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You might be a physics major if

  1. Jul 30, 2003 #1

    if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

    if you enjoy pain.

    if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

    if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

    if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

    if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

    if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

    if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

    if you always do homework on Friday nights.

    if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

    if you think in "math."

    if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

    if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
    its wave function.

    if you have a pet named after a scientist.

    if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

    if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the

    if you can translate English into Binary.

    if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building
    which says "Exit."

    if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because
    there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

    If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

    if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the
    eventual heat-death of the universe.

    if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

    if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
    accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to
    Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

    if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

    if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math

    if you understood more than five of these indicators.

    if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 31, 2003 #2
    if your car has a transmission problem and you immediately wonder what the lagrangian is
  4. Jul 31, 2003 #3

    Tom Mattson

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    I saw a similar list, but it was "You might be a grad student in physics if..."

    "...if you find yourself explaining to young children that you are in the 20th grade."
  5. Aug 2, 2003 #4
    if your answer to the question "Is light a wave or is light a particle?" is "Yes".
  6. Aug 2, 2003 #5


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    LOL! OK, I was actually able to finish the "humane society" one without seeing it written down ("Schrodinger's cat experiment", right?). Do you suppose that means I have a problem?

    I gotta get to a meeting!
  7. Aug 3, 2003 #6

    Y'all are stalking me, aren't you? Don't use my life, come up with your own jokes!
  8. Aug 3, 2003 #7

    Ivan Seeking

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    if you object to the simultaneous use of the odometer and speedometer in your car.

    if each morning you check the obituaries for the heat death of the universe

    if you report your taxable income in scientific notation.

    if you know the total price of all purchases before the clerk.

    if your tests come back with both a real and an imaginary grade.
  9. Aug 4, 2003 #8
  10. Aug 8, 2003 #9
    You spit whenever somebody says, "Euclidean Geometry."
  11. Aug 8, 2003 #10
    Based on personal experience:

    If you shift uncomfortably in your chair when you watch cartoon characters break the laws of Physics
  12. Aug 11, 2003 #11
    You might be a physics major if...

    ...Your favorite trivia question is, "What anomaly of nature allows higher life forms to exist on this planet."

    ...You know the answer to that trivia question.

    ...Your favorite joke is a pun involving the pythagoreon therom.

    ...You defend a speeding ticket in court by describing the limitations of the radar system that clocked your speed.

    ...You know that the inventor of the radar system that clocks your speed defended himself against a speeding ticket by describing its limitations (true story).

    ...You cringe when someone says that they can feel the cold coming in through the walls.

    ...You know what time Jupiter will reach its zenith, but you can't remember how old you will be at your next birthday.
  13. Aug 11, 2003 #12
    Physics majors could also use the Mean Value Theorem to attempt their way out of a ticket.
  14. Aug 15, 2003 #13

    Ivan Seeking

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    Since when does one measurement constitute proof?
    I would demand that they reproduce the results.

    Edit: A fine point of the law in some states: The indicated "speed" may not be the absolute speed limit. Unless the sign says "speed limit" or "maximum speed", as long as one's speed did not exceed a more basic speed limit, one might be able to argue that the conditions allowed for safe travel at the speed cited. Note that basic speed laws such as 25mph limits in residential zones are absolute; even if the sign only says "speed". I am told that this is a difficult point to argue, but that some judges will allow these interpretations to reduce the offense to a warning. After the cop told me this he chuckled a bit.
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2003
  15. Aug 15, 2003 #14
    "...demand they reproduce the results." That's good.
  16. Aug 16, 2003 #15
    Actually, I overheard someone talking about this but guess what? I didn't think of the conversation when I posted so I goofed off with my logic.
  17. Jul 16, 2010 #16


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    There is a "sphere" thread in Philosophy, which made me think of a "horse as a sphere", which naturally brought me to this thread...
  18. Jul 16, 2010 #17

    Ivan Seeking

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    Wow, talk about necroposting! :rofl:
  19. Jul 16, 2010 #18


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    When I was in grad school, some of my friends/colleagues had an aquarium with a newt named "Sir Isaac."
  20. Jul 16, 2010 #19

    Ivan Seeking

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    We've had Einstein, and Dr. Who.

    Do Time Lords count as scientists?
  21. Jul 16, 2010 #20


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    Aagh, I didn't realize this was such an old thread because Evo's post started a new page.

    She must have been thinking of the famous "spherical cow of uniform density:"

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