Rime of the Physics Student

[Andromeda321]

Hello everyone,
I wasn't quite sure which forum to fit this under so if it's the wrong one please forgive me. I recently wrote the following for my campus's humor magazine but I have a feeling like other people here will enjoy it as well. :smile:
For the record, P121 is the physics course on my campus that all the engineering and science majors need to take (ie virtually everyone) which covers basic kinematics. Enjoy!

RIME OF THE PHYSICS STUDENT

It's late at night, my mind is weary
Eyes are bloodshot, vision bleary
I know not what I'm really thinking
My sanity is surely winking
Yet I stay up for I am not done
With homework for P121.

My mind's back from a temporary lull
And contemplates a bouncing ball
Then reasons shouts out, with great diction,
"Idiot! You forgot friction!"
So I cross out numbers written there
And hang my head in great dispair.

I am at a lost an panicked too
Because I don't know what to do!
I factor out "t", I integrate
But the mistakes do not abate
I feel like a failure and a fool...
What's life like in the business school?

But I see throught that confusing mist
After all, I am a physicist!
I know the movements of block and book
Using laws from Newton and Hooke
I know the bowling ball's energy
Based on it's squared velocity.

I now see myself years down the line
Where physics glory is all mine
The secret of dark matter I know
Having found the neutralino
My proof is so clear and bold
I win myself some Swedish gold!

But as I start my acceptance speech
I hear a harshly ringing screech
A startling thought to my mind does creep-
Oh my God, I've fallen asleep!
It's eight in the morn, not late at one
And my damned homework's still not done!

I stare at my paper with a frown
And jot some garbled numbers down
And before I can think anymore
It's in my bag; I'm out the door
And as I'm walking I pray my best
That problem won't be on the test!

[tribdog]

aha, a challenge. I'll be back

[franznietzsche]

I'm just gonna point out its neutrino, not neutralino.

On that subject, damn PG&E to hell for trying to stop us from hosting the neutrino experiment and trying to send it to china. DAMN DIRTY APES!! (PG&E, not the Chinese)

Not bad poetry, though i'm sure tribdog will win the rhyme-off.

[Smurf]

If the rhyme off gets carried away I may have to submit one of my own uber-poems to kill both of you. o:)

[tribdog]

Rime of the Physics Fan

Day after day, sometimes at night
My eyes behold their favorite sight.
It's blue and white with bits of grey.
I pray it never goes away.
I've watched it grow and watched it change
and thanks to it, I'm not insane.

What is this thing I'm speaking of?
What could have captured all my love?
I'll tell you in a few more lines,
so stick it where no sunshine shines.
I'll tell before this rhyme is past.
So settle down. Or Kiss my ?

Some years ago, say five or four
I learned I'd love to learn some more.
I heard a thing that wasn't right:
"It can't be true! It's only light."
"It can't go through both of those slits."
"Don't lie to me, you piece of..."

But light it seems, does things I can't.
but neither can an elephant.
I jumped online to learn some more,
to find out what else was in store
I'll tell you now, so drum some drums.
The thing I love? Physics Forums.

[tribdog]

not a masterpiece, but under an hour. not bad

[Moonbear]

I'm just gonna point out its neutrino, not neutralino.

Um, I think he made up a word, for the thing he's going to discover to win the Nobel Prize in Physics. I thought it was intentional. :cool:

[Evo]

not a masterpiece, but under an hour. not badOoooh, a physics RIME-OFF!!!! :tongue2: Or rhyme-off, depending on how late it is, if you've been drinking...

Those were both really great!!!! :approve:

Do we have another challenger??

[Andromeda321]

I'm just gonna point out its neutrino, not neutralino.



Um, I think he made up a word, for the thing he's going to discover to win the Nobel Prize in Physics. I thought it was intentional.
Hey, why must the student be a "he?" :wink:
For the record, a neutralino is a name for a theoretical particle: a type of WIMP for those who want specifics. It's one of the canidates for the identity of cold dark matter and would be incredibly difficult to detect should they exist so it'd definetely win you the Nobel Prize should you discover them!

