You wouldn't treat your friend as you would yourself?

  • Thread starter Posy McPostface
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  • #1
Posy McPostface

Main Question or Discussion Point

I've heard this on some occasion. It sounds like something Jesus would have said. I don't know where it originated but it resounded for me.

Main question (if it applies to you):
Does that saying apply to you? And if so why would we treat a friend better than ourselves?

Secondary, although interesting sub-questions:
I don't think it would apply to a compassionate Buddhist or a narcissist or even a murderer or criminal. Why is that so? What went right (or wrong) in those people?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
DS2C
I treat everyone as Id like to be treated. Not sure if its a Jesus thing or not. I just feel like thats the best way a society functions. I dont know about your Buddhist question.
 
  • #3
Posy McPostface
I treat everyone as Id like to be treated. Not sure if its a Jesus thing or not. I just feel like thats the best way a society functions. I dont know about your Buddhist question.
Then you seem to be an awesome person or a rung up on the social ladder or ethical or moral conduct.

Here's an example to make the topic less ambiguous:

I got a bad grade on my final. So, now I feel angry at myself for some reason, the mental thoughts fly around saying I'm a failure or just suck at the subject or I label myself with some terms.

Now, a friend is in a similar situation, they did bad on a test, and you notice that they seem down and angry or frustrated. Your reaction won't (I hope) be that same as what you told yourself for getting a bad grade on your final. You would console them or tell them that next time they'll do better, or that it just wasn't a good day.

So, we tend to treat other people better than how we treat ourselves. The question is why?
 
  • #4
DS2C
Guess I would be as realistic as possible. When I tank a test, I think about what I could have done better. I dont really get pissed at myself, but more disappointed and determined. If a friend tanked a test, Id probably keep ky mouth shut unless they asked. Nobody likes unsolicited advice. But I would help them if I was able and they asked. Getting negative is contagious and I wouldnt let someone see me doing it.
 
  • #5
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I've heard this on some occasion. It sounds like something Jesus would have said. I don't know where it originated but it resounded for me.
I think you are thinking of the Golden Rule (which, if I remember correctly, is not unique to Christianity). A quite good rule, I'd say.
 
  • #6
Posy McPostface
I think you are thinking of the Golden Rule (which, if I remember correctly, is not unique to Christianity). A quite good rule, I'd say.
Yes; but, don't you have to have some sense of self-love or compassion towards your own self for the Golden Rule to be applied effectively?
 
  • #7
Choppy
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It sounds to me like your question is really: "Why do we tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on other people?"

The answer, if you really want one, is that there's an immediate social consequence to being hard on your friends. If someone else does badly on a test, and you put them down about it, there's a good chance they'll stop hanging around with you. But you're stuck with yourself no matter what you do.

That said, I think there's value in asking a question like this. Really, you should try not to put yourself down any more than you would anyone else. The tangible social consequences of putting down someone who can leave become intangible and internalized consequences with yourself.
 
  • #8
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No, I don't usually talk to myself.
 
  • #9
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Yes; but, don't you have to have some sense of self-love or compassion towards your own self for the Golden Rule to be applied effectively?
I think so. I think people who don't have love/compassion for themselves have difficulty having love/compassion for others.
 
  • #10
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I treat everyone as Id like to be treated. Not sure if its a Jesus thing or not.
The Golden Rule is a "Jesus thing."
"Do to others what you want them to do to you." - Matthew 7:12
However, Jesus is restating something in the Torah, "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your kinsfolk. Love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD" - Leviticus 19:18

The basic concept behind the Golden Rule is not unique to Christianity or Judaism. The concept of reciprocity goes back to the Egyptians, as well as in Sanskrit and Tamil writings, and in Greek and Roman writings. -- See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule
 
  • #11
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Does that saying apply to you? And if so why would we treat a friend better than ourselves?
If you're referring to the Golden Rule, it doesn't tell you to treat others better than yourself -- just to treat them as you would have them treat you.

I don't think it would apply to a compassionate Buddhist or a narcissist or even a murderer or criminal. Why is that so? What went right (or wrong) in those people?
???
I don't know what you're asking here.
 
  • #12
Posy McPostface
If you're referring to the Golden Rule, it doesn't tell you to treat others better than yourself -- just to treat them as you would have them treat you.
But, the point here is that we often do treat other people better than we do to ourselves. I'm wondering why is this so, does it have to do with evolutionary biology or some game theory? What's the underlying reason for this social behavior?

Is there greater worth being placed on orderly conduct in a society, or anthropologically a nomadic group of homo sapiens, that generates these responses from people to treat another, society, or group as of more importance than ourselves?

???
I don't know what you're asking here.
Yeah, you can disregard that.
 
  • #13
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But, the point here is that we often do treat other people better than we do to ourselves.
But some humans treat other people much worse than they do themselves.
Posy McPostface said:
I'm wondering why is this so, does it have to do with evolutionary biology or some game theory?
IMO, neither. The source of this behavior is most likely religious teachings that are present in many faiths. I don't believe you need to dig much deeper than that.
 
  • #14
Posy McPostface
But some humans treat other people much worse than they do themselves.
Typically, such people have issues with orderly conduct in society and end up in jail or such.

IMO, neither. The source of this behavior is most likely religious teachings that are present in many faiths. I don't believe you need to dig much deeper than that.
Well, I'm not entirely sure. It seems like a case of chicken or egg. Maybe such behavior strengthens social cohesion or such as it seems to have been stated not in a few religions; but, quite a few?
 
  • #15
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But some humans treat other people much worse than they do themselves.
Typically, such people have issues with orderly conduct in society and end up in jail or such.
That has hardly been the case throughout history, when people in power have been unbelievably cruel to the people under them. The Twentieth Century had numerous examples of this, as did just about any period before that.
IMO, neither. The source of this behavior is most likely religious teachings that are present in many faiths.
Well, I'm not entirely sure. It seems like a case of chicken or egg. Maybe such behavior strengthens social cohesion or such as it seems to have been stated not in a few religions; but, quite a few?
It doesn't seem like chicken and egg to me -- I'm much more convinced that religious faith fostered fair treatment to others, than the other way around.
 
  • #16
Bandersnatch
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No, I don't usually talk to myself.
You're missing on an interesting conversation partner and a good audience.
 
  • #17
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You're missing on an interesting conversation partner and a good audience.
Usually, being the key term o0)
 
  • #18
Posy McPostface
That has hardly been the case throughout history, when people in power have been unbelievably cruel to the people under them. The Twentieth Century had numerous examples of this, as did just about any period before that.
I believe you are right. Yes.
It doesn't seem like chicken and egg to me -- I'm much more convinced that religious faith fostered fair treatment to others, than the other way around.
That's interesting. Case closed?
 

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