So, I was Stumbling (the proper verb) and came across a humor site that tore a few holes in the "Zombie Apocalypse" idea. The page was on Cracked.com but I'm unable to find it with a simple Google query here at work. Please understand that I am crediting Cracked.com, my wording and summary is original, but the content belongs to them. Anyway, here are a few reasons why a zombie apocalypse is completely impossible. 1) Natural predators - Let's face it, every depiction of zombies includes the mindless shambling rotting human. The only reason humans aren't constantly eaten by wolves or consumed by maggots is because we have the good sense to sleep inside shelter and swat away flies. Without these instincts (remember, zombies are dead) most zombies would be consumed in a few days. Just think of the all the feral cats going out for an easy meal. 2) Temperature - As warm blooded living things we can regulate our own temperature. But a quick frost or a really warm day would essentially destroy a zombie. The cold would destroy their soft tissue (no more mobility), and the heat would destroy their internal organs (no more eating). 3) Terrain - Canyons, cliffs, raging rivers, man-made bridges, steep inclines, small creeks, pot holes, speed bumps, strong wind gusts, puddles, tall grass... absolutely everything would be completely detrimental to a mobile animal with no strategy or common sense. Even if they had the sense to avoid a river, they don't have night vision and might drown in a puddle in the middle of the night. 4) Humans - Do people even realize why we have hunting licenses? It's to limit the number of animals people are allowed to kill. Without hunting licenses then every living thing in the forest would be dead by sundown; humans are awesome at killing things. Instead of being limited to three deer, what if hunters were limited to "any rotting, walking corpse that is biting people?" I think the problem would be well contained in a few hours. 5) Inefficient eating and reproduction mechanism - Think about this. For a zombie, reproduction is identical to eating: they have to bite their primary predator. How well would the human race have done if we had to grapple with a grizzly bear (with a rifle) every time we wanted to have sex or have a sandwich? Finally, I can sleep at night.