Words of Wisdom

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  • #26
jimmy p
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"Never pet a burning dog" - Anon

"Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement" - Anon
 
  • #27
Tsu
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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
 
  • #28
Tsu
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There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
 
  • #29
Evo
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Tsunami said:
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :yuck:
 
  • #30
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Tsunami said:
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Sounds like you got something to tell. :tongue:
 
  • #31
Tsu
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Chrono said:
Sounds like you got something to tell. :tongue:
Nah. Sorry. For me that would be a no-brainer (unless my memory got so bad that I FORGOT that I took a laxative when it was time for my sleeping pill!!! :surprised However, since I use neither laxatives nor sleeping pills, the point is moot). :biggrin:

It was in a list of words of wisdom just sent to me by a friend. I just thought it was particularly funny. :biggrin:
 
  • #32
Math Is Hard
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One of my mama's favorite sayings:

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it."
 
  • #33
Tsu
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Tsunami said:
Nah. Sorry. For me that would be a no-brainer (unless my memory got so bad that I FORGOT that I took a laxative when it was time for my sleeping pill!!! :surprised However, since I use neither laxatives nor sleeping pills, the point is moot). :biggrin:

It was in a list of words of wisdom just sent to me by a friend. I just thought it was particularly funny. :biggrin:
OH! And I see my dear Ivan has STOLEN my friend's words of wisdom and posted them in his LAME JOKES thread!! :grumpy: AARRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
 
  • #34
Tsu
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Math Is Hard said:
One of my mama's favorite sayings:

"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig enjoys it."
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

errrrmmm... but... I'm not sure that would WASH :surprised :rofl: with me. You see, I just LOVE to go and and get real dirty! And wrestling with a pig really almost sounds kinda, you know,... FUN!!! :biggrin: :biggrin: I've wrestled with sheep before and that was pretty hysterical... :biggrin: :rofl:
 
  • #35
Math Is Hard
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Tsunami said:
I've wrestled with sheep before and that was pretty hysterical... :biggrin: :rofl:
Sheep wrestling! That's hilarious! :rofl: :rofl: Oh! the things you get up to, Tsu!! Sometimes I think Ivan should just follow you around with a video camera! Have we ever seen you on one of those "Funniest Home Videos" shows? :biggrin:
 
  • #36
Tsu
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Math Is Hard said:
Sheep wrestling! That's hilarious! :rofl: :rofl: Oh! the things you get up to, Tsu!! Sometimes I think Ivan should just follow you around with a video camera! Have we ever seen you on one of those "Funniest Home Videos" shows? :biggrin:
Not a CHANCE!! I don't let any kind of camera anywhere NEAR me!! They steal my SPIRIT!!! :rofl: :rofl:

The only picture of me that I allow others to see is the one I posted in the Member Photo thread. (My friends snuck a shot of me while I was waterskiing - I'm the speck at the end of the rope in front of the spray of water. It was my 50th Birthday Party Picture. Wish they'd got a shot of one of my rooster tails!!! I was shoulder-skimmin' THAT day!!! WOOHOO!!!! :wink: :biggrin:)
 
  • #37
Tsu
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More words of wisdom:

DO NOT sit down on top of the jet-boat wake while waterskiing.
(Unless you really WANT a 50-70mph enema - or douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !!!!!!)
Not a pretty picture...
 
  • #38
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One death is a tragedy, one million deaths is a statistic.

Ideas are much more dangerous than guns, we don't let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have Ideas?

You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

-Some Wisdom from Josef Stalin.
 
  • #39
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Tsunami said:
douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !!!!!!
I think it's best that I didn't comment on that.
 
  • #40
Tsu
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Chrono said:
I think it's best that I didn't comment on that.
Yes. I think you're right. :wink:
 
  • #41
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Tsunami said:
Yes. I think you're right. :wink:
And people always ask why I'm so quiet. :confused:
 
  • #42
Gokul43201
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A man falls into a hole and can't find a way out.

He sees a doctor passing by and shouts out "doctor, help me please."

The doctor, writes out a prescription, throws it in the hole, and walks away.

Later, he sees a priest passing by, and begs for help.

The priest writes out a prayer, throws it in the hole, and walks away.

Finally, he sees a friend passing by, and asks him for help. The friend immediately jumps into the hole. The man says to his friend : "Why did you do something so stupid ? Now we're both stuck here."

The friend replies : "Yes, I know what it's like to be down here. I've been here before, and I know the way out."


-- Leo McGarry, The West Wing
 
  • #43
Tsu
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Some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield.
 
  • #44
jimmy p
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Somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.
 
  • #45
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Tsunami said:
More words of wisdom:

DO NOT sit down on top of the jet-boat wake while waterskiing.
(Unless you really WANT a 50-70mph enema - or douche/enema combo if you're a woman! - !!!!!!)
Not a pretty picture...
Want to hear my jet ski experience? It was the first time I ever tried riding one. Everyone was giving me pointers telling me to sort of lie down behind it and grab the handlebar, give it some gas, then carefully stand up. Sounded easy so I got into position, gave it some gas and the jet of water whipped my shorts down. I reached back with one hand to retrieve my shorts from my ankles and accidently gave it more gas. The jet of water whipped my testicles down around my ankles.
 
  • #46
jimmy p
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tribdog said:
Want to hear my jet ski experience? It was the first time I ever tried riding one. Everyone was giving me pointers telling me to sort of lie down behind it and grab the handlebar, give it some gas, then carefully stand up. Sounded easy so I got into position, gave it some gas and the jet of water whipped my shorts down. I reached back with one hand to retrieve my shorts from my ankles and accidently gave it more gas. The jet of water whipped my testicles down around my ankles.

More words of wisdom...

Never let dogs ride jet skis.
 
  • #47
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0
A witty saying never proved a thing.-Voltaire.
Klingon saying:-
Act fast and there will be dinner, think too slow and u will be dinner.
Today is a good day to die.
 
  • #48
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You got that last one wrong. I thought it was: Today is a good day to die.

I can't do it. I was going to attribute that quote to jimmy's cat. but that would have been going over the line.
 
  • #49
jimmy p
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Hypercase said:
Today is a good day to die.

tribdog said:
You got that last one wrong. I thought it was: Today is a good day to die.

There is the difference?? where are you from? Mars?

I can't do it. I was going to attribute that quote to jimmy's cat. but that would have been going over the line.
Maybe a little but you always live on the edge. Besides you are a day late.
 

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