You might be a physics major if...

[Greg Bernhardt]

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

if you enjoy pain.

if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

if you always do homework on Friday nights.

if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

if you think in "math."

if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
its wave function.

if you have a pet named after a scientist.

if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the

if you can translate English into Binary.

if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building
which says "Exit."

if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because
there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the
eventual heat-death of the universe.

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to
Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
easier.

if you understood more than five of these indicators.

if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

 

[quartodeciman]

if your car has a transmission problem and you immediately wonder what the lagrangian is

 

[quantumdude]

I saw a similar list, but it was "You might be a grad student in physics if..."


"...if you find yourself explaining to young children that you are in the 20th grade."

 

[quartodeciman]

if your answer to the question "Is light a wave or is light a particle?" is "Yes".

 

[LURCH]

LOL! OK, I was actually able to finish the "humane society" one without seeing it written down ("Schrodinger's cat experiment", right?). Do you suppose that means I have a problem?

I got to get to a meeting!

 

[Jonathan]

!

Y'all are stalking me, aren't you? Don't use my life, come up with your own jokes!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

if you object to the simultaneous use of the odometer and speedometer in your car.

if each morning you check the obituaries for the heat death of the universe

if you report your taxable income in scientific notation.

if you know the total price of all purchases before the clerk.

if your tests come back with both a real and an imaginary grade.

 

[Kalimaa23]

Originally posted by Greg Bernhardt
YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

Actually, my existence is locally isomorphic with someone who has a life, under certain cicrumstances

if you enjoy pain.

Indeed. And I consider anyone who doesn't have at least 9h of lectures a day weak


if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

Guilty as charged

if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

Nah, I usually just punch them in the face

if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

Heresy, graphical calculators are for engineers and similar wussies !

if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

My mirror shattered long ago

if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

Does working in the yard on the laptop count?

if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

Sorry man, the 80's are over

if you always do homework on Friday nights.

Yes, but between 3 and 5 am, when I have some time

if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

Only if the water is continuous and differentiatable

if you think in "math."

Instead of seeing light and matter, I see Matrix like field equations...

if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
its wave function.

I knew I shouldn't have looked my girlfriend in the eyes...

if you have a pet named after a scientist.

And if it's Schrödinger, you want to keep it away from acid

if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building
which says "Exit."

What? Ex..it?? Make sense man!

If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

Does eight cups a day count?

if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

D'uh!

if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
easier.

That one actually caused the ponies in my backyard to roll...laughing

 

[photon]

You spit whenever somebody says, "Euclidean Geometry."

 

[Sting]

Based on personal experience:

If you shift uncomfortably in your chair when you watch cartoon characters break the laws of Physics

 

[Artman]

You might be a physics major if...

...Your favorite trivia question is, "What anomaly of nature allows higher life forms to exist on this planet."

...You know the answer to that trivia question.

...Your favorite joke is a pun involving the pythagoreon therom.

...You defend a speeding ticket in court by describing the limitations of the radar system that clocked your speed.

...You know that the inventor of the radar system that clocks your speed defended himself against a speeding ticket by describing its limitations (true story).

...You cringe when someone says that they can feel the cold coming in through the walls.

...You know what time Jupiter will reach its zenith, but you can't remember how old you will be at your next birthday.

 

[Sting]

...You defend a speeding ticket in court by describing the limitations of the radar system that clocked your speed.

Physics majors could also use the Mean Value Theorem to attempt their way out of a ticket.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Since when does one measurement constitute proof?
I would demand that they reproduce the results.

Edit: A fine point of the law in some states: The indicated "speed" may not be the absolute speed limit. Unless the sign says "speed limit" or "maximum speed", as long as one's speed did not exceed a more basic speed limit, one might be able to argue that the conditions allowed for safe travel at the speed cited. Note that basic speed laws such as 25mph limits in residential zones are absolute; even if the sign only says "speed". I am told that this is a difficult point to argue, but that some judges will allow these interpretations to reduce the offense to a warning. After the cop told me this he chuckled a bit.

 

[Artman]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Since when does one measurement constitute proof?
I would demand that they reproduce the results.

"...demand they reproduce the results." That's good.

 

[Sting]

How is this? I thought that the MVT could possibly get you into a ticket if you did not already have one. Although I do not know the precise details of how the radar system works.

Actually, I overheard someone talking about this but guess what? I didn't think of the conversation when I posted so I goofed off with my logic.

 

[Evo]

There is a "sphere" thread in Philosophy, which made me think of a "horse as a sphere", which naturally brought me to this thread...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Wow, talk about necroposting! :rofl:

 

[jtbell]

if you have a pet named after a scientist.

When I was in grad school, some of my friends/colleagues had an aquarium with a newt named "Sir Isaac."

 

[Ivan Seeking]

When I was in grad school, some of my friends/colleagues had an aquarium with a newt named "Sir Isaac."

We've had Einstein, and Dr. Who.

Do Time Lords count as scientists?

 

[jtbell]

Aagh, I didn't realize this was such an old thread because Evo's post started a new page.

She must have been thinking of the famous "spherical cow of uniform density:"

 

[Evo]

Aagh, I didn't realize this was such an old thread because Evo's post started a new page.

She must have been thinking of the famous "spherical cow of uniform density:"

Oooh, even better.

Greg started this thread in 2003.

 

[FrancisZ]

"You might be a physics major if..."

...you get all excited happening upon FREE usable (and sometimes unusable) oscilloscopes in the trash!

You find yourself saying: "OH YEAH! I'M GONNA ANALYZE SOME CURRENT! All's it needs is a new fuse! And apparently the little piece of plastic that holds the fuse in...and some roach spray...and, and, and..." *Drools* :tongue2: