View Full Version : Has this ever happened to you? Or am I unique or just stupid??
tribdog
Oct10-03, 10:01 PM
I went to the refridgerator to get myself a drink of soda pop. Unfo rtunately there was no soda. I realized that when I got home from the store I had place the warm 2 liter bottle of Pepsi in the freezer. I opened the freezer and there was the Pepsi, frozen solid. I really wanted a drink so I grabbed my bottle of MAPP Gas and torch tip and proceeded to heat the bottom of the bottle. slowly the Pepsi started to melt. I set the torch down and took a drink, then I set the bottle down on the floor. A few minutes later, when I wanted another drink I reached for the bottle, but it was stuck to the floor. I pulled harder and-with a tearing sound-the bottle came free. I looked down and there on the carpet I saw a round burn mark. I guess the bottom of the bottle was still pretty dang hot when I put it down.
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Putting the soda in the freezer: everyone's done that at least once.
Heating the bottle and having it burn itself to the floor: I think that's all you.[;)]
I've put the TV remote in the freezer quite a few times, and burned my foot making popcorn but I've never welded a soda bottle to a carpet. Congratulations!
Njorl
What songs would you like played at your funeral?
Ivan Seeking
Oct11-03, 02:43 AM
Originally posted by tribdog
Any suggestions on what I should do?
Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.
LOL. Now that's comedy- you can't buy a gag like that! Ya I always keep a blowtorch handy... you know in case I get thirsty.
you could glue the pop to the floor, wait until she tries to pick it up, has to pull really hard, and act like she tore the carpet- of course that probably won't work, so I'd just cut off a finger- she'll be so concerned about the finger she'll forget about the rug, and then when it comes up later- feign ignorance.
Barring that, just start making your bed on the couch now.
renedox
Oct11-03, 04:50 AM
haha! now that is comic!
Monique
Oct11-03, 07:05 AM
unique, yes, stupid.. maybe uniquely stupid [;)] A friend of mine, a guy, used to iron sitting on the floor. In doing so, he used to put the hot iron on the floor with only a sheet in between. I told him, don't do that, it will damage your new carpet. Now, the furry carpet in front of the television, is not so furry anymore, rather a melted down version of it.. not that he has stopped his habit.. ofcourse..
I once did a science experiment to heat water in a paper cup in the middle of an otherwise empty pan on an electric stove. It worked. The water boiled without burning the cup. I took the pan, placed it on my parents wooden kitchen table. It left a nice round burn mark right where i put it.
I quickly set the table for breakfast, being sure to place a plate over the burn mark. I didn't even make it to breakfast before my coverup was uncovered.
So I suggest that you tell her the truth: You got thirsty and so you melted a hole in the carpet with a torch. The truth is so wierd that she is bound to not believe it, so then you can say, "Okay, I was watching trading Spaces and got inspired to create a new pattern on the rug, how do you like it?" When she says she doesn't like it, get upset and say: "Fine, I'll just leave all the redecorating ideas to you from now on!"
Originally posted by Njorl
I've put the TV remote in the freezer quite a few times, and burned my foot making popcorn but I've never welded a soda bottle to a carpet. Congratulations!
Njorl
How in God's name did you burn your foot making popcorn?
Originally posted by Zantra
LOL. Now that's comedy- you can't buy a gag like that! Ya I always keep a blowtorch handy... you know in case I get thirsty.
you could glue the pop to the floor, wait until she tries to pick it up, has to pull really hard, and act like she tore the carpet- of course that probably won't work, so I'd just cut off a finger- she'll be so concerned about the finger she'll forget about the rug, and then when it comes up later- feign ignorance.
Barring that, just start making your bed on the couch now.
LOL!!
Genius, Zantra, pure genius. LOL!
It's 14+ hours since he posted here. Has anyone seen or heard from tribdog? Oh oh...
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.
I'm with Ivan on this one. Or you could be really radical and do a dot pattern on your carpet with burn marks and say its artistic impressionism.
