# You've all sinned.

#### zoobyshoe

matthyaouw said:
I keep finding similar things happen- I'll toy with the idea of starting a thread on a message board, and next time I go on, its already there.
This is the first time it's happened to me. The weird thing is the fact I had it all typed out, and only needed a sentence or two more to be ready to hit the submit button, before I decided to chuck it. I've half a mind to suspect you psychically picked up this idea, but that's probably just a mild case of Haitian coconut fever.

#### El Hombre Invisible

Be careful. That allegedly leads to Jamaican Pure Weed Spliff Syndrome, where you find yourself tossing overboard a perfectly good bifter you smuggled in because your permanently paranoid partner freaked when you left it lying around in your stateroom for the attendants to spot and came back to find a letter stuck to your door. That the letter just asks you to leave your rented tux outside your door by 10 am does not, it seems, alleviate the symptoms. That's a lesson I learned the hard way - twice! Never take the advice of a red-faced, sweating man with darting eyes lest you find yourself relieved of some desirable autochthonous vegetation.

#### Minorail

where is momique ?

#### zoobyshoe

Minorail said:
where is momique ?
Monique is a person of outstanding character who has nothing to confess.

#### Danger

Gold Member
zoobyshoe said:
Monique is a person of outstanding character who has nothing to confess.
Rats! There goes that idea... :grumpy:

#### BobG

Homework Helper
The scenario:
While in the military, I made a DITY (do it yourself move). Thanks to good planning, and a little bit of luck in getting an incredible deal on a rental truck from one of the big three reputable rental agencies, I was set to make about $2,000 on the move. The sin: Rather than gloat in my good fortune, I decided to drive back to my old base and clean the house myself, thereby saving about another$200 in cleaning costs.

The result:
Loading a truck, driving 600 miles, unloading a truck, and driving another 600 miles the opposite direction reduces your ability to reason rationally. Severely fatigued males shouldn't be allowed to play with cleaning materials.

But, I did have a miracle cleaner, recommended by someone, that would clean the grout in tile effortlessly and clean that lime residue that's hard to remove from the sliding shower doors. Coat the bottom of the tub in Comet (with chlorine bleach), coat the shower tile with my miracle cleaner, close the bathroom door and take a break. Wow, I wonder what could be in this miracle cleaner to make it work so well? Hmmm, it's an acid based cleaner and the warning says .... DON'T MIX WITH CHLORINE BLEACH??!!! :surprised

Auuggh! The cleaner was already dripping down into the Comet in the tub. I quickly turned on the fan and debated whether I should wait it out for a day or two or try to prevent a major chemical disaster. I opted to limit the damage as best I could by holding my breath as I quickly rinsed the Comet down the drain while wiping off as much of the acid cleaner from the tile as I could. Fortunately, Comet doesn't have that much chlorine bleach in it, so I survived.

I did finally get both the tub and the tile clean, but the miracle cleaner wasn't as big a miracle as I'd been led to believe. I wound up scrubbing the grout and there was still a little bit of a lime residue on the shower doors that just wouldn't come out (in fact, none of the miracle chemicals I tried worked on anything - I wound up having to resort to old fashioned elbow grease). Worse yet, my timing was bad. Everytime I refreshed my bucket of water for cleaning walls, cabinet doors, windows, and/or mopping, I wound up dumping the old dirty water down the tub drain (I just don't even know why). Eventually the tub quit draining and the old dirty water just sat there in the bottom of the tub that I'd risked my life to clean.

Well, I'd had enough of chemicals. I figured a plunger would be safer. The problem was that if you plunge the drain, air just rushes down the overflow tube and it doesn't plunge the plugged up part of the pipe at all. There was still a non-toxic solution. I'd just plug the overflow hole and all would be well. A rag should do the trick. Thwuup! Dang! I sure didn't think a plunger would create enough suction to suck the entire rag down the overflow hole! Now what do I do!?

That took some thought, so I didn't deal with it until the rest of the house was clean. I finally resorted to bailing the water out of the tub, cleaning it, and absorbing any left over water with a sponge, including a little bit of standing water in the drain itself.

