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Math Is Hard
Dec18-05, 04:55 PM
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Kids are hilarious, especially when they are eager to offer advice to complete strangers. This conversation took place in a Laundromat yesterday between a six-year-old girl and myself.

Me: (pulling old sweater from the dryer, noticing the thread pills that have formed)
Girl: If you have stuff on your clothes, you have to shake them out.
Me: (playing along) Like this? (giving the sweater a little shake)
Girl: No! You have to really shake it hard!!
Me: oh, OK. (shaking sweater vigorously)
Girl: Thatís better.
Me: (Pulling inside out sweater from dryer and starting to fold it)
Girl: No! The tagís out. You have to turn it.
Me: ok, fine then (turning sweater right side out and then folding)
Girl: I saw Santa today. I took a picture with him.
Me: Oh, did you tell him what you wanted for Christmas?
Girl: Yes, two things. One is a game and one is something you ride.
Me: Great Ė I hope you get what you asked for.
Girl: Guess what it is?
Me: What?
Girl: The thing that you ride. Itís like a bike, but you push it with your foot.
Me: A scooter?
Girl: Yep!!!
(pause. I fold more laundry. Child is still watching me.)
Girl: Is your husband too lazy to help you with laundry?
Girlís Mom: Amber!!
Me: I donít have a husband.
Girl: Why not?
Girlís Mom: Amber!!!!
Me: I donít know. Iíve asked Santa for one every year.
Girl: Did you a take a picture with him?
Me: No.
Girl: Oh, thatís the problem. You should take a picture with him. You have to go to the mall we went to Ė mom, what mall did we go to?
Girlís Mom: Westside Mall.
Girl: Westside Mall. You need to go and tell Santa you want a husband and then take a picture with him.
Me: OK, Iíll try to do that tomorrow.
Girl: Whatís your name?
Me: Jessica.
Girl: I KNOW JESSICA! Thereís a Jessica at my church, and three Jessicas at my school. Thereís a Jessica next door to me and she has a cat. Do you have a cat?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Do you have a dog?
Me: No. Just one cat.
Girl: Why donít you have a dog, too?
Me: The place I live in is too small to have a cat and a dog. Besides, they might fight with each other.
Girl: When I grow up I am going to have a cat and a dog and they wonít fight.
Me: Oh, are you going to teach them to be friends then?
Girl: Nooo! (rolls eyes at me) Theyíll be brother and sister. The cat is the girl and the dog is the boy.

Obviously, I was too stupid to be benefited by any further advice from her. But she did give me a gracious smile and said goodbye to me before she and her mom left the Laundromat.
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