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Write a Limerick thread

  1. May 13, 2004 #1
    This is a lim-e-rick thread
    As you can tell from the head
    If you are a writer
    Please pass the lighter
    Otherwise my face will go red
  2. jcsd
  3. May 13, 2004 #2


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    Dearly Missed

    There was this guy from Texas,
    who'd found a terrorist nexus
    in a little known zoo
    in the cage of a kangaroo
    he went in, well armed, but was kicked in the solar plexus
  4. May 13, 2004 #3
    There once was a woman in lace
    Her boobs were all over the place
    Her friends were disgusted
    With laughter they busted
    And sent her out into space
  5. May 13, 2004 #4
    There once was a man in leather
    With his groin he could tell the weather
    But he never eats
    'Cause he's got so much meat
    So he just floated off like a feather

    ...I seem to have a theme...people in kinky clothing leaving the earth...
  6. May 14, 2004 #5


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    Here's one I wrote and performed at the poetry slam of this year's Towards a Science of Consciousness convention in Tuscon. disclaimer: You need some familiarity with philosophy of mind to completely get it. :tongue2:

    "A British Philosopher of Mind Talks Past His Eliminativist Woman on their First Date." (read in a British accent to make the rhymes work... and to increase the humor value. :biggrin: )

    I once met a colorblind Mary
    Whose paradigms I did quite fancy
    We concurred a great deal
    But when I brought up 'raw feels'
    She gave me a slap prima facie!
  7. May 14, 2004 #6
    The Absent Minded Jellyfish

    When a jellyfish goes out a walkin',
    All the people around start a talkin'.
    On his tentacles, ten,
    He'll wear shoes, just like men
    But he'll never remember one stockin'.
    Last edited: May 14, 2004
  8. May 14, 2004 #7
    A Night At The Opera

    Once a jellyfish sang at the opera,
    But was cursed by what sounded like doppla'.
    Though she sang like a harp,
    Every note ended sharp,
    And she never became really popla'.
    Last edited: May 15, 2004
  9. May 14, 2004 #8

    jimmy p

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    I always wanted to know how

    "there was an old man from Nantucket" ended.

    There was a young lad called Jim
    Who thought he would go for a swim
    He jumped in the pool
    And felt like a fool
    Cos there was no water in.
  10. May 14, 2004 #9
    There once was a boy with a problem
    It seems something was wrong with his noggin'
    "My name's Jimmy P"
    "and what's bothering me"
    "Is I can't tell my head from my bottom."
  11. May 14, 2004 #10


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    There once was a man from Nantucket,
    Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
    But his daughter, named Nan,
    Ran away with a man,
    And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
  12. May 14, 2004 #11
    You can get away with "problem" (problum) and "bottom" (bottum) but "noggin"s gotta go.
  13. May 14, 2004 #12
    In Nantucket there was an old man
    Who got lost on his way to the can.
    He looked all around,
    But it couldn't be found.
    So he improvised with an old pan.
  14. May 15, 2004 #13
    On the far away planet Zooby
    Lives an alien critical to me
    "I don't like your rhyme,"
    "It's a waste of my time."
    Oh why does he treat me so sh*tty?
  15. May 15, 2004 #14
    If you're trying for rhyming with "Zooby"
    The vowels you're seeking are "oo ee".
    To use the word "sh*tty"
    Is wrong. (And not pretty.)
    And it just makes you look like a booby.
  16. May 15, 2004 #15
    I wonder if Zooby is drunk
    his critique is nothing but bunk.
    He should be nice
    cause I won't ask him twice.
    "Now do you feel lucky? Punk."
  17. May 15, 2004 #16
    Now Zooby I don't want to fight.
    This really could take us all night.
    So listen to this:
    Do you want to kiss?
    Just ask me. And maybe, I might.
  18. May 15, 2004 #17
    What a stupid mistake, I say.
    Zooby's an honorary gray.
    I misread his name
    now I'm filled shame.
    I kissed 'cause I thought it said gay.
  19. May 16, 2004 #18

    Math Is Hard

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    LOL!!!! nicely done!
  20. May 16, 2004 #19


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    Tribdog, you are too much. :biggrin:
  21. May 16, 2004 #20
    Tribdog, will you have my babies?
  22. May 16, 2004 #21
    Now that I've taught poor Tribdog to rhyme,
    All the girls want a piece of his time.
    I hope now he'll see
    That advice that's from me
    Steers him clear of poetical crime.
  23. May 16, 2004 #22
    Zooby, I feel like a fool.
    But I really enjoyed having our duel.
    While I think I'm the best
    I can say without jest,
    Your rhyming was truely a jewel.
  24. May 16, 2004 #23
    It could be that now you're the best,
    Since your lines can now pass the rhyme test,
    But it's quite plain to see
    You're a nut, just like me,
    To waste time in a limerick fest.
  25. May 17, 2004 #24
    Well, Zooby. Our dues have been paid.
    So now we can stop this charade.
    If we play our cards right,
    put a stop to this fight.
    these poems just might get us laid.
  26. May 17, 2004 #25


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    A limmerick is not fancy prose.
    This is a fact that everyone knows!
    You can make 'em wordy,
    But if they ain't dirty,
    Then you'll just make everyone doze!
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