Final result: At final inspection, I had a sparkling clean tub, sparkling clean shower doors (I resorted to using Lemon Pledge - the stains don't reappear for at least a day), and not even a hint of water in the tub. Perfect job!

I feel sorry for whoever moved in after me the first time they used the tub, though.

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#### hypatia

When I was 8, my brothers were making rockets from matches, fuses and foil. They wouldn't let me play with them. A neighbor saw what they were doing{the matches} and made them stop.
After they left to go to the park, I snuck into their room, and took the rocket supplies. Ran behind a bush in the backyard, and tried to mimic what they had done.
It back fired, sending little hot match heads all over the place, and of course I took off.
The neighbor that called the fire department, told them he had seen my brothers playing with matches. We lost 2 garbage cans and a telephone pole that day.
There is no way of honestly knowing WHO really started the fire, it might not of been me...so I thought it best to just keep my mouth shut.

Jeez I hope they don't read this.

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#### Artman

In my senior year of high school I was in an expository writing course and we had to do research papers in the library.

(confession #1) Well this was my first time in the library in four years of HS.

(confession #2) I discovered the art section and spent the next four months reading all the art books I could.

(confession #3) During graduation practice I was called off the field and told that I would have to go to Summer school and take expository writing again because I hadn't completed any of my three term papers. :yuck:

What could have been bad turned out alright. I talked my teacher into allowing me to write three term papers in two weeks, and I passed.

#### BobG

Homework Helper
Artman said:
In my senior year of high school I was in an expository writing course and we had to do research papers in the library.

(confession #1) Well this was my first time in the library in four years of HS.

(confession #2) I discovered the art section and spent the next four months reading all the art books I could.

(confession #3) During graduation practice I was called off the field and told that I would have to go to Summer school and take expository writing again because I hadn't completed any of my three term papers. :yuck:

What could have been bad turned out alright. I talked my teacher into allowing me to write three term papers in two weeks, and I passed.
You just lacked talent. When I was assigned research papers in high school, I rarely required an expository to pull something out my a**. (Okay, so I graduated in the bottom 25% of my class, it was the bottom 25% of a very good school!)

#### Artman

BobG said:
You just lacked talent. When I was assigned research papers in high school, I rarely required an expository to pull something out my a**. (Okay, so I graduated in the bottom 25% of my class, it was the bottom 25% of a very good school!)
I was very distracted by the art books. How do you think I got as far as I did in school? I rarely did any homework. Just pulled something out at the last minute.

#### Gale

well, i'm a pretty bad girl, so there are lots of things i could probably confess to, but most of it is probably pretty scandalous.

one i'll share though...

sophomore year in history we had a final paper that had to be at least 5 pages long on anything in history we wanted. I wasn't very fond of the teacher or class... and plus i was a brat.

so, there was a running joke about my teacher's sexuality.... so i decided my paper would be on "Gay's in History." i started my paper with a very formal paragraph that sounded very serious and all that. Then i broke into this fictional story about a gay juggler and his suicidal lover, and ended up with the origin of the rainbow as a gay symbol... then i added some fake quotes from fake professors. tossed in a completely random, obscure, but entirely factual paragraph about pineapples, and then concluded with a list of famous gays and random facts about them. last page was a bibliography, with actual resources i had used, including the pineapple one.

I passed in the paper, and he gave me a zero... which brought my final grade down from a B to a D. so i complained and told him that based on his grading requirements, i deserved at least a 50 on the paper. his requirements were like, 10 pts grammar and spelling, (i had perfect grammar and spelling) 20 pts annotated bilbiography, (i had that as well,) 20 pts creativity and voice, (definetly had that) 30 pts historical content, (i did have the pineapple thing... but mostly nothing else,) 20 pts logical thesis and supporting research, (ya, none...)

he ended up giving me the 50, but being very very annoyed about it. it was a pretty funny paper, all the funnier because i got a somewhat decent grade.... sorta... anyways, i feel sorta bad now. sorta...

