What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[MissSilvy]

Let's turn the tables for a second: what qualities do 'nerdy' boys like in girls?

I love 'nerdy' boys and I'm very lucky that my school is quite science and tech focused. However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals. With other guys, it's fairly straight forward but I know quite a few self-professed 'dorks' that I would go out to dinner with if only they'd ask.

There have been numerous threads on what girls like in guys, but now I'm asking the opposite question; what do smart guys like yourselves like in girls? If possible, I'd be interested in opinions on or from college-aged guys. Thanks!

('Sex' is not an answer. Nice try, PF but I'm looking for more subtle points

 

[Evo]

I always had to ask the nerdy guys out myself. I would just go up to them and ask "where are you taking me Friday night?" It always worked. You will find that nerdy guys will answer a direct question.

 

[MissSilvy]

I figured I'd have to do that, good idea :) I was just curious about which qualities the guys find attractive in girls.

Nice line by the way!

 

[Evo]

I figured I'd have to do that, good idea :) I was just curious about which qualities the guys find attractive in girls.

Nice line by the way!

I'm interested too, glad you started this thread!

 

[radou]

I would just go up to them and ask "where are you taking me Friday night?"

If this ever happens to me with a girl, I think I'll mary her. 3 X Horray for a women's initiative!

Well, joke aside, in general, it seems to me that the more intelligent a person is (no matter of which gender), the more the person seeks in another person. More specific, the importance of physical appearance will decrease (although it's disputable by itself - beauty is an absolutely subjective category, and I hate persons who avoid to admit that!), but I don't believe much.

If by "nerdy" you mean intelligent, that opens another debate, since there is something called emotial intelligence, and it definitely doesn't need to appear in pairs with (let's say) non-emotional intelligence (let's say you're a physics genious or so).

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Since I'm not a nerd, I really don't have any first hand advice for you. However, I asked my wife, just in case she had any experience with nerds. It turns out that she's had plenty over the past 20 years with one nerd in particular whose name she did not reveal to me. It turns out that nerds are looking for women that are clever, beautiful, accomplished, and generous. In short, they're looking for my wife. She's lucky she got me and not one of them. If you persist in looking for one of them, then as Evo suggests, give them no room for maneuver. Given a choice, they wilt.

 

[misgfool]

I always had to ask the nerdy guys out myself. I would just go up to them and ask "where are you taking me Friday night?" It always worked. You will find that nerdy guys will answer a direct question.

Let me guess, they took you to see their new cool hacks in c64?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

what do smart guys like yourselves like in girls? If possible, I'd be interested in opinions on or from college-aged guys. Thanks!

I'm waaaay past being college age, but back in my day, it was kidneys.

 

[radou]

It turns out that nerds are looking for women that are clever, beautiful, accomplished, and generous. In short, they're looking for my wife. She's lucky she got me and not one of them.

 

[Hurkyl]

I won't ask a girl out unless I'm really interested in her, and that happens quite rarely. It's hard to say what exactly I'm looking for, but the last girl I was really interested in was brilliant, witty, gorgeous, fun to be with, and had a charming accent.

On the other hand, I would be willing to date pretty much any girl that's pleasant to be around, were they to ask me out. (although I wouldn't expect it to last more than a few dates)

 

[Evo]

I won't ask a girl out unless I'm really interested in her, and that happens quite rarely. It's hard to say what exactly I'm looking for, but the last girl I was really interested in was brilliant, witty, gorgeous, fun to be with, and had a charming accent.

So nerdy guys have low expectations.

 

[Topher925]

I am a nerdy guy who is 23 and in college. I have 3 qualities that I look for in a girl.

1. Intelligents
2. Ambition
3. Atheist

Intelligents is a big one for me. I'm not talking about 35 on the SATs smart, but actual intelligence like to be able to comprehend things that most people cant. I also like a girl who has ambition in life, for example pursuing a PhD or wanting to become a research scientist or doctor or something of the sort. And last, she has to be an atheist or at least agnostic. This one really disqualifies most girls but I can't deal with the religious propaganda anymore. I honestly have never met a girl that met all three of these qualities, which is why I haven't had a gf in the past couple years. If I met a girl that did, chances are that I would marry her.

As for other not as important qualities, I like girls that are kind of shy and have a good sense of humor. Also, a girl that doesn't drink and isn't afraid to tell people what she honestly thinks is a big plus too.

On the other hand, I would be willing to date pretty much any girl that's pleasant to be around, were they to ask me out.

I'll go out with any girl at least once if she asks. Although that last one that asked me out was pretty far out there.

 

[physics girl phd]

My experience: Nerdy guys like girls who wear glasses. :!) Unfortunately they usually also wear glasses, which makes for clunky kissing (imagine the stereotype of braces linking together!).

 

[radou]

And last, she has to be an atheist or at least agnostic. This one really disqualifies most girls but I can't deal with the religious propaganda anymore. I honestly have never met a girl that met all three of these qualities, which is why I haven't had a gf in the past couple years.

Well, not all "religious" girls are necessarily religious fanatics too, right?