BoulderHead
Oct11-03, 03:19 PM
If the carpeting should extend into a closet or some other area which is seldom looked at closely, and depending on other factors as well, such as; the thickness of the padding under the carpet, etc. It might be possible to cut out the damaged area and replace it with a plug taken from another area. If you cut the plug in a way to leave enough material at the edges it might be possible to blend in where it isn't very noticable.
Just a thought.
Good luck.
Somehow I don't think he had enough time for that. He's probably serving out his sentence as we speak[;)]
Bystander
Oct11-03, 04:26 PM
The concept of "freezer-burn" has taken on a whole new meaning --- congratulations.
And that's your evasion/excuse --- just ask the GF if she's never heard of "freezer-burn" --- too bad I didn't see the thread earlier.
Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Either buy a throw rug or lay in one spot on the floor all evening.
This actually reminds me of an incident that happened when I was very young.
My parents went out and left my sister and I in the care of my 8 year older brother.
My brother was on a baseball team and decided to use the back of the sofa as a back stop for pitching practice. He'd stand across the room and throw the ball at the backrest, which had springs, and it would bounce the ball back to him.
On this particular night his aim was a little high. He missed and put a baseball sized hole in the wall right above the sofa back.
When our parents got home, there we werel, all three of us sitting quietly on the sofa, with my brother's head strategically placed in front of the hole.
The subterfuge lasted for about all of two seconds. (What parents wouldn't know something was up if they came home and found all three of their kids just sitting quietly on the sofa?)
Originally posted by tribdog
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Say it's a variation on the traditional crop circle. Damn those aliens!
tribdog
Oct11-03, 08:02 PM
I"m still alive, but GF started her period tonight. I've got the hole covered with a rug and I'm going to ignore it for the next five or six days. If I don't make it remember this: I love you all.
Originally posted by tribdog
I"m still alive
Thank GOD! I'll cancel the funeral plans AND the "Tribute to Tribdog" thread plans.
but GF started her period tonight. I've got the hole covered with a rug and I'm going to ignore it for the next five or six days. If I don't make it remember this: I love you all.
Now listen, Boulderheads plan will work but you may have to get started soon and not ignore it for 5-6 days. You'll have to get that piece of carpet looking more like the area it's going to cover. Once you get it cut to size, give it to the dog to play with and carry outside, you know, make it look used/worn...this is assuming the whole carpet isn't pretty new to begin with. Oh god, I didn't think of that! IS it carpet or is it a floor rug? If it's carpet, you're good to go. (If it's a floor rug, go buy her a beautiful new one! That's the only thing that'll save your a$$ in this instance - unless she hated the thing in the first place. Still, fess up first and then let HER choose it. AND admire her taste in floor coverings - a LOT![:D]) Another thing - you MAY have to clean the carpet (HORRORS!) around the spot first if you don't have a dog to waste the cut out chunk. This might be a good idea anyway, just to make a good impression on her. (OO! OO! - If you do THAT, you could blame it on the carpet cleaning machine! YEAH! That's it! THAT'S the ticket! The carpet cleaning maching did it![:D] - well, it's a thought...)
Another question - do you own your home or rent? If it's your own home, taking a chunk out of the closet is no big deal. If you rent, you'll need to replace the rug in the closet before you more out. Sooner is better, cuz you'll stand a better chance of matching the carpet at a carpet store now rather than later...
Last question - did she see the problem before she went on the rag? Or are you hiding it until after the Pre- and Post-menstrual symptoms pass? If she's already seen it at 'this' time of the month and you're still alive, she's definately a KEEPER! Throw the queen of your heart and life a BIG PARTY![:D] But if you're hiding it - I think I'll just put a 'hold' on those funeral and thread plans.
Hang in there buddy. We'll do our best to help you get outta this... [;)] But, put the blow torch away! OK?
russ_watters
Oct12-03, 02:48 AM
Originally posted by enigma
Putting the soda in the freezer: everyone's done that at least once.