#### BobG

Homework Helper
Artman said:
I was very distracted by the art books. How do you think I got as far as I did in school? I rarely did any homework. Just pulled something out at the last minute.
Pampered too. When we did require assistance in pulling something out, we didn't get something as nice as expositories - we just had plain old enemas.

Uh, :uhh: wait a minute - either you're using the wrong word or else I finally understand why the Montreal Expos were such a failure.

#### JamesU

Gold Member
Gale17 said:
well, i'm a pretty bad girl, so there are lots of things i could probably confess to, but most of it is probably pretty scandalous.

one i'll share though...

sophomore year in history we had a final paper that had to be at least 5 pages long on anything in history we wanted. I wasn't very fond of the teacher or class... and plus i was a brat.

so, there was a running joke about my teacher's sexuality.... so i decided my paper would be on "Gay's in History." i started my paper with a very formal paragraph that sounded very serious and all that. Then i broke into this fictional story about a gay juggler and his suicidal lover, and ended up with the origin of the rainbow as a gay symbol... then i added some fake quotes from fake professors. tossed in a completely random, obscure, but entirely factual paragraph about pineapples, and then concluded with a list of famous gays and random facts about them. last page was a bibliography, with actual resources i had used, including the pineapple one.

I passed in the paper, and he gave me a zero... which brought my final grade down from a B to a D. so i complained and told him that based on his grading requirements, i deserved at least a 50 on the paper. his requirements were like, 10 pts grammar and spelling, (i had perfect grammar and spelling) 20 pts annotated bilbiography, (i had that as well,) 20 pts creativity and voice, (definetly had that) 30 pts historical content, (i did have the pineapple thing... but mostly nothing else,) 20 pts logical thesis and supporting research, (ya, none...)

he ended up giving me the 50, but being very very annoyed about it. it was a pretty funny paper, all the funnier because i got a somewhat decent grade.... sorta... anyways, i feel sorta bad now. sorta...
how did you include a paragraph aboutpineapples in a paper about gays?

#### matthyaouw

Gold Member
Gale17 said:
so i decided my paper would be on "Gay's in History."
(i had perfect grammar and spelling)
Are you sure?

#### Artman

BobG said:
either you're using the wrong word or else I finally understand why the Montreal Expos were such a failure.
My lack of spelling ability reminds me of another thing that I need to confess:

I changed the lettering of my grade school sign (20 feet in the air on the side of the building, I had to shimmy up a drain pipe ). Suffice it to say I can't write it here.

#### dextercioby

Homework Helper
yomamma said:
how did you include a paragraph aboutpineapples in a paper about gays?
You don't wanna know... : :yuck: Oh and that zucchini... :yuck: :yuck:

Daniel.

#### JamesU

Gold Member
okay, I've got it... [grossed out sarchasm]thenks dextercioby[/GOS]

#### 1123581321

I once broke a kids arm, and then knocked him out by putting him in the sleeper hold, but he was asking for it, he tried to take my money.

another time, i broke a chickens neck, just to see if they really run around for a while after you do it.

another time, i put itching powder on the nozzle of some kids axe, and he sprayed it all over himself, it was funny, but he had it comming.

another time, i got into the school's computer system, and made a porn slideshow in some kids file folder

Fibonacci

edit: i feel no remorse, i'm going to hell (the 9th level)

#### JamesU

Gold Member
how do you perform the sleeper hold? (I've always wondered)

#### Gale

yomamma said:
how did you include a paragraph aboutpineapples in a paper about gays?
dextercioby said:
You don't wanna know... : :yuck: Oh and that zucchini... :yuck: :yuck:

Daniel.

Actually... no. you're such a perv daniel. The paragraph about pineapples was completely random. the paper was like... made up gay stuff... more gay stuff... more gay stuff... Pineapples were often used as door decorations to welcome sailors home after long voyages.... then some more fictional gay stuff... it was funnier that way. my teacher circled the whole paragraph in my paper and then wrote lots of explanation points and question marks...

and ya... my spelling and grammar in the paper was excellent... i don't pretend that it is all the time.

