View Full Version : Caskets? See aisle 7 at Costco
Ivan Seeking
Aug19-04, 05:17 PM
(AP) The American consumer is in for another shock.
In a shift of marketing strategy and cultural style as big as when doctors, lawyers and drug companies began advertising to drum up business, Costco Wholesale Corp. has begun selling coffins directly to its customers.[continued]
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/08/17/national/main636426.shtml
The_Professional
Aug19-04, 09:16 PM
That's creepy
Shopping list - dozen eggs, quart of milk, casket, loaf of bread, :eek:
Ivan Seeking
Aug19-04, 10:52 PM
butter, embalming kit, shovel...
On a related note, I just watched Soylent Green again. This would be bad news for the Costco Casket venture.
http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue55/classic.html
Soylent Green
Hmm....so what exactly is Olestra, anyway?
As an aside, how about some advertising slogan suggestions for Costco Caskets?
"When the heart blows a gasket, try a Costco Casket"
or
"Your Costco Casket makes you look your best; or your money back"
[Returns not accepted after 90 days]
Moonbear
Aug19-04, 10:53 PM
Honey, granny kicked the bucket. Would you please pick up a coffin on your way home?
Can you imagine, people driving home from their shopping with a casket tied to the roof of the car?
Though, might make someone think twice about their marital squabbles if their spouse arrives home from the grocery shopping with a coffin.
Honey, granny kicked the bucket. Would you please pick up a coffin on your way home?
Can you imagine, people driving home from their shopping with a casket tied to the roof of the car?
Though, might make someone think twice about their marital squabbles if their spouse arrives home from the grocery shopping with a coffin. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
As an aside, how about some advertising slogan suggestions for Costco Caskets?
"When the heart blows a gasket, try a Costco Casket"Now that's GOOD!
Have you read about the recent trend in home funerals?
Ivan Seeking
Aug20-04, 12:26 AM
Have you read about the recent trend in home funerals?
major edit: Whoah I just re-read this. Home funerals!!! :surprise: I saw it as funeral homes. Yikes.
Ivan Seeking
Aug20-04, 12:37 AM
Before you bail, check our sale
zoobyshoe
Aug20-04, 01:25 AM
Does anyone watch Six Feet Under, on HBO?
BoulderHead
Aug20-04, 10:54 AM
As an aside, how about some advertising slogan suggestions for Costco Caskets?
“Rest your weary bones in one of our eternal homes.”
“Compliment your ‘offin’ with a Costco coffin.”
“Return to dust in a box that will not rust.”
“You’ll be dying to experience the comfort and elegance of our super-deluxe model.”
“We never ‘stiff’ our customers.”
“All Costo coffins are built to ‘rigor’ous standards.”
Excellent so far guys and gals. :smile:
If you must go, go costco.
Try our flame resistant model.
Ashes to ashes dust to dust,
Buy your coffin from Costco,
The name you can trust.
Ivan Seeking
Aug20-04, 03:08 PM
I love it
When the almighty's a callin, our prices are fallin
BoulderHead
Aug20-04, 08:01 PM
“By any Costco casket at the regular low price and get a second one of equal or lesser value for just $14.99”
“Makes the perfect gift for that man or woman who has everything.”
Moonbear
Aug20-04, 08:17 PM
Why do I have this vision of Frat boys running down to Costco for a casket for their next party? That would hold a lot of ice and beer!
Math Is Hard
Aug20-04, 09:47 PM
Why do I have this vision of Frat boys running down to Costco for a casket for their next party? That would hold a lot of ice and beer!
:rofl:
I hope Costco stocked up on the deluxe waterproof models for all those Frat Row Halloween bashes coming up.
I seem to remember an expose on 60 minutes (or some similar program) not that long ago about how the coffin business had become a big racket because some states had "health laws" mandating that only funeral homes could sell caskets. This resulted in exorbitant prices that families were struggling to pay because the funeral homes could charge whatever they wanted. Good for Costco, if they have found a way around this.
dduardo
Aug20-04, 10:25 PM
"When 10 family members decide to drop dead at the same time shop for caskets in bulk at Costco."
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Mattius_
Aug21-04, 02:56 AM
On a serious note, An owner of a funeral home commented on this new casket and said he may have to raise prices now if these caskets sell well.
This sickens me when my friend died and his parents had money those funeral home nazis tried to suck them dry. To me, people who own funeral homes or cemetaries are the scum of the earth. They charge horrendous rates for their services and then ***** when someone gives a fair price on a casket.
When I die, throw me into the river, thanks.
On a lighter note, here are a couple more slogans:
"You'll love our new casket smell"
"Rejoice Hobos, now a reasonable solution to your financial whoes."
"Try our working man's model, It doubles as a toolbox for your truck."
Ivan Seeking
Aug21-04, 04:44 PM
I wonder if they sell casket gaskets.
Did you know that caskets were once equipped with a bell and string, or some other assembly so that in the event that you are buried but not dead, you can get someones attention? As I recall the story, at sometime during the 1800's there was a flood that floated some large number of caskets from the local cemetary, right into town. It was discovered that one or a few caskets had scratches on the inside due to the "deceased" trying to get out after being buried. It was not so easy to tell the difference between death, and a coma. As you can imagine, this created quite a stir. In western culturs, the traditional waiting period before burial also stems from this problem - hence the Catholic "Wake".
The_Professional
Aug21-04, 11:25 PM
As an aside, how about some advertising slogan suggestions for Costco Caskets?
"When the heart blows a gasket, try a Costco Casket"
or
"Your Costco Casket makes you look your best; or your money back"
[Returns not accepted after 90 days]
"100% Satisfaction Guaranteed Eternal Rest or Your money back"
Moonbear
Aug21-04, 11:46 PM
"Lifetime Guarantee" :rofl:
"Lifetime Guarantee" :rofl:Dang Moonbear, you made me spit all over my laptop. :tongue:
Ivan Seeking
Aug23-04, 03:53 PM
Sorry folks...
To the tune of Burger King’s “Have it your way”
Hold the nails
Felt not cotton
You’ll be smiling
Till you’re rotten
Custom Coffins
Costco’s got ‘em
Have it your way.
Sorry folks...
To the tune of Burger King’s “Have it your way”
Hold the nails
Felt not cotton
You’ll be smiling
Till you’re rotten
Custom Coffins
Costco’s got ‘em
Have it your way.
Love it. :biggrin:
To the tune of "Green Acres":
Grim Reaper is a commin' soon.
Costco Caskets when you meet your doom.
We have them in both tall and wide,
Short or stocky,
Lots of room inside.
duh dut da duh dut
The frills,
duh dut da duh dut
The chills,
Goodbye to your life.
A good buy for your wife!
Shady Acres you are there!
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