Heating the bottle and having it burn itself to the floor: I think that's all you.[;)] Heh, yeah, I've made a lot of messes in my freezer, but I can't help you with the carpet thing. Its just too far off.
megashawn
Oct12-03, 07:08 AM
can I make a suggestion for the future when you become thirsty?
Yes, you can put down the blow torch.
Fill your sink up with some warm water, insert soda bottle, let it thaw.
This way, you can avoid burning your carpet.
Sorry man, I think your all alone on this feat.
I'd also have to agree with tsunami, fess up, be ready to run.
jimmy p
Oct13-03, 06:03 AM
I have been in a sticky situation like that before. I was home alone and dont ask me why, but i decided that it would be fun to light a sheet of paper in my old room. However the flames got out of control and burned my hand so i dropped the flaming sheet. Anyway i put it out with water and what was left was a hard burnt mess on a light coloured carpet. lol. Anyway i got out of the situation by getting a pair of nail scissors and cutting all the burnt ends off the carpet then used carpet cleaner to finish it off. That patch on the carpet is still rock solid burnt but looks normal from a height....well normal enough that my parents havent noticed and its been a fair few years now heh. On your situation i have to agree with the 'insert carpet here' method. Failing that, act suprised to see it and try blame your girlfriend for it. Its a different and exciting way to end a relationship and/or die horribly but oh well, thats what i would do!!
[:)]
Originally posted by Janus
This actually reminds me of an incident that happened when I was very young.
My parents went out and left my sister and I in the care of my 8 year older brother.
My brother was on a baseball team and decided to use the back of the sofa as a back stop for pitching practice. He'd stand across the room and throw the ball at the backrest, which had springs, and it would bounce the ball back to him.
On this particular night his aim was a little high. He missed and put a baseball sized hole in the wall right above the sofa back.
When our parents got home, there we werel, all three of us sitting quietly on the sofa, with my brother's head strategically placed in front of the hole.
The subterfuge lasted for about all of two seconds. (What parents wouldn't know something was up if they came home and found all three of their kids just sitting quietly on the sofa?)
[:D] Classic, Janus.
tribdog
Oct13-03, 10:23 AM
Somebody stop me before I do some real damage!!!
I cut off the burnt ends of the carpet, but then I had a 'hole' in the carpet. The original burn was a circle about 1" wide. After cutting it was about 1.5" wide. I tried to feather it so that the sudden length change wouldn't be so noticible. Right now I'm blending a patch of carpet almost 6" across, with no end in sight.
Monique
Oct13-03, 12:09 PM
What is underneath the carpet? In Europe we've got antique wood, just rip out the whole thing and tell your GF that you like the look of nostalgia.
Or even better! Fake an anaphilactic shock and tell her that you have got a sudden onset of an allergic reaction you also used to have as a child, to a specific house mite. The only solution is to replace the carpet and clean the whole apartment (nice side effect)!
carpets suck...i had a dog once who loved the taste of my carpet and licked holes in it...i ended up paying about $300 to replace it thanks to my dog...
Originally posted by Kerrie
carpets suck...i had a dog once who loved the taste of my carpet and licked holes in it...i ended up paying about $300 to replace it thanks to my dog...
This could work to your advantage, tribdog. First, you need to get a dog (if you don't already have one), then grind dog treats all over your carpet and let the dog start licking the carpet.
When the dog has finally eaten holes in the carpet, wait until the GF walks in and then say "Naughty dog, you've eaten the carpet!"
This didn't happen to me, but it's good for a laugh:
One VERY windy day one of my friends shows up for an auction (I was there too) looking to purchase some radio tower sections. They are in 10 foot lengths with 3 legs in a triangle shape about a foot apart from each other. He has a pickup truck with the standard 8 foot box. His plan was to install a rack in the front of the box to protect the back window from anything coming through and to use as a rest for the tower sections. Apparently the sections would set down in the back against the tail-gate and ride on top of the rack installed behind the back window. I'm sure you can see this coming. Wind got a hold of the rack and sent it into the back window now making it invulnerable to breakage from radio tower sections. So in a way, I guess it did work.
