (who knew?).

    Generally dissuaded and utterly offended, I have recently decided to hold off on the relationship stuff...mainly because I am moving to a new area very, very soon, and would hate to try and suffer through a long distance relationship. The main issue I have right now, is that all of the girls who had kept their feelings about me at bay, are suddenly pouring them out. All at once, in the knowledge that in 3 months, I will no longer be within 300 miles of this very city. Many of them are long time friends, and it is quite alarming that they'd all choose to reveal how they feel at the same time...and I'm also quite nervous as to how this new-found public knowledge will affect their own friendships. I'm also a bit frustrated with them all, in general, because when they tell me these things, I choose to make the situation as non-awkward as possible, and act as though nothing significant has happened...(this should work, assuming they realize that I am not sticking around)...but this doesn't seem to be the case. They all, regardless of how casually I try to ignore the very state of the matter, think it's completely fine to tell others that I have admitted without directly saying that I like them in the SAME WAY (operative phrase being in bold)??? How does one salvage a friendship, yet dissuade her from self-concocted delusions??!!?! :frown:

    This brings me to the very nature of the thread...

    1.) Why do some women choose to reveal the most shocking news at the least favorable moments?

    2.) Why do some women take non-existent signals from men as a means to proclaiming whatever they wish, to every single other individual they know?

    3.) And, why do some women seem so content to play these sleights-of-hand on men?

    I don't mean to offend anyone in any way, shape or form (also admitting that this only applies to some women and not nearly all), and knowing that the majority of users on this forum are men, I would greatly appreciate input from women! Thanks for suffering through this long thread, and hopefully real progress will take place here. :confused:
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 28, 2010 #2
    Re: Will we never understand?!?

    Speaking as a guy plenty, if not more guys do whats described above...especially #2. I think it has more to do with the fact that sometimes people feel the need to just "get it out there" before you leave for good. I actually had that happen to me with a girl I was interested in, and she tells me she's interested about a week before she's gone for the summer and I would be in another city for university in the fall.

    It is however a little odd that all those women think you admitted you liked them, and that they would tell enough people that it would get back to you. Have you considered that you might be sending mixed signals to "try and soften the blow" when you reject their advances.
  4. Apr 29, 2010 #3
    Re: Will we never understand?!?

    It is quite strange, I agree. I have thought long and hard, and can honestly say that I quite noticeably diverted from the subject purposefully, trying hard to not send mixed signals...but apparently different people pick up different signals, whether they exist or not.
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