[Moonbear]

Hey, why must the student be a "he?" :wink:


:eek: My apologies! Greetings to another female PFer! :biggrin: :smile:

[tribdog]

Poetry doesn't pay the bills, but physics does

I love writing physics rhymes,
about such things as Mersenne primes.
Two to P then one subtracted
seems easy, but don't get distracted.
You could get cash. I mean a bunch.
If you like to number crunch.
To win the cash you must discover
a ten million digit new prime number.
So start crunching in a jiffy.
If you win, could I get fifty?

[Andromeda321]

It beats studying for exams too!

Twinkle twinkle little star
I don't wonder what you are!
Through spectroscopy it has been
Derived you're made of hydrogen
And you shine brighter then day
Too bad you are so far away!

Twinkle twinkle shining bright
Glittering throughout the night
This is caused by, I'm aware,
Your light bending through the air
So you shimmer when I see
Your photons coming to me!

[Moonbear]

Woo hoo! It's a duel! I don't know who to cheer for. tribdog is the favorite, but I feel compelled to support my sisters in science!

Go andromadog! :bugeye: :rofl:

[franznietzsche]

I'm gonna have to root for the won winning with science. Hoo Rah for the underdog!! Go Andromeda!!

[Smurf]

by Smurf

Adromeda, so sweet and nice
thought up a clever rhyme
tribdog, all sour and spice
responded with a chime

Evo shouted, that whore,
at the top of her voice
let there be war!
I must rejoice

I gripped my pen
and removed the cap
forget about zen
it's time to rap

I started to brainstorm
and scribbled left to right
Ideas came in a swarm
'till my pen ran lite

I filled the paper
With scribbles and scraps
I'd have a caper
and a bunch of traps

All my friends
old and new
and of course franz
I'd include him too

Where to start?
it's quite overdue
I'm a little short
and a little blue too

some call me mean
some call me evil
but I'm really quite clean
not even a weevil

I may be left-wing
I may be anti-democratic
but soon I'll be King
and I'll stuff you in my attic

It's getting dark
I'm off to my turf
this is such a lark
yours truely,
Smurf

[tribdog]

3 Limericks before bed

The people I meet here are rare.
Take, for example, moonbear.
An award she has won
and we're gonna have fun
cause I think she's a maiden most fair.

Smurf is another I see
and with him I never agree.
When a blind man walks by
he's the type of a guy
who yells, "Hey you, Look out for that tree."

Lastly I must mention Saint
If he made sense I think I would faint.
He's always so sad
and he's bad as a dad
He's one guy I'm glad that I ain't.

[tribdog]

Andromeda three two and one
You know that we're just having fun.
sometimes, late at night,
we get into these fights
and we don't stop before we see sun.

[Smurf]

Tonight I got quite a kick
Now that I've been assured I'm slick
I worked real hard
I get along with Tribdog
because he put me in his limerick

[tribdog]

I'm not making rhymes like I should
I'd do better if only I could
I should go to bed,
right after I'm fed
so good night, now give me some fhould. (lol, goodnight)

[franznietzsche]

Tonight I got quite a kick
Now that I've been assured I'm slick
I worked real hard
I get along with Tribdog
because he put me in his limerick

Doesn't read right...

Trobdog wins...

Come one Andromeda, where are you? DOn't tell me i'm backing the wrong galaxy!!!!

[Smurf]

Tribdog is off to the pen
What? but it's only just ten
I'm not batting an eye
Maybe he's a bit shy
A Goodnight Tribdog, Amen.

[tribdog]

franznietzsche is pissing me off
why, with me, must you scoff?
can't you see my name?
it is always the same.
it's not trobdog, you silly jack-off.

[Evo]

Ahem... and just who are you calling a whore? :devil:

I like "dark" chocolate. Finger hovering over the "delete Smurf for all eternity" button. Oh, and my sisters like dark chocolate too. Fauchon gift boxes would be nice.

[Moonbear]

Looks like Andromeda realized the level of adversary she has here and decided to head for the hills!

Tribdog, flattery will get you everywhere.

(If you say all of the above in a sing-song-y voice and put pauses in all the wrong places, I'll call it free verse poetry). :rofl:

[franznietzsche]

franznietzsche is pissing me off
why, with me, must you scoff?
can't you see my name?
it is always the same.
it's not trobdog, you silly jack-off.


