Fun and Quirky Answering Machine Greetings to Keep Telemarketers at Bay

  • Thread starter Thread starter LURCH
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Fun Machines
Click For Summary

Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around creative and humorous answering machine greetings designed to deter telemarketers. Participants share their quirky ideas and experiences related to unconventional messages, exploring the potential for amusement and engagement with callers.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • One participant shares a greeting that imposes a fictional fee on telemarketers, questioning its legal enforceability.
  • Another participant proposes a greeting that insults the caller, suggesting that they will be recorded as "Ignore" on Caller ID.
  • A different participant recounts a previous greeting that creates confusion for the caller, leading to amusing messages.
  • Another idea involves a recording that interrupts the caller with a humorous excuse for the delay in answering, creating a playful interaction.
  • One participant suggests a greeting that pretends to answer the phone while still being a recording, adding an element of surprise for the caller.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants share a variety of humorous greetings, but there is no consensus on which is the best or most effective approach. The discussion remains open-ended with multiple competing ideas.

Contextual Notes

Some participants express uncertainty about the legal implications of their proposed greetings, particularly regarding the enforceability of fictional charges. Additionally, the effectiveness of these greetings in deterring telemarketers is not established.

Who May Find This Useful

Individuals looking for creative ways to manage unwanted telemarketing calls or those interested in humorous communication tactics may find this discussion engaging.

LURCH
Science Advisor
Messages
2,550
Reaction score
119
I'm sure most of us have, at one time or another, thought of silly greetings to leave on our answering machine. I have recently come up with one that I wish to share. I would also like to know if anyone here is the legal expertise to tell me whether or not I can legally enforce the following message:

Hi, this is Brian. Thank you for calling Cash-Tone ServicesTM. Attention telemarketers: for all unsolicited sales calls, this service charges a $5,000 fee for the playing of the following Tone. By staying on the line until the sound of the Tone, 10 seconds from now, you are agreeing to accept this charge. All other callers, please leave a message at the sound of the Tone. Thank you and have a nice day .


Now, I actually look forward to checking my messages with great anticipation, hoping I received a sales call from a telemarketer!

I'm guessing some of the "quirky" minds in this community have come up with some fairly non-standard answering machine greetings. Let's hear them!
 
Physics news on Phys.org
Just came up with this one a few seconds ago.

Hello, you've reached Corey at (phone number). By staying on the line after the tone, you have agreed that you are an idiotic loco that isn't worth the oxygen. You're phone number will be recorded onto Caller ID under "Ignore". The tone will sound in 5 seconds. Have a nice day.
 
I used to have the following message on my answering machine:

'With Monique! ... Hello? ... Hello!? ... I can't hear you! Are you there? HELLO?? ... Well, then just leave a message after the tone.' *beep*

Evil isn't it? you get some pretty interesting messages that way :wink:
 
Record a regular message, I'm not here leave a messege etc. Instead of finishing though, play a loud beeping tone into the machine. Wait about 2 or 3 seconds and then, while still recording, act as though you just picked up the phone after the tone had rung, and apologize for being so late in a different tone of voice than you left the message. It plays out like this.

Me: "Hi, this is Jacob, I'm not home right now, leave a messege after the beep. BEEEEEP."
Caller: "Hey jacob, just wanted to(Bam, they're cut off by me)
Me: (still part of the recording, unbeknownced to the caller) Hey, sorry I got to the phone late, I was just using the bathroom. (Pause to allow response).
Caller: Begins response, is again interrupted by the recording.
Me: (interrupting) I was just kidding, I wasn't in the bathroom, this is still a recording, leave a messege now.
 
Here's one to use when you are home to answer the phone:

" Hi, you've reached the phone of "*****". I'm not here right now, so just leave a mess... Oh, wait, I just walked in, hold on. "

You then pick up.
 

Similar threads

Chemistry 35yo combustion chemistry PhD, free time and still no plan
  • · Replies 4 ·
Replies
4
Views
3K