#### TheStatutoryApe

Gale17 said:
Actually... no. you're such a perv daniel. The paragraph about pineapples was completely random. the paper was like... made up gay stuff... more gay stuff... more gay stuff... Pineapples were often used as door decorations to welcome sailors home after long voyages.... then some more fictional gay stuff... it was funnier that way. my teacher circled the whole paragraph in my paper and then wrote lots of explanation points and question marks...

and ya... my spelling and grammar in the paper was excellent... i don't pretend that it is all the time.
Lol.... that's absolutely beautiful. I did similar things but never with a serious report. I was made to read a terrible piece of crap in one of my english classes and then was asked to find a paragraph and write an essay describing the symbolism and so forth. It was such a worthless book that I couldn't find a paragraph worth writing about so I decided to write a mock Freudian analysis of one instead. That was fun and I think it totally went over the teachers head.

#### Gale

you think that was good?

for english class, same year, (hmm... maybe i was just an especially big brat that year...) we had to do some biography project. i'm not even sure what the point of the project was.... but meh. At any rate, i didn't know who i wanted to do, and everyone in class picked all the cool people.... (actually, i don't think i cared...) so i decided to make someone up. I went onto google images and typed in geek or nerd or something. found a picture of some random guy, printed it out, named hime Phillip... uh... something, i forget now. i said he was some rocket scientist or something, that he worked in a government think tank and umm.... to fill up space on the poster i made, i drew an exceptionally large pi symbol, and wrote that ole phil had calculated 100 didgits of pi, by hand, when he was 11. the poster was horrible, the facts were stupid and made up... when i presented the project, i just kept rambling about how cool math was... my teacher didn't understand a thing.... she gave me an A... even i was impressed with myself.

#### JamesU

Gold Member
that is cool. you got an A for making some random guy named philip and blabbed about math until your teacher was confused? awesome

#### Huckleberry

I regret a lot of things, but I wouldn't consider many of them sins, just my own ignorance. One thing I do regret that I would consider a sin is the time I hit my sister. I was about 13 and she was 11. She would invite her friends over and then she would tease me in front of them and they would laugh. That made me very angry. One day I decided I was going to read her journal and see if she wrote anything about me in there. So I found her journal and she saw me and tried to take it back. I held it over my head and she was hitting me and scratching me. She wasn't really hurting me though, but I hit her in the stomach and she crumpled on the floor and started crying. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and read her journal. She was at the door crying the whole time. There was nothing in there about me. I unlocked the door and gave it back to her. I don't remember apologizing at that time. I felt sick.

Last Thanksgiving I was at my aunts house. My sister was there. Somehow in conversation my sister said that I used to hit her all the time. I was angry again because that is not at all true. We used to have arguments and did the pushing thing, but I don't ever remember hitting her except that one time. One time too many. But she remembers differently. I didn't defend myself when she said that I hit her repeatedly as a child when she said it in front of my entire family. I figured that Thanksgiving wasn't a good time for an argument and it wasn't meant for everyone to listen to.

I have since apologised to her. I still feel like a creep for ever hitting a girl out of anger even if I was only 13. There was no excuse for it.

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#### icvotria

Huckleberry said:
I have since apologised to her. I still feel like a creep for ever hitting a girl out of anger even if I was only 13. There was no excuse for it.
You didn't hit a girl, you hit your sister, it's different. Me and my brother used to have fights all the time. It wouldn't've been fair if he didn't hit back and I usually deserved it

I remembered something bad I did last night when I was running a virus scan. I once sent an email to Paul Daniels, a creepy tv magician from England who used to have this show called Wizbit where he played the part of a big magic yellow cone who lived with a giant rabbit *shudder :uhh: * I made up this big sob story, with some really awful stuff, and said that the only thing that got me through it all was him and his box sets. ( it made me laugh at the time...) A couple of days later, he replied! Woo! Only in the email, he told me about all the tragic aspects of his life and was really solemn and caring. It made me feel awful.

Anyway, last night I found out he'd emailed me a virus! The moral: don't trick a trickster.

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