Its your own fault for picking a letter so close to 'o' on my keyboard. So i blame you. o:)

[Smurf]

franznietzsche is the name
he's obviously quite lame
he spells tribdog wrong
and clearly doesn't belong
he doesn't have a single verse and thinks he can proclaim.

[tribdog]

Evo is out on the prowl
She suddenly lets out a howl
Smurf you were bad
chocolate must be had
I'll delete you for being so foul.

[Smurf]

I've made a bad mistake
now I'm beginning to shake
I stepped over the line
Evo, would you care to dine?
I appologise, have some chocolate cake :rolleyes:

[tribdog]

Moonbear you don't need to rhyme
You being here suits me just fine
someday we will meet
and I'll start at your feet
and kiss upwards towards a good time.

[Moonbear]

Awww...some women can only dream of a man who will write poems for them. :blushing:

[tribdog]

I've been seen in some people's dreams
but that doesn't meen what it seems.
It doesn't seem fair
that I am a nightmare
and dreaming of me is a scream.

[Moonbear]

I've been seen in some people's dreams
but that doesn't meen what it seems.
It doesn't seem fair
that I am a nightmare
and dreaming of me is a scream.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Smurf]

Tribdog wrote a pretty limerick
Moonbear, who was quite the chick
she let out a small tweet
for he was so very sweet
She didn't realise he was the devil's walking stick

[tribdog]

Now I really must sleep
so please, not even a peep.
if I don't get rest
I'll be up to my chest
in a pile of s*it that's so deep.

[Moonbear]

Tribdog wrote a pretty limerick
Moonbear, who was quite the chick
she let out a small tweet
for he was so very sweet
She didn't realise he was the devil's walking stick

Oh, I know, I know. :rofl:

[Moonbear]

Goodnight all!

[tribdog]

I'm walking around in my room and can't stop thinking in limerick meter. I am writing this post simply to get out of that rhythm. You can see that the first words of this post were limerick style even. I'm really leaving, so good night everyone.

[Andromeda321]

While drafting a new reply
A cute guy caught Rommie's eye
And as there she sat
He came in to chat
And so a few hours went by!

Really though I got a little distracted by a few friends stopping by (the limerick is based on one of them). Sorry I abandoned you all I wasn't quite planing on it or anything...

[Smurf]

Ten thirty to the hour
tribdog needs to shower
he's been up all day
spent the night astray
now he's off to smoke a flower

[Evo]

Smurf knows that he erred in his ways,
He’ll be sending me chocolate for days,
If to a mentor you’re rude,
You’ll be paying in food,
And realize that rhyme never pays.

[Gokul43201]

Woohoo...what's going on out here ?
I might be gate-crashing, I fear
But I think it's a shame
You're all playing this game
To impress a wreath-swinging reindeer.

[Smurf]

Forgiven is Smurf
Evo's done her worst
took her 20 minutes
she's got quite the boots
Next time I won't go head first

[Smurf]

Another has joined the fray
I'll have to lead him astray
the girls are sure to drool
cause he's really very cool
good thing i brought a bouquet

[Gokul43201]

It's two in the morning out here
And I'm sitting in my lab with a beer.
My magnet had been tested
So, against it, I rested.
Now my credit card's quite useless, I fear.

[Smurf]

It's just toned to eleven
my girlfriend's still obsessen'
she can't let it go
I just want a blow
but she's quite irate about heaven

[Gokul43201]

Smurf, I think it's time you took a breather.
Your rhyme's getting terrible; 'cos neither
'Minutes' nor 'boots'
Has a sound the other suits
And underlining doesn't help it either.

[Evo]

There once was a member named gokul
His limericks were always so cool,
His grammar was fine,
His reasoning divine,
His picture online can make me drool.

[Gokul43201]

It's quite hard to write poems about Evo. :frown:
'Cos the only word she rhymes with is "TiVo'. :eek:
Though I tried to abstain, :grumpy:
You can imagine my pain :cry:
At ending this poem with a 'heave ho'. :redface:

[Moonbear]

LOL, Evo...rhyme never pays! :rofl:

Okay, I had to come back because I left this thread with limericks in my head and came up with one I know I'll forget if I wait until morning, and since I'm usually terrible at limericks (this may be no exception), I'm not going to waste it.