I don't believe that this would really disqualify a girl. If so, you probably won't have a gf in the next couple of years, either.

 

[misgfool]

I am a nerdy guy who is 23 and in college. I have 3 qualities that I look for in a girl.

1. Intelligents
2. Ambition
3. Atheist

How can an intelligent woman be a believer? What does the previous statement imply?

 

[radou]

How can an intelligent woman be a believer?

In a way, I agree, but let's just not overdo things.

 

[snits]

Let's turn the tables for a second: what qualities do 'nerdy' boys like in girls?

I love 'nerdy' boys and I'm very lucky that my school is quite science and tech focused. However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals. With other guys, it's fairly straight forward but I know quite a few self-professed 'dorks' that I would go out to dinner with if only they'd ask.

"...if only they'd ask." I think that is the main problem that you will run into with any guy, but probably a little more so with nerdy guys. Nobody likes rejection, so until they learn that it's not the end of the world if a girl says no they will always be hesitant to approach someone they like. It is probably a little more of an issue with nerdy guys because it is likely that growing up they were not as accepted socially as some others.

Life is too short, so if there is someone you'd like to go out with I'd just ask them out (that goes for everyone). In the end I'd rather take the rejection than regret never asking. If they don't want to go out with you it is their loss.

As for what nerdy boys like in a girl I'd say intelligence, sense of humor, and someone that likes them for who they are.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

How can an intelligent woman be a believer?

Or nice people atheists?

 

[Topher925]

How can an intelligent woman be a believer?

My opinion is mutual but I can't really afford getting any more infractions so I'm not going into it.

 

[Monique]

It's hard to say what exactly I'm looking for, but the last girl I was really interested in was brilliant, witty, gorgeous, fun to be with, and had a charming accent.

How do you know I've got a charming accent?

oh, I'm bad (runs away, really fast)

 

[Hurkyl]

How do you know I've got a charming accent?

oh, I'm bad (runs away, really fast)

You know, that just makes me want to chase...

 

[tim_lou]

It's amazing to see how fast this thread is gathering replies...

Well, firstly, I think most people will classify me as ultra physics nerds (even among my physics nerdy friends), since I study Saturday - Sunday and loves to talk about physics all day. So I'll be in a good position to answer this question.

To be honest, whoever likes me for who I am and are intelligent are good enough. It doesn't have to be ultra intelligent... being able to understand physics jokes would be an extra plus. Also, I don't like the propaganda religious type... for obvious reasons.

Edit: thinking about it a bit more (expanding my mind to include all kinds of people)... that person also needs to have an open mind, have an interest in general knowledge and the world around us. Being humanistic sums it up I think.

(man...when my friends find out this reply, they'll surely make fun of me. Sometimes I regret making my user-name too explicit.. )

 

[kingdomof]

How can an intelligent woman be a believer? What does the previous statement imply?

Myopic, much?


I really can't describe what I'd find in a girl, neither can I really describe myself as a nerd. However, if it mattered, someone who isn't myopic and can focus on a conversation and be somewhat empathetic to me. Oddly enough, this disqualifies every girl I've been interested in!

 

[turbo]

If a girl asked (nerdy me) in engineering school, "what do you want in a woman?" the literal answer would have gotten me a slap or a quick date...

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

If a girl asked (nerdy me) in engineering school, "what do you want in a woman?" the literal answer would have gotten me a slap or a quick date...

Funny, that answer occurred to me too, but she said no.

 

[Ghost803]

1. Intelligence
2. Humor (Sarcastic, Dark, Nerdy/Quirky) ( No slapstick or stereotype jokes)
3. Self Assured
4. Appearance ( not obese, doesn't have a manly jaw (lots of American Women have manly jaw lines for some reason), and no lemon blond hair)
5. No pointless bitching. I've noticed a lot of dumb people like to do that. Whether its at work, school, or social settings. People just like to *****. About professors, classes, work shifts, term papers, relatives. They complain about the same things over and over and over, p***es me off.

The rest of the criteria are too broad and vague for me to be able to consciously write them down. And would probably differ from nerd to nerd very much. It is just a hunch of mine, but I would guess that nerds would have the same taste discriminations or list of things that would disqualify a girl but what actually attracts each individual one would be too variable.

 

[Kurdt]

I always had to ask the nerdy guys out myself. I would just go up to them and ask "where are you taking me Friday night?" It always worked. You will find that nerdy guys will answer a direct question.

Are you sure. I thought most nerdy guys would implode when that line was delivered.

 

[Kurdt]

I think approaching the guy initially is the best answer. It doesn't really matter what that guy is looking for (we're all different... honest ) that's what dating is about, but I suppose the type of man you're after will be shy and unable to ask you out himself.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

5. No pointless bitching. I've noticed a lot of dumb people like to do that. Whether its at work, school, or social settings. People just like to *****. About professors, classes, work shifts, term papers, relatives. They complain about the same things over and over and over, p***es me off.

Me too. I can't stand people like that.

 

[Kurdt]

If you persist in looking for one of them, then as Evo suggests, give them no room for maneuver. Given a choice, they wilt.

That could prove troublesome later on in a relationship.