Originally posted by tribdog
Somebody stop me before I do some real damage!!!
I cut off the burnt ends of the carpet, but then I had a 'hole' in the carpet. The original burn was a circle about 1" wide. After cutting it was about 1.5" wide. I tried to feather it so that the sudden length change wouldn't be so noticible. Right now I'm blending a patch of carpet almost 6" across, with no end in sight.
Tribdog, I think that you are now in SERIOUSLY DEEP sh*t. You might want to consider calling a carpet restoration oufit. They may be able to save your a$$ (at a considerable price, probably). Or give Boulderheads idea a shot before you do that. You didn't answer my question, tho. Does GF know already or are you still trying to keep this hidden? (and what do you MEAN before you do some real damage?[8)] Don't you think that the blow-torched Coke bottle already took care of that?[g)])[:D]
Loren Booda
Oct13-03, 09:54 PM
godtrip,
One could fashion a pipe from the bottle and blame the scorch on bowl-burn.
megashawn
Oct14-03, 06:20 PM
Originally posted by me:
Sorry man, I think your all alone on this feat.
Well, I hate it when I'm wrong, but I like to come clean and admit it. I believe this story can even make you feel better:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20031013/od_nm/odd_russia_washing_dc
The unnamed Muscovite added a liter of petrol to his washing machine to help dissolve the stain
hehehehehe
I wonder if anyone can top this?
jimmy p
Oct15-03, 05:00 AM
Mega Morons
MEGA MORON #1
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]
MEGA MORON #2
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F**K-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f__k-up!"
MEGA MORON #3
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on video tape.
MEGA MORON #4
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
MEGA MORON #5 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!!!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
MEGA MORON #6
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and Demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
MEGA MORON #7
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
Not sure if these beat ur stories but i have a few more up my sleeve hehe
renedox
Oct16-03, 05:17 AM
lol, we have very funny people on this little li'l ol' earth :P :D
megashawn
Oct16-03, 11:55 AM
Ya, I saw the video of the guy throwing the brick at the plexiglass. That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
I'm still trying to understand what was going through the guys head putting gas on his pants and in the washer.
Monique
Oct16-03, 12:03 PM
Yes, I saw that plexiglass guy too :) I think he threw it a couple of times even, the last bounce hitting him out :P
Mentat and I are still waiting to find out how yo bur your foot making popcorn.
I had a shipmate that ran over his own foot with a motor scooter while touring the Bahamas. Another who power screwed his hand to the sheet metal wall for as steel building he was helping put up. The worst part was getting up the courage to unscrew himself.
franznietzsche
Oct13-04, 06:09 PM
Mentat and I are still waiting to find out how yo bur your foot making popcorn.
I had a shipmate that ran over his own foot with a motor scooter while touring the Bahamas. Another who power screwed his hand to the sheet metal wall for as steel building he was helping put up. The worst part was getting up the courage to unscrew himself.
Yeeeeouches!
So, tribdog, does your girlfriend know what happend, or have you successufully covered it up...so far?
ukmicky
Mar24-06, 08:37 PM
When i was a teenager i babysat for the next door neighbours, during the evening i had a crafty fag blowing the smoke out through an open window. I heard a noise coming from the bedroom so I placed the cigarette on the edge of a saucer which I placed on the floor. When i finally came back down from the bedroom I found the cigarette had fallen from the saucer and had burnt a long hole into there immaculate beige carpet. Frantic with worry and after two hours of pure panic i finally came up with the perfect life saving remedy, I cut little tuffs of fibre from the edges of the carpet and very carefully glued them into the hole. Perfect repair, it lasted two years and when the damage finally got discovered they were mystified as to what happened.
