Need a little dark humor...

[rhody]

Seinfeld: fast forward to: 19:55 and enjoy (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xk6mr_kramer-gets-a-kidney-stone)

With the theme "Dark Humor" the spirit of this thread, the challenge is to get all of us PF'rs to laugh even harder. Post up...

I you ever have had kidney stones, you will "get it" for sure...

Rhody...:devil: :biggrin:

[rewebster]

"...but you are no comedian!"

[Borg]

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2385/2405578457_148b126620.jpg

[waht]

You walk into a store and are cordially greeted by the store's employee at the front door.

Employee: "Can I help you find something?" (smiles)

You: "Hmm yes, where is the exit?"



The building V at my school used to be a plant department but they grew out of it.

[rootX]

What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

An electrical discharge made toast of municipal guard Arthur de Souza Coelho, 47, on Sunday evening. According to police reports, he had installed a tiny electric fence around his car to protect against the frequent robberies that occur in his neighborhood in Belem, Para. Then (direct translation from Portuguese) "he forgot that he had left the fence on and he ended dying with the electric shock."

After all, we are all dying, but some end sooner than others.
http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-03.html

[Shalashaska]

Here's some D&D inspired Dark Humor.

Not photoshopped... sadly.

http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/1415/antitank.jpg

It IS funny!

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/7495/chaoticeviljoker.jpg

The Glow!

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/3769/cherenkovradiation01.jpg

Game over man!

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/8128/despair.jpg

Do it... you know you want to!

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/8374/curiosityredbutton.jpg

Unrelated, Dark Penny Arcade:

http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/9053/easterbunnydeadzx1.jpg

And finally, what we've all wanted to do at some point:

http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/6128/abilitytopunchtcpiplu0.gif

[Shalashaska]

Oh, and one for the road: :biggrin:

This one is both offensive, tasteless, and crass.

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/1562/hugemanatee2tbml9.jpg

Oh, and two quotes as well

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
-H.H. Munroe

"Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them."
-Edward W. Howe

(I tend to imagine Dick Cheney during such musings)

[GeorginaS]

Oh, the huge manatee! :rofl:

[Shalashaska]

Oh, the huge manatee! :rofl:

I know... I love that one, but I feel a bit guilty every time I post it. :redface:

[Shalashaska]

On that note... some more!

http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/5237/atmhell.jpg

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/4859/deadeyedick.jpg

[petm1]

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... you finish off as an orgasm.

- George Carlin

[rhody]

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... you finish off as an orgasm.

- George Carlin

petm1,

Carlin was one of my favorites, may he rest in peace and was an original for sure. I am sure his comedy will live on long after I am gone.

Rhody... :wink:

[rhody]

This just happened and is very funny at work. A young guy I work with changed the screen orientation on a veteran's PC, and in subtle retaliation, the veteran put an anchovi in the speaker part of his office phone, needless to say, it gradually ripened.

Now the joke is up, and the whole office is in on it, reminds me of the movie, grumpy old men with the late Walter Matheau and Jack Lemmon, when Matheau put a dead herring in the back of Lemmon's old vehicle, what a riot. Life imitates art once again.

Rhody...:redface:

BTW, the phone still stinks... ewww...

[rolerbe]

Friendship:

“It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.”
- Randy K. Milholland

[badgermanb]

Don't know if you've all seen them or not, but some webcomics I find particularly entertaining are found at:

http://xkcd.com
http://www.explosm.net/comics

There are some fairly nerdy and/or somewhat... vulgar, for lack of a better word, comics :devil:
Some are just positively genius. Great way to kill time at work too. Just start @ number one and move on through! :biggrin:

Little sample:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nerd_sniping.png

[Borg]

XKCD is well known at PF. A search for xkcd returns over 200 pages.

Nice comic BTW. :rofl:

[sylas]

A little weedy guy walks in to the local bikie bar.
"er.. excuse me? Do any of you gentlemen own a doberman?"

A large bikie with biceps like watermelons and death's head knuckledusters eases up from his chair.
"Yeah... and watch yourself with him. He's a killer."

The little guy stammers
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but I think my dog just killed your dog."

The bikie hesitates.
"What kind of dog do you have?"

"Oh, I have a chihuahua."

"What the hell! What are you talking about? Where is this?!?"

The little guy indicates the door
"It's just outside. I really am most dreadfully sorry."

The big bikie and about ten of his mates push past him and march out the door to see what's going on. Outside, on the sidewalk, is a large fierce looking doberman... lying stone cold dead on the ground.

Where the hell is your dog?", roars the bikie.

er, I think he's stuck in your dog's throat...

[Kajahtava]

Some of my own comic are pretty bleak I guess.

http://thisdomainisirrelevant.net/989.png

http://thisdomainisirrelevant.net/988.png

http://thisdomainisirrelevant.net/972.png

http://thisdomainisirrelevant.net/969.png

http://thisdomainisirrelevant.net/947.png

[jobyts]

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... you finish off as an orgasm.

- George Carlin

And the last words heard by more than half of humanity, "Ooops..!!!"