Tribdog the surveyor
Is quite the purveyor
Of ladies found at PF.
He tirelessly pursues,
Awaiting the news,
Will today be the day she says yes?

[Evo]

It’s late and now Evo must sleep,
Her limericks are no longer deep,
She’s become quite trite,
To all a goodnight,
Upon her departure, don’t weep.

Moonbear, that was great!!! This stuff is addictive. :redface:

[Smurf]

I proclaim myself the winner of the rhyme off :tongue2:

[Moonbear]

This stuff is addictive. :redface:

Too addictive. I think I'm going to be dreaming in limericks tonight. Bad enough that last night I was dreaming about posting on PF! I don't remember there being any people in my dream, just the screen. I think I need to start a 12 step program!

[franznietzsche]

Too addictive. I think I'm going to be dreaming in limericks tonight. Bad enough that last night I was dreaming about posting on PF! I don't remember there being any people in my dream, just the screen. I think I need to start a 12 step program!


You're gonna need a lot more than 12 steps to get down from there Moonbear.

[Moonbear]

I proclaim myself the winner of the rhyme off :tongue2:

Indeed, your rhyme was quite off. :tongue2: :rofl:

I'm going to attempt some sleep again. If I lie awake thinking in limericks, I'll be back.

[Gokul43201]

Limericks are just all too easy.
In fact, I insist they're quite cheesy.
What a pleasure to nurse
A meterless verse...
But writing this $#!t makes me queasy.

[Gokul43201]

Now that I'm through with the puking,
I've come back to be crowned the new king
Of staying up all night,
Not caring what I write.
Hope I've written nothing worth rebuking.

[Gokul43201]

Now it's time that I gave up my throne,
And I say this with a sorrowful tone :
I'm calling it quits
'Cos it really is the pits
To be holding the fort all alone.

[Smurf]

I win. o:)

[franznietzsche]

Nope, i'm still here.

[Smurf]

There once was a man named Franz
He stuck around and sat on his Anzz
Not daring to sleep
for he was afraid of the sheep
he wouldn't admit smurf was greatest for he was afraid of the lambs

[franznietzsche]

Sorry, i still gotta go for Andromeda,she had science in the limerick for crying out loud!!!

[Gokul43201]

The specific heat curve of Helium ? Oh, well...
Let me explain it real quick, in a nutshell :
A pair of lines form a joint
At what's called the Lambda Point (http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/lhel.html#c4)
'Cos it looks like the Greek letter for 'L'.

[Gokul43201]

This student came to me yesterday, and declared
That I couldn't show that he was wrong, even if I dared.
Said I, "E can't be
Proportional to v;
It actually goes more like one-half m-v-squared."

[Math Is Hard]

You know how your mama used to say if you kept crossing your eyes they'd get stuck like that? I think the same thing might be true for speaking in limericks. Eventually you might not be able to return to normal speech or writing!

Although, if some of the scientists here did get stuck, it would be kind of entertaining to see their research paper abstracts written in rhyme.

[franznietzsche]

Come on Andromeda, don'tlet gokul WIN!!

[jcsd]

The tensor is a funny old chap,
Whether an array of components or a multilinear map;
He can be covariant, contravariant or mixed
But his properties under a change of basis will have you transfixed!
Heed Ricci well and you will be a comprehensor,
Of our most peculiar friend...... -the tensor.

[franznietzsche]

Nice one jcsd, i think thats gonna be the win.

[jcsd]

That one took me ages to think of!

[Andromeda321]

Hmmmm, that IS a good one jcsd... let's see if I'm up to scratch!

One day Mr. Newton
Took a file from his drawer
Showing he'd invented calculus
Twenty years before!

Everyone got interested
Took the integral of one
And worked backwards with derivatives
Until they were left with none.

They found out if they looked
They found calculus all around
An idea which, quite simply,
Truly is profound.

Now it is years later
And calculus still rings true
Which means we all owe Newton
A very big thank you!

[jcsd]

There was a young Swede named Abel
Who wrote a symmetric character table,
He said such a group
Is bound to commute
And now they bear his eponymous label.