By the way did the bottle burn to the carpet get discovered? Is tribdog still with us.
tribdog
Astronuc
Mar24-06, 10:26 PM
tribdog comes and goes.
I believe this is now trib's longest-lasting thread.
franznietzsche
Mar25-06, 01:41 AM
Necroposting is PF's form of necrophilia.
Pengwuino
Mar25-06, 02:19 AM
I went to the refridgerator to get myself a drink of soda pop. Unfo rtunately there was no soda. I realized that when I got home from the store I had place the warm 2 liter bottle of Pepsi in the freezer. I opened the freezer and there was the Pepsi, frozen solid. I really wanted a drink so I grabbed my bottle of MAPP Gas and torch tip and proceeded to heat the bottom of the bottle. slowly the Pepsi started to melt. I set the torch down and took a drink, then I set the bottle down on the floor. A few minutes later, when I wanted another drink I reached for the bottle, but it was stuck to the floor. I pulled harder and-with a tearing sound-the bottle came free. I looked down and there on the carpet I saw a round burn mark. I guess the bottom of the bottle was still pretty dang hot when I put it down.
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?
you have a girlfriend?
zoobyshoe
Mar25-06, 02:24 AM
Necroposting is PF's form of necrophilia.
Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.
franznietzsche
Mar25-06, 04:03 AM
you have a girlfriend?
Did you seriously just quote and reply to a two and a half year old post? You disgust me you necrophiliac.
Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.
Eh, a large number of front page threads in most subforums are older than that. But certainly after a week or two.
Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.
If that happened, all our threads would be dead except for the erudite young minds contributing to the thread killers thread.
When i was a teenager i babysat for the next door neighbours, during the evening i had a crafty fag blowing the smoke out through an open window.
I didn't quite get this one. You had a multiple personality disorder in which one of your personalities was a crafty chain smoking homosexual?
Necroposting is PFs form of necrophiila
I have nothing against "necroposting," though it does seem a bit annoying at times.
tribdog
Mar25-06, 10:15 PM
damn, this thread lasted longer than the girlfriend did
DeadWolfe
Mar25-06, 10:36 PM
So what ever happened with the carpet?
tribdog
Mar25-06, 10:46 PM
The tv looked better there with the couches on the other side of the room. My girlfriend didn't love the new arrangement, but she was happy that I cared enough to try and rearrange the furniture
JasonRox
Mar25-06, 11:29 PM
The tv looked better there with the couches on the other side of the room. My girlfriend didn't love the new arrangement, but she was happy that I cared enough to try and rearrange the furniture
And what did you get for being caring... :wink: .
tribdog
Mar25-06, 11:54 PM
15 minutes of peace and quiet
jimmy p
Mar26-06, 04:50 PM
Heh heh heh :wink:
franznietzsche
Mar27-06, 01:38 AM
damn, this thread lasted longer than the girlfriend did
Wasn't that the same one who drop kicked a laptop and then suggested you play with her christmas present with her instead?
I just came across this following a link from Bob G's thread.
It's a little late now but a friend of mine had a similar problem some years back. He and his gf had just moved into a new house and she was going to visit her folks for the weekend leaving him with strict instructions not to do any damage while she was gone.
Obviously he immediately organised a party and as happens at these events he ended up with a couple of cigarette burns in their brand new carpet. As it happened they were on the floor in front of the fireplace and so to cover his tracks he lit a coal fire and then took a couple of burning coals and placed them over the cigarette burn marks.
Although it compounded the damage it saved his skin as his gf believed his story that the coals had fallen out of the fire.
Pythagorean
Dec23-08, 10:47 PM
mine may be better in terms of dumbshittery:
I lit a plastic (glad disposable... THIN plastic) container full of rubbing alcohol on fire in the house. I even went as far as to set it down below a hanging towel. The towel caught on fire and the girlfriend grabbed it to throw it outside, but it came apart in smoldering chunks, all which made their own little unique shaped burn